Chapter 36 What Changed

Chapter 36 What Changed


Chapter: What Changed

Ava’s POV

Something had changed.

I felt it the moment I woke up.

The room was the same. The soft bed. The quiet air. The gentle light slipping through the curtains. Everything looked exactly the same as yesterday.

But inside me… nothing felt the same.

I stared at the ceiling for a long time, my thoughts moving slowly, heavily, like they didn’t want to settle.

His voice echoed in my head.

“I don’t like feeling like I could lose you.”

My chest tightened.

Lose me?

Why would he say something like that?

This wasn’t real.

It wasn’t supposed to be real.

I sat up slowly, pulling the blanket closer to myself as if it could shield me from my own thoughts.

This was just an arrangement. A deal. Something temporary.

So why did it feel like something more?

Why did his words stay in my chest like they belonged there?

I pressed my fingers lightly against my heart.

It was beating too fast.

Morning

I took longer than usual to get ready.

Not because I needed to.

But because I didn’t want to walk out of that room and face him.

That alone scared me.

I used to feel nervous around him.

Now I felt… something else.

Aware.

Too aware.

I stepped out finally, my movements slower, quieter than usual.

The house was calm. I could hear soft sounds from the kitchen—plates, water running, Mrs. Reed humming softly.

Normal.

Everything was normal.

So why didn’t I feel normal?

I walked into the kitchen.

Mrs. Reed smiled the moment she saw me. “Good morning, Ava.”

“Good morning,” I replied softly.

I kept my eyes down.

I didn’t look around.

Because I knew if I looked… I would see him.

And I didn’t know how to face him yet.

“Come sit,” she said gently.

I nodded and sat down, folding my hands in my lap. I focused on the table. The cup. The small details. Anything but him.

But even without looking…

I felt him.

His presence was too strong to ignore.

It was like the air shifted around him.

Heavy.

Watching.

Waiting.

Avoiding Him

I kept my answers short.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“I’m fine.”

Even when Mrs. Reed asked simple questions, I didn’t say much.

I wasn’t trying to be rude.

I just didn’t trust my voice.

Because if I spoke too much… something might slip out.

Something real.

I stood up quickly after eating. “I’ll help clean,” I said, already moving.

“You don’t have to—” Mrs. Reed started.

“I want to,” I insisted softly.

I moved around the kitchen, washing dishes, wiping surfaces, keeping myself busy.

Busy meant safe.

Busy meant I didn’t have to think.

But even then…

I felt his eyes on me.

Every movement.

Every step.

Every breath.

And it made my hands shake slightly.

He Notices

I was drying a plate when I felt it.

Not just his gaze.

His presence.

Closer.

Too close.

I froze.

The towel in my hand stopped moving.

“Look at me.”

His voice was low.

Calm.

But firm.

My fingers tightened around the plate.

I didn’t turn immediately.

I couldn’t.

“Ava.”

My name.

Softer this time.

But heavier.

I slowly turned.

And there he was.

Standing right in front of me.

Close.

Too close.

His eyes locked onto mine instantly.

Sharp.

Focused.

Searching.

“You were fine yesterday,” he said quietly.

My heart started racing.

“What changed?”

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

I didn’t know how to answer that.

Because I didn’t fully understand it myself.

“I… nothing changed,” I said softly.

It was a lie.

We both knew it.

His jaw tightened slightly.

“You’re avoiding me.”

I shook my head quickly. “I’m not—”

“You are.”

His voice wasn’t loud.

But it cut through me.

“You won’t look at me,” he continued.

“You’re speaking less.”

“You’re keeping distance.”

Every word hit too close.

Because it was true.

I swallowed.

“I’m just… tired,” I said weakly.

He didn’t move.

Didn’t blink.

Didn’t believe me.

“Don’t lie to me.”

My chest tightened.

The room suddenly felt too small.

Too quiet.

Too real.

Breaking

“I’m not lying,” I whispered.

“You are.”

Something inside me cracked.

“I said I’m not!” I said, my voice shaking now.

The words came out louder than I expected.

The silence that followed was heavy.

I looked down quickly, my chest rising and falling too fast.

“I just…” My voice broke.

I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself.

“I just don’t understand this.”

His expression softened slightly.

“Understand what?”

I forced myself to look at him.

“This,” I said quietly. “Us.”

The word felt strange on my tongue.

“Us.”

“This wasn’t supposed to feel real,” I continued. “It was supposed to be simple. A deal. Something clear.”

My voice trembled more with every word.

“But it’s not simple anymore.”

He didn’t interrupt.

He just listened.

And that made it harder.

“Yesterday…” I swallowed. “When you said that… when you said you didn’t want to lose me…”

My chest tightened again.

“That’s not something people say in fake relationships.”

Silence.

Heavy.

Unavoidable.

“I don’t know what this is anymore,” I admitted.

My hands were shaking now.

“And that scares me.”

The Truth

I looked away.

Because I couldn’t face him when I said the next part.

“I don’t want to depend on something that isn’t mine.”

The words came out quietly.

But they felt like they carried everything inside me.

Fear.

Hope.

Doubt.

Loneliness.

“I’ve lived on my own,” I continued softly. “I’ve learned not to rely on anyone. Because people leave. Things end.”

My throat tightened.

“If I get used to this… to you… what happens when it’s over?”

That was the real question.

The one I had been avoiding.

The one that scared me the most.

His Response

The silence stretched.

For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer.

Then he stepped closer.

Slow.

Deliberate.

I felt my breath catch.

He stopped just in front of me.

Close enough that I could feel his presence again.

Strong.

Steady.

Certain.

“Then don’t treat it like it’s temporary.”

My heart stopped.

I looked up at him.

“What?”

His eyes held mine.

Completely.

“Don’t act like this is something that’s going to end,” he said calmly.

My chest tightened.

“But it is—”

“Only if you decide it is.”

That made my thoughts spin.

“You’re the one creating distance,” he continued.

“You’re the one turning this into something fragile.”

His voice softened slightly.

“I’m not.”

I felt my breath shake.

“You’re not scared?” I asked.

“Of what?”

“Of this becoming real.”

He didn’t hesitate.

“No.”

That answer hit me harder than anything else.

Because I was.

I was terrified.

But he wasn’t.

And that difference made everything feel even more real.

The Shift

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he said quietly.

My heart skipped.

“But I’m not going to pretend this is nothing just to make it easier for you.”

I stared at him.

Speechless.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” he added.

“But don’t run from it.”

My chest felt tight.

Warm.

Confused.

Overwhelmed.

All at once.

Ending

I didn’t move.

Neither did he.

We just stood there.

Close.

Breathing the same air.

Feeling everything we weren’t saying out loud.

And for the first time…

I realized something.

This wasn’t just him choosing me.

Somewhere along the way…

I had started choosing him too.

And that was the scariest part of all.