317: I want you

317: I want you
Shawn’s POV

The morning sun was just starting to warm the city as I left the hotel, my body still buzzing from the night with Ella. Every moment—every kiss, every touch, every whispered word—played on a loop in my mind, making it impossible to focus on anything else. 

I drove back to my place with a lightness I hadn’t felt in weeks, maybe months. Ella. She was back in my life, even if just for a night, and it felt like a spark had been reignited, one I wasn’t ready to let fizzle out.

By the time I got to the office, I was still riding that high. My usual routine—checking emails, reviewing contracts, preparing for meetings—felt less heavy today. 

I caught myself humming as I sorted through papers, a grin tugging at my lips that I couldn’t quite shake. That’s when Celeste walked in, her heels clicking against the polished floor, a knowing smirk on her face.

“Well, well,” she said, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed. “Someone’s in a suspiciously good mood today. Care to share what’s got you practically glowing, Hayes?”

I laughed, leaning back in my chair, not even trying to hide it. “You’re not subtle, Celeste. I know you and Sidd were behind last night.”

Her eyebrows shot up, but the smirk didn’t falter. “Oh? And what exactly are you accusing me of?”

I pointed a pen at her, grinning. “Don’t play innocent. You pushed Ella to go to that exact club, didn’t you? And Sidd was all over me about getting out of the house. You two set it up so we’d run into each other.”

Celeste shrugged, her expression unapologetic as she sauntered over to my desk and perched on the edge. “Guilty as charged,” she admitted, her voice light but her eyes sharp, studying me. “But from the look on your face, I’d say it worked out pretty well. Care to share the details?”

I shook my head, chuckling. “Not a chance. Let’s just say… it was a good night.”

She laughed, a bright, infectious sound. “Oh, I bet it was. You’re practically radiating ‘good night’ energy. So, spill it—are you and Ella back together?”

The question hit me harder than I expected, and my grin faded slightly. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk, my fingers steepled as I thought about how to answer. 

“It’s… complicated,” I said finally. “Ella’s hesitant. She says she wants to keep things casual, see where it goes. But I can tell she feels something. There’s still something there, Celeste. I know it.”

Celeste tilted her head, her expression softening. “Of course there is. Anyone with eyes can see you two are crazy about each other. But hesitation’s understandable, Shawn. You guys went through a lot. Breakups like that don’t just vanish overnight.”

“I know,” I said, my voice quieter now. “But last night… it felt like we were us again. Like before everything got messed up. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Then don’t,” Celeste said, her tone firm but kind. She leaned forward, her eyes locking onto mine. “Don’t waste time overthinking it, Shawn. If you want her, go after her. Show her you’re serious. Ella’s tough, but she’s not made of stone. She needs to know you’re in this for real.”

I nodded, her words sinking in. She was right—Ella had every reason to be cautious, but I wasn’t about to let her slip away again. Not after last night. 

Not after feeling her in my arms, hearing her laugh, seeing the way her eyes lit up when she let her guard down. I’d spent too many weeks drowning in work, trying to forget her, and it hadn’t worked. I was done running from this.

“You’re right,” I said, standing up and grabbing my jacket. “I’m not letting her go this time.”

Celeste grinned, hopping off the desk. “That’s the spirit. Go get your girl, Hayes. And tell her I expect an invite to the wedding.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help laughing. “Slow down, matchmaker. One step at a time.”

She waved me off, still smirking. “Whatever. Just don’t screw it up.”

---

That afternoon, I found myself standing outside a flower shop, the scent of roses and lilies wafting through the air. My heart was pounding, but it wasn’t nerves—it was determination. 

Celeste’s words had lit a fire under me, and I wasn’t about to let it burn out. I picked out a bouquet of red roses, their petals soft and vibrant, the kind of flowers that said everything I wasn’t sure I could put into words yet. 

I wanted Ella to know I was serious, that last night wasn’t just a fleeting moment of passion. It was more. It was us.

