CHAPTER 51: Heartbeat

Atilla's POV.

My heart pounded so hard and fast when I reached my car. I made sure to lock the car door before resting my head on the back of the seat.

I didn't know why Ram's words had such a strong impact on me. When I left Australia, I was sure that I no longer had feelings for him. But after what he said, it felt like the two years I spent trying to forget about him were meaningless.

"Come on, Atilla, snap out of it!" I said to myself, feeling frustrated. But I was even more annoyed with myself for letting Ram's words affect me so much.

Was it really that easy to throw away everything I had worked hard for when Ram was involved?

I was surprised when I felt my cheeks turn warm, and when I touched them, I realized that tears were falling down my face without me even noticing. I didn't want to feel weak anymore. I didn't want to rely on anyone, and I didn't want to get hurt.

I quickly grabbed my phone from my bag and searched for the number of the person I wanted to talk to.

"Hello, love!" Ang greeted me sweetly when he answered my call.

"He...hello, Ang," I stuttered, unable to keep my voice steady because of the emotions I was feeling.

"Atilla, what's wrong?" I could hear the concern in his voice, and it only made me cry harder.

I felt like I was betraying him, even though he didn't deserve to have me feel any emotions for Ram.

Ang was my present and my future. Ram was just my past that I should forget about. But with what was happening now, it felt like my feelings for Ram were intensifying, and it only made me feel more guilty.

"Atilla, please say something. You're worrying me so much," Ang's voice grew stronger because of his concern. It had been so long since I cried like this, and it was because of Ram.

"I wish you were here," I said suddenly, and he fell silent on the other end of the line. It was true that I wished he was with me, because if he were, maybe things wouldn't be so difficult for me when I saw Ram again.

"Atilla, I wish I was there, too. I miss you so much. Is this about your brother?" he asked.

"Uhmm, yeah," I lied, feeling guilty for using my brother as an excuse to avoid his questions.

"Don't think too much about it, Atilla. Your brother will be able to handle what's happening to him. Oh, how I wish I could be there to comfort you. I'm going to the hospital later to visit your brother, and don't worry, I'll keep you updated on his condition," he said.

"Sorry, I think I'm just too stressed; that's why I'm acting like this," I said, laughing a little to ease the tension.

"Don't say sorry, Atilla, because no matter what you're going through, I want to be there for you because I'm your boyfriend, and I love you so much," he said, and I felt guilty once more.

"Thank you, Ang, and I'm so grateful that you're always there for me," I said sincerely, finally feeling relief from our conversation.

I talked to Ang for a while before I finally said goodbye and went home to pack for my flight to Cebu and prepare myself for seeing Ram and being with him again.

I had to fight against any feelings that may resurface because it's not right. It's not right because I've already decided to forget about him a long time ago, and it's not right because Ang loves me so much.

"Do you love Ang the same way he loves you?" I heard my inner voice ask, but to be honest, I couldn't answer because I was worried about what my answer might be.

When I got home, I took a quick shower and immediately went to bed, trying to sleep despite the many thoughts running through my mind, all because of Ram.

"I think it was a mistake to come back to the Philippines," I thought, but I knew I didn't have an option because of what happened to Henry. I had to put up with being near Ram.

"I will not let you do as you wish, Ram," I said to myself with determination, and with that thought in mind, I felt sleepy and soon fell asleep.

Although I slept late, I woke up early the next day, probably because my body had gotten used to getting little sleep.

I quickly got ready and headed to NAIA for my flight to Cebu. I decided to meet Ram in Cebu because I didn't know what might happen while we were on the plane, and I didn't want to experience the feelings I have whenever Ram is near.

After waiting for a few moments, the passengers on the plane to Cebu were called, and since I had a window seat, I quickly settled in. I decided to close my eyes and try to catch up on some sleep because just because my body had gotten used to sleeping for a few hours didn't mean I didn't crave more sleep.

The plane was about to take off when I felt the passenger next to me adjust his seat. I looked at my seatmate for a moment before realizing who he was.

"What are you doing here?!" I asked him in surprise, while he closed his eyes, probably trying to do the same thing as me. Although I was ready to sleep due to fatigue, I suddenly lost my mind when I realized that Ram was my seatmate.

"Lower down your voice, Atilla. Some people are trying to sleep here. I'm here because we're going to Cebu to meet with investors, or don't tell me you've forgotten about that?" He said this, winking at me.

"Of course, I remember. What I meant was, How did you end up here too?" I asked him while he remained with his eyes closed.

"Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe fate brought us here together," he said, winking at me, I almost kissed his kissable lips but immediately snapped out of my thoughts.

"I don't believe in fate, Ram," I replied, deciding not to dwell on our chance encounter on the plane, but I didn't believe it was a coincidence that we were seated next to each other.

It was possible that we were on the same plane, but I couldn't believe it was a coincidence that we ended up sitting next to each other. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't ignore the presence of Ram next to me, and I felt like he didn't even care.

"I tried to continue my interrupted nap, but how could I do that when I felt Ram's presence beside me as if it didn't matter to him that I was next to him?

Somehow, it irritated me that he was acting like I wasn't there.

"But shouldn't you be happy that he's not bothering you?" My inner voice asked, and I paused to think about that because it was true.

I should be relieved that he wasn't bothering me, but instead, I feel confused, and my thoughts are all over the place."