319: Still with you
319: Still with you
Ella’s POV
The apartment was quiet now, the soft hum of the TV long silenced as Lily’s cartoons gave way to the stillness of the evening.
She’d fallen asleep in her room, her stuffed bunny tucked under her arm, her little chest rising and falling with the steady rhythm of deep sleep. I stood in her doorway for a moment, watching her, my heart swelling with that fierce, protective love that only a mother could understand.
The conversation we’d had earlier about Milla still lingered in my mind, but seeing her so peaceful now eased some of the guilt that had been gnawing at me.
I closed her door gently and turned to find Shawn standing in the living room, his jacket in hand, his expression a mix of reluctance and resolve. He was getting ready to leave, and the sight of him preparing to walk out the door sent a pang through my chest.
I didn’t want him to go—not yet, not after everything. Last night at the hotel had been a wildfire, intense and consuming, but today, in the quiet warmth of my apartment, it felt different. Softer, more real. Like we were starting to rebuild something, even if it was fragile.
“You heading out?” I asked, my voice quieter than I intended as I leaned against the doorway.
Shawn looked up, his blue eyes catching the dim light of the living room lamp. “Yeah,” he said, his tone hesitant. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, Ella. I know things are still… new. I don’t want to push you.”
His words were careful, measured, like he was trying to protect what we’d started last night. I could see the effort it took for him to hold back, to give me space, and it made my heart ache.
He was trying so hard not to scare me off, not to break whatever delicate thread was holding us together. But the truth was, I didn’t want space. Not tonight. I wanted him here, with me, with us.
I stepped forward, closing the distance between us, and reached for his hand. His fingers were warm, steady, and I laced mine through them, holding his gaze. “Stay,” I said softly, the word slipping out before I could overthink it. “Please. Lily would love to see you at breakfast tomorrow. And… I want you here too.”
His eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise and emotion crossing his face. For a moment, he just looked at me, like he was searching for any hint of doubt in my words. Then a slow, warm smile spread across his lips, and he squeezed my hand gently. “You sure?” he asked, his voice low, almost reverent.
“I’m sure,” I said, my own smile mirroring his. “Come on.”
I led him down the hall to my bedroom, my heart pounding with a mix of nerves and anticipation. The apartment felt smaller with him here, but not in a bad way—like his presence filled the empty spaces that had been there for too long.
When we stepped into my room, I closed the door behind us, the soft click sounding final, like we were shutting out the world for just a little while longer.
Shawn set his jacket on the chair in the corner, his movements slow, deliberate, like he was giving me time to change my mind. But I didn’t. I stepped closer, resting my hands on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under my palms. “I’m glad you’re here,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
He reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch gentle but electric. “I’m glad you asked me to stay,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t realize how much I missed this—being with you, like this.”
I leaned into him, and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. His warmth, his scent, the familiar weight of his hands on my waist—it all felt like coming home. We stood there for a moment, just holding each other, the quiet of the room wrapping around us like a cocoon.
Then he tilted my chin up, his lips finding mine in a kiss that was soft, tender, but filled with so much unspoken feeling that it made my chest ache.
We moved to the bed, our movements slow and deliberate, like we were savoring every second. This wasn’t like last night at the hotel, all heat and urgency. This was different—gentle, intimate, full of a quiet intensity that spoke of everything we’d been through, everything we still felt.
I slipped out of my sweater, my jeans, and he followed, his shirt hitting the floor, his hands never leaving me. When we lay down together, the sheets cool against my skin, it felt like the world had narrowed to just us.
Shawn’s hands moved over me, slow and reverent, like he was rediscovering every inch of me. His lips brushed against my collarbone, my neck, my jaw, each kiss a promise, a reminder of what we’d been to each other.
I arched into him, my fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. “I missed this,” I whispered, my voice catching as his hands slid down my sides, igniting sparks everywhere they touched. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” he murmured against my skin, his breath warm and steady. “So much, Ella.”
We made love then, not with the wild desperation of last night, but with a tenderness that felt like it was stitching us back together. Every touch, every kiss, was filled with care, with love, with the weight of all the moments we’d lost and were now reclaiming.
His hands were gentle but sure, his lips soft but insistent, and I melted into him, letting myself feel everything I’d been too afraid to feel for weeks. The way he held me, the way he looked at me, like I was the only thing that mattered—it was overwhelming, but in the best way.
When we finally collapsed against each other, breathless and sated, I curled into his side, my head resting on his chest. His heartbeat was steady under my ear, a rhythm that felt like home.
I closed my eyes, remembering how good it felt to have him in my bed, to feel this close to him again. The weeks apart had been a void, a cold emptiness I hadn’t realized I was carrying until now, until he was here, filling it.
“I could get used to this,” Shawn said, his voice low and teasing as he brushed a kiss against my forehead.
I smiled, tracing lazy circles on his chest. “Don’t get too comfortable,” I teased back, though my heart wasn’t in it. I wanted him here, more than I was ready to admit out loud.
He chuckled, his arm tightening around me. “Too late.”
We lay there in the quiet, the only sound the soft hum of the city outside and the occasional creak of the apartment. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace, like the world wasn’t pressing down on me.
Shawn’s hand found mine, his fingers lacing through mine, and I let myself believe, just for a moment, that we could have this—him, me, Lily, all of us, together.
---
The next morning, I woke to the sound of Lily’s excited squeal from the living room. I blinked, disoriented, the warmth of Shawn’s body still pressed against mine. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open, a sleepy smile spreading across his face as he registered the sound.
“Guess she’s up,” he said, his voice rough with sleep.
I laughed softly, sitting up and stretching. “Yeah, and she’s probably about to burst in here.”
Sure enough, the door flew open, and Lily bounded in, her curls bouncing wildly. “Shawn!” she shouted, launching herself onto the bed and into his arms. “You’re still here!”
He laughed, catching her and pulling her into a hug. “Of course I’m here, kiddo. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Lily beamed, her eyes bright with joy as she looked between us. “Mommy, you didn’t tell me Shawn was staying!”
I smiled, reaching out to ruffle her hair. “It was a surprise, sweetheart. You happy?”
“So happy!” she said, bouncing on the bed. “Can we have pancakes? Shawn makes the best pancakes!”
I glanced at Shawn, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, does he now?”
He grinned, sitting up and pulling Lily onto his lap. “I might’ve bragged about my pancake skills once or twice. You up for it?”
“Absolutely,” I said, my heart swelling at the sight of them together. “Let’s make breakfast.”
As we headed to the kitchen, Lily chattering a mile a minute about her favorite toppings, I felt a flicker of hope.
Things weren’t perfect—there were still questions, still uncertainties—but in this moment, with Shawn flipping pancakes and Lily giggling beside him, it felt like we were on the right path. And for now, that was enough.