Chapter 41 My First Time
Sarah POV
"I'm such a trouble maker," I whispered, my eyes welling up as I looked at Michael, the guilt crushing down on me. "In such a short time, you've had to clean up my messes twice already."
Michael's expression remained calm, almost casual. "Have you eaten dinner yet?" he asked, completely sidestepping my self-recrimination. "Maybe you should take tomorrow off, get some rest."
"I don't want to take time off," I said quickly. "I've rested enough today."
My emotions reached a breaking point then. "Michael," I said, pulling back to meet his eyes, "I want to move into your room. I want us to sleep together."
I felt him stiffen slightly. "Sarah, protecting you is my responsibility as your husband. You don't need to do this to... repay me."
His words stung because they missed the point entirely. "It's not about repaying you. We're husband and wife. We should be sleeping in the same bed."
Michael studied my face for a long moment. Finally, he nodded. "Okay. We'll do what you want."
In his bedroom, I sat on the edge of his king-sized bed, my heart pounding. I'd made up my mind. Tonight, I wanted to become Michael's wife in every sense of the word. The truth crystallized in my mind with startling clarity: I love him. Not just gratitude or attraction, but real, deep love. Everything he'd done, the way he protected me, cared for me, made me feel safe. I knew I'd never find another man like him.
When we lay down together, Michael pulled me close, his arm around me. His breathing was slow and even, a clear effort to remain calm, but the rigid tension in his body betrayed his true state. Minutes ticked by. I was prepared for more, wanting more, but he seemed content to just hold me.
Growing bolder, I turned in his arms and traced my fingers along his chest. His breath caught, and I felt his body react even as he remained motionless. His skin was burning hot beneath my touch.
Suddenly, he sat up abruptly. "It's too warm in here." His voice was strained. "I need a shower."
I lay there confused as he disappeared into the bathroom. The sound of running water filled the silence, and I couldn't understand why he'd rather take a cold shower than be with me. What was wrong? Was it something about me?
My phone buzzed— Mom calling.
"Hi, Mom. Why are you calling so late? Anything wrong?"
"Sarah, honey, where have you been today? Are you alright?" Her voice was tight with worry.
"I'm fine, Mom. Why do you ask?"
"Some injured wealthy kids came into the hospital earlier. They were talking about a fight at a club and mentioned your name. I got worried. Are you really okay?"
"Mom, really, I'm okay. Michael handled it all. You should get some rest and not worry about me."
There was a pause. "I miss you, sweetheart. It's been too long since I've seen you."
Guilt twisted in my stomach. She was right. I really haven't seen her in so long. "I know. I'll come visit soon, I promise."
After we hung up, I heard the shower stop. I expected Michael to emerge in a bathrobe, maybe we could pick up where we left off. Instead, he walked out fully dressed in pajamas.
The rejection stung more than I cared to admit. I sat up, gathering my courage. "Michael, why won't you touch me? Is it because of me?"
He quickly responded, "It's not you, Sarah."
"Then it's you? Do you have some kind of functional problem?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them. Oh God, I can't believe I asked him that. What if I've completely humiliated him?
His head snapped up, eyes flashing. "What did you say?"
Okay, he's definitely angry now. Maybe I shouldn't have brought this up at all. He's probably just exhausted because he's been running around all day dealing with my problems, and here I am bothering him with questions like this. "I mean, if you have issues in that area, I wouldn't mind. There are treatments, medical options—"
Before I could finish, Michael crossed the room in two quick strides and pushed me back onto the bed, his hands bracing on either side of my face, his brown eyes intense.
"Are you afraid it will hurt?" he asked, his voice low and rough.
My breath caught. Something had shifted in him, unleashed. "Why don't you use your actions to help me find out the answer?"
He kissed me then, deep and consuming, his fingers intertwining with mine. Every nerve in my body came alive under his touch. My breathing turned shallow and rapid as desire flooded through me.
"Are you sure?" he whispered against my lips. "Do you want this?"
"Yes," I breathed. "I want us to be real husband and wife."
What followed was overwhelming: Michael's gentle hands, his whispered endearments, the way he looked at me like I was precious. When he finally joined us together, I expected pain, but there was only pleasure building until it crashed over me in waves, leaving my consciousness scattered.
Strange, fragmented images flashed through my mind, but I couldn't tell if they were dreams or reality, because when I regained awareness, it was already dawn.
Michael's side of the bed was empty, and I could hear the shower running again. Last night felt dreamlike, but my body told a different story. What confused me was the absence of the pain I'd expected. If that had been my first time, shouldn't there have been... more discomfort?
I thought about my relationship with Blake years ago. Jessica had always insisted we'd never been that intimate. So, where had my first time gone?
At breakfast, I was still lost in these thoughts. Michael appeared, already dressed for work, looking perfectly composed, while I felt like my world had shifted on its axis.
"Michael, I wanted to ask you about—" I started, then stumbled over my words.
Michael stepped in, seeing me hesitate. "If you're feeling good, you can go to work today. I need to get to the company early. I'll see you tonight." He kissed me briefly and was gone.
After he left, I sat with my coffee, my mind churning. Blake's words from our confrontation kept echoing: hints about my past, things I couldn't remember. What if, during my memory loss, I'd been with someone else?
I considered calling Mom, but she'd always deflected whenever I asked about that lost time. I picked up my phone and dialed Jessica's number.
"Jess, are you... available now? Something happened between me and Michael..."
There was a brief pause, then her voice came through tense with concern. "What's wrong, Sarah? Is Michael treating you badly? Are you at home? I'm coming over right now!"