I drove to her apartment, the bouquet resting on the passenger seat, my mind racing with what I’d say when I saw her. I didn’t have a plan, not really—just a need to see her, to talk to her, to make sure she knew I wasn’t going anywhere. 

The city blurred past me, the afternoon sun casting long shadows on the pavement, and before I knew it, I was parked outside her building.

I took a deep breath, grabbing the roses and stepping out of the car. My palms were sweaty, and I felt like a teenager about to ask someone out for the first time. 

But this wasn’t just anyone—this was Ella. The woman who’d turned my world upside down, who’d made me feel things I didn’t think were possible. I wasn’t going to let fear stop me now.

I buzzed her apartment, my heart in my throat as I waited for a response. A moment later, her voice crackled through the intercom, soft but surprised. “Shawn?”

“Hey,” I said, a grin spreading across my face just hearing her. “Can I come up? I… I need to see you.”

There was a pause, and for a second, I thought she might say no. But then the door buzzed, and I pushed it open, taking the stairs two at a time. 

When I reached her floor, she was already standing in the doorway, her arms crossed, her expression a mix of curiosity and caution. She was wearing a loose sweater and jeans, her hair still damp from a shower, and she looked so effortlessly beautiful it made my chest ache.

“Roses?” she said, her eyes flicking to the bouquet in my hands, a small smile tugging at her lips. “What’s this about, Hayes?”

I held them out to her, my heart pounding. “I just… I wanted to see you,” I said, my voice softer than I’d intended. “Last night was… it meant something, Ella. To me, at least. And I didn’t want to wait another day to tell you that.”

She took the roses, her fingers brushing against mine, and I felt that familiar spark shoot through me. “They’re beautiful,” she said, her voice quiet. She looked up at me, her eyes searching mine. “But… Shawn, we talked about this. I’m not sure I’m ready for—”

“I know,” I cut in, stepping closer. “I know you said you want to keep things casual, and I’m okay with that. For now. But I’m not going anywhere, Ella. I want you to know that. I want us to figure this out, whatever it takes.”

She bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the roses in her hands. “You’re making this really hard, you know that?” she said, but there was a teasing lilt in her voice, and when she looked up at me, her eyes were warm.

“Good,” I said, grinning. “I’m not here to make it easy.”

She laughed, shaking her head, and gestured for me to come inside. “You’re impossible,” she said, but she was smiling, and that was enough for me.

We stepped into her apartment, and I caught a glimpse of Lily’s toys scattered across the living room, a reminder of the life Ella led outside of our stolen moments. 

It grounded me, made me want to be part of that life too—not just the passion, but the everyday mess of it. I set the roses on the counter as she filled a vase with water, and we fell into an easy rhythm, talking about nothing and everything.

“So,” I said, leaning against the counter as she arranged the flowers. “How’s Lily doing after her big night with Celeste?”

Ella smiled, her hands pausing as she adjusted a rose. “She’s good. She was a little clingy this morning, but Celeste took good care of her. Apparently, they had a cookie-and-movie marathon.”

“Sounds like Celeste deserves a medal,” I said, chuckling.

“Or a restraining order,” Ella quipped, her eyes sparkling. “She’s way too good at meddling.”

I laughed, but my mind went back to Celeste’s words earlier. Go after her. I was here, wasn’t I? Standing in Ella’s kitchen, watching her smile, feeling like maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other. It wouldn’t be easy—nothing about us ever was—but it was worth it. She was worth it.

“Ella,” I said, my voice softer now, “I meant what I said. I’m not going to push you, but I’m not going to let you slip away either. Last night… it wasn’t just a one-off for me. I want more. I want you.”

She looked at me, her expression unreadable for a moment, and then she stepped closer, her hand resting lightly on my chest. “I know,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I need time, okay? But… I’m glad you’re here.”

It wasn’t a promise, but it was enough. I reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. “I can work with that.”

She smiled, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were on the same page. Maybe not together, not yet, but close. And that was more than I’d dared to hope for.