CHAPTER 46: A Different You

Ram's POV.

I was just silently staring at the woman I'd been yearning for for years, the person I love and who I hurt so much because of my blasted pride. If only I had just accepted her apology, she might not have left or disappeared from my life.

I blame myself every day for hurting the woman I love, and regretting that instead of being happy with her, I chose to drive her away from my life.

Miranda kept telling me that I should move on, but how could I move on when my heart only longed for the same woman?

My heart wants to run and hold her in my arms, never letting her go, but every time I look at her face, something stops me from doing what my heart wants.

She still looks like the girl I met two years ago, but as I keep looking at her, I can tell that something has changed about her.

The way she moves, the way she carries herself, it's full of confidence, unlike the old Atilla, who was shy and timid. The Atilla in front of me is very different from the young girl I love, but still, my heart pounds while looking at her.

"Hi Ram, long time no see," she greets me with a smile as if she's just greeting an old friend she hasn't seen in a while, instead of the person she loved so much.

Aside from her appearance, her way of speaking has also changed as if she's very sure of what she's saying, and I'm really taken aback by it.

"Atilla..." is all I can say as I continue to stare at her as if our reunion is nothing to her.

I couldn't stop thinking that it was so unfair because my heart felt like it was going to explode with the love I felt for her upon seeing her again, but she remained indifferent.

"How are you? It seems like the past two years have been good to you," she says with a smile.

I feel like I'm going to burst from what I just heard. What exactly does she mean when she claims that the last two years have been great to me when my life was miserable without her?

For two years, all I've wanted was to see her again, to ask for her forgiveness, and to hope that she'll love me again.

"Atilla..." I feel like a broken record just calling out her name.

I know I should apologize and beg her to come back to me, but the truth is, I feel like I've swallowed my tongue and don't know what to say.

"I'll go ahead, Elaine. You take care of Henry for now, I'll be back this afternoon," she says goodbye and is about to leave the room when my hand moves on its own and stops her from leaving.

"Please don't go," I finally found the courage to speak.

She looked surprised while looking at my hand holding her arm, but a small smile appeared on her lips a few seconds later.

"Don't worry, I'll be back later, and besides, I'm not going anywhere," she says.

I was afraid that she would leave the country again, and I won't be able to see her, but her assurance finally calmed me down and returned my rationality.

I forced myself to let go of her arm and to watch silently as she walked away, even her walk exuded such confidence.

"She just got back from Australia, I called her and told her about what happened to her brother," Elained explained, and then I remembered the reason I came here.

"So Atilla was hiding in Australia," I thought to myself.

I realized that I'd been looking in the wrong country for the past two years. I've been searching for her in the US, where she met Miranda.

I can't help but look at Henry, who's unaware of everything.

To be honest, I still feel mad at him for hiding his sister. But even so, I understand why he did it. I hurt Atilla too much, and he just wanted to protect his younger sister.

"I know that Henry's actions hurt you, but remember that he only did what he thought was best for his sister," she suddenly said, as if she could read my thoughts, even though she continued to look at her husband's face.

I decided not to speak because I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that Atilla and I were both hurt and if Henry hadn't done anything to keep me from finding Atilla, maybe we could have fixed our relationship.

"Atilla was deeply hurt by what happened. I know she cries every day because of your breakup. It hurts her because she thinks it will make you happy," Elaine continued when I didn't speak, and it felt like my heart was breaking hearing it.

I continued to blame myself for Atilla's suffering, all because of my stupid pride.

"And I tend to erase any sadness that I caused her. I promise you I will make it up to her," I confidently promised, but I was surprised by her response.

"Please don't, Ram. If you really love Atilla, don't make her go through it again," she said seriously, looking straight at me, and I could see the seriousness on her face.

"Sorry... I don't get it. If Atilla was hurt, isn't it right for me to do something to remove the sadness she has experienced for two years?"

I was still confused by her request because it didn't make any sense.

"She has already moved on. Maybe you noticed earlier that she's different from the Atilla you knew before. She's already successful and independent, unlike the naive, innocent girl you met two years ago," she explained.

She was right because that was exactly how I felt when I saw Atilla again earlier.

"I'm sorry, Elaine, but I can't do what you wanted me to do. Two years had passed, but my feelings for Atilla still remained, I love her more than I love anyone else even myself, and now that she's back, I will do everything for her to forgive me," I replied.

"Can't you see, Ram? She already moved on, and it would be unfair for her if you still bother her," she said.

"If she did move on, I will just do all I can to make her fall in love with me again, but if there is a promise I could give you is that, if she let me be part of her life again, I will make sure to make her happy," I swore.

Elaine decided not to speak anymore and returned her attention to her husband, who was still unconscious.

Seeing Atilla again made me feel alive. For two years, it was like I was dead, even though I was moving. My life lost its meaning when the woman I loved the most disappeared. And now that she's here, I will do everything to make her fall in love with me again.

During the two years, she was gone from my life, my love for her did not fade; in fact, it grew stronger, and seeing her again strengthened my feelings for her; could I pass up the opportunity to make amends with the woman I will always love?

Whatever it takes, I have to make her fall in love with me again, but I was hoping that even if she only had fleeting feelings for me, she would still love me.

I disregarded Elaine's stare as I considered what I needed to do to win back Atilla; it may be selfish on my part, but I can't let her go, not before, and not now.