Chapter 50 The morning after

Chapter 50 The morning after
Zack's POV

I had not slept since she said it.

You don't have to keep your hand off my back. Even when no one is watching.

I had stood in that kitchen for twenty minutes after she left. I had picked up my glass. I had put it down. I had picked it up again. I had drunk the water that I had not been drinking for two hours. Then I had gone upstairs and lain on my bed and looked at the ceiling and replayed every word she had said and every word I had said and I had not closed my eyes once.

At six-thirty I got up. I showered. I dressed. I went downstairs.

The kitchen was full.

Dean was at the stove making toast. He had the radio on low. Something old. Something with horns. He hummed along the way he always did, slightly off-key, slightly behind the beat. Jade was at the table with a bowl of cereal and her phone propped against the salt shaker, scrolling through something. Luca was across from her. He had a mug in front of him. Black coffee. He was reading something on his phone. His face was neutral.

Mia was at the counter pouring orange juice.

She did not look at me when I came in. She said "Morning" to the room, not to me, and she sat down at the table with her glass and pulled her chair in.

I went to the counter. I poured my coffee. I took the chair beside her.

Normal house. Normal morning.

Dean put the toast on the table. Jade reached for a slice without looking up from her phone. Luca kept reading. Mia ate her cereal. I drank my coffee.

Nobody was looking at anyone. That was what made it perfect.

The butter was on Mia's side of the table. I reached across for it. My hand brushed hers. Just the edge of my knuckle against the back of her fingers. Light. Quick. The kind of touch that could have been an accident.

It was not an accident.

She did not move her hand away.

She kept eating. She did not look at me. She did not flinch. She did not pull back. Her hand stayed exactly where it was. Her fingers were warm against mine for one second. Then I picked up the butter and brought it to my side and spread it on my toast and put the knife down.

One second. That was all it had been.

Dean turned from the stove. "More toast, anyone?"

"I'm good," Jade said.

"Luca?"

"No thanks."

I bit into my toast. Mia drank her juice. The radio played. The kitchen was warm.

Then Luca looked up from his phone.

He set it down. Face down. He pressed his fingertips against the table on either side of it. His jaw was tight. His eyes moved from my hand to Mia's hand to the space between them where the butter dish was sitting.

He had seen it.

I knew because his breathing changed. Not dramatically. Not in a way anyone else at the table would catch. But I had spent five weeks in the same house as this man and I knew his rhythms the way you know a training partner's rhythms. I knew when he was steady and I knew when he was not. He was not.

His thumb pressed down against the table. Hard enough to whiten the nail.

I kept my face exactly where it was. I chewed. I swallowed. I picked up my coffee. I did not look at him. I did not need to. I could feel him looking at me with the kind of focus that made the air between us heavier.

Mia kept eating. If she knew what had just happened across the table, she did not show it. She was good at that. Better than either of us.

Luca pushed his chair back.

"I'm going to skip the interview this week," he said. He said it to nobody in particular. He said it to the room. He said it the way a man says something when he wants everyone to hear it and nobody to question it.

Dean turned around from the counter. "What interview."

"Mia and Zack have a filmed interview for a skating publication. Part of the Glacier Sports deal. The publication reached out to me separately. Wanted me to come in as a former competitor." He paused. "I'm not going."

Mia's hand tightened on her glass. I saw it. Jade saw it. Luca did not look at Mia. He looked at the table.

Dean wiped his hands on the dish towel. "Why not?"

"Because it's their interview. Not mine."

"Seems like a good opportunity, son."

"It's not my opportunity."

The kitchen was very quiet. The radio was still playing but nobody was listening to it. Jade had stopped scrolling. Her eyes were on Luca. Dean was holding the dish towel with both hands. Mia was looking at her cereal.

Luca stood up. He picked up his mug. He walked to the sink. He rinsed it. He set it on the rack. He did everything slowly and carefully and none of it was slow or careful. It was controlled. The kind of controlled that took effort.

He turned around. He looked at me.

Not at Mia. At me.

His face was still. His eyes were not. His eyes said every single thing his mouth was not saying and I heard all of it and I did not look away.

He pushed his chair in.

"Good luck with the interview," he said.

He walked out of the kitchen. His footsteps went down the hall. His bedroom door closed. Not a slam. Just a close.

Dean looked at Mia. "Did I miss something?"

"No, Dad."

Jade picked up her phone and resumed scrolling. She did not say a word. She did not have to. The look she gave me on her way out said everything.

I finished my toast. Mia finished her cereal. We sat at the table for another three minutes in a silence that was not comfortable and was not uncomfortable. It was just there. Between us. Holding the shape of a touch that had lasted one second and meant more than either of us was ready to say out loud.