Chapter 36 You're Pathetic
I struggled against him with every ounce of strength I had, but it was pointless. Ethan easily pinned me to the bed in his private jet cabin, restraining both my wrists with just one hand. His body pressed mine into the mattress, his eyes dark with a mixture of rage and desire that made my stomach twist.
The more I fought him, the tighter his grip became. He was determined to conquer me, to make me surrender beneath him.
"Ethan, get off me," I demanded, my voice shaking despite my efforts to sound firm.
He didn't respond, just watched me with that predatory gaze, his breathing heavy.
"You're pathetic, you know that?" I said, forcing a tearful smile. "Truly pathetic."
My words hit their mark. His eyes flashed with renewed anger, and he crushed his mouth against mine in a punishing kiss, effectively silencing me.
As I lay there, trapped beneath him, memories from my childhood flooded back. Growing up without protection, I'd learned early that being gentle and accommodating was the safest approach. When no one stands up for you, you learn to avoid conflicts rather than face them alone. I'd perfected the art of being agreeable, of fading into the background.
But something about Ethan consistently brought out a different side of me. I'd been as gentle and accommodating with him as humanly possible—far more than with anyone else in my life. Yet he was like a rabid dog that could snap at the slightest provocation. One wrong move, one wrong word, and he would lash out without warning.
I'd been patient. I'd compromised. I'd bent over backward to accommodate his moods and demands. But I was human—flesh and blood with feelings and limits. Even the most patient person eventually breaks.
I don't know how long we remained locked in that silent battle of wills. Eventually, my tears spilled over, tracing hot paths down my temples into my hair. Something in Ethan changed then. His movements became less aggressive, more deliberate. When it was over, he tied off the condom, wrapped it in tissue, and disposed of it in the nearby trash can.
After cleaning us both up, he pulled me against his chest, his lips brushing my forehead in a gesture that felt jarringly tender after what had just happened.
"Does it hurt?" he murmured, his voice low.
I didn't answer. The question seemed absurdly inadequate. Even when he was gentle, there was always discomfort given our physical differences. When he lost control like he just had, pain was inevitable.
My silence seemed to speak volumes. Ethan kissed the shell of my ear, his face nestling in the curve of my neck as he inhaled deeply.
"I'm sorry," he said, his breath warm against my skin. "I lost control."
---
The private jet touched down in Iceland with barely a bump. I followed Ethan through customs in silence. Outside, the air was crisp and far colder than I'd expected.
"The weather's worse than forecast," Ethan said, breaking our extended silence. He held out a thick down jacket. "Put this on."
I accepted it without comment, pulling it around my shoulders.
Ethan drove our rental SUV himself, navigating the rural roads with practiced ease. I stared out the window, captivated despite myself by Iceland's otherworldly landscape—vast lava fields, snow-capped mountains, and the occasional steam rising mysteriously from the ground.
---
Hours later, we arrived at an unassuming metal door set into what looked like an ordinary commercial building.
"This area isn't particularly safe," Ethan said quietly as he parked. "Stay close to me."
I instinctively gripped his arm as we approached the entrance. Inside, the workshop was dimly lit. Several craftsmen hunched over workbenches, focused intently on what appeared to be small stones.
An older man with wire-rimmed glasses approached us, speaking rapid Icelandic to Ethan, who responded fluently.
"Mr. Karlsson is showing us two rough stones," Ethan explained to me. "They've just been brought in from a new deposit. He says I should let you choose."
The man presented two unremarkable gray rocks on a velvet cloth. They looked like ordinary pebbles one might find anywhere.
"This one," I said, pointing randomly to the one on the right.
Ethan smiled. He spoke again to Mr. Karlsson, who nodded and carried the stone to a different workstation.
What followed was fascinating. Over the next hour, I watched as skilled hands carefully split and examined the stone. As layers were removed, brilliant blue began to emerge from within the dull exterior. Mr. Karlsson's excitement became apparent even before Ethan translated.
"It's a rare blue diamond," Ethan explained, his eyes bright with satisfaction. "The main stone will be about 200 carats, with a smaller 30-carat companion stone."
I gasped, genuinely amazed by the transformation. What had appeared worthless now revealed itself as something extraordinary.
"It's beautiful," I whispered, watching as light caught the partially revealed gem.
---
As we left the workshop, I noticed three men in dark clothing who seemed to be watching us. They maintained a distance but changed direction when we did.
"Ethan," I whispered, instinctively moving closer to him. "I think we're being followed."
"I know," he replied calmly, guiding me around a corner into a narrow alley. "Don't worry."
Before I could ask what he meant, eight men in civilian clothes emerged from doorways and side streets, quickly surrounding our followers. The confrontation was swift and silent—the three men were disarmed and restrained without a single word being exchanged.
"Who were those men?" I asked, hating the quaver in my voice.
"It doesn't matter," he said, his free hand stroking my hair. "I won't bring you to places like this anymore."
---
By evening, we'd arrived at what Ethan called a "viewing point"—a remote location with heated glass domes that offered perfect views of the night sky.
As darkness fell, the sky came alive with ribbons of green light, dancing and swaying in hypnotic patterns.
"The aurora borealis," Ethan explained unnecessarily, his voice soft with wonder. "Northern lights."
I stood transfixed, forgetting for a moment all the complications between us. Under that magical sky, Ethan took my hand and turned me to face him.
He lowered his head to kiss me, and I found myself responding without the usual internal resistance. When he slipped something cool and heavy onto my middle finger, I glanced down to see a ring set with the blue diamond we'd watched being revealed earlier that day.
I tried to get a better look at it, but Ethan's lips found mine again, his kiss deeper and more insistent.
---
Later that night, I lay draped across the edge of a private geothermal pool, the warm water lapping around my body while Ethan's hands held my hips firmly in place. Each movement sent ripples across the steaming surface as the aurora continued its silent ballet overhead.
Afterward, I sat nestled between his legs, my back against his solid chest, watching the ethereal lights. For a brief, unguarded moment, I thought: Maybe he isn't so bad after all.
As if reading my mind, Ethan's arms tightened around me, his lips brushing my shoulder. "Again?" he murmured, his voice thick with renewed desire.
I sighed internally. I take it back. He's impossible.