Chapter 130 Grief That Holds the Heart
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty
Valenticia’s POV
The house felt colder than ever the morning after Nona died. I woke up on the couch with her scarf still in my hands. I didn’t even realize I had been crying again until I touched my face.
Everything felt heavy. My body, my head, and my thoughts.
I sat up slowly. The silence in the house pressed against my chest. I waited for Nona’s soft voice calling my name. I waited for her footsteps. I waited for anything that would tell me she was still here.
But nothing came.
Dimitri walked into the living room a few minutes later. He had changed his shirt, probably sometime during the night.
“Val… how do you feel?” he asked softly.
I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t know.”
He didn’t say anything else. He just sat beside me and placed a warm cup of tea on the table.
“You should drink something,” he said.
I didn’t respond. I just stared ahead.
He sighed. “I know this hurts more than you can explain, but you have to eat a little. Just a little.”
“I’m not hungry,” I whispered.
“You haven’t eaten in almost two days,” he said quietly. “That’s not good.”
“I don’t care.”
He didn’t push again. He just stayed close.
A few hours later, my phone rang. I checked the caller ID.
Stefan.
My chest tightened. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t talk to anyone who brought more emotional chaos. So I turned off the phone.
Dimitri watched me. “You don’t have to talk to anyone if you’re not ready.”
“I’m not ready,” I whispered.
Not for Stefan. Not for Lucas. Not for anyone.
I stood up and walked to Nona’s room. The smell of her perfume still lingered. I touched the edge of her pillow and felt tears roll down my face again.
Dimitri stood at the doorway. “Val… the funeral home called. They need us to finalize some decisions.”
My knees wobbled a little. “I don’t think I can handle this.”
“You won’t do it alone,” he said, walking toward me. “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”
I nodded slowly, even though my heart still felt too heavy.
At the funeral home, I struggled with every single step.
“What outfit would you like her to wear?” the woman asked gently.
I froze. My mouth couldn’t move.
Dimitri placed a hand on my back. “Val… think of something she loved.”
I swallowed hard. “Her blue dress. The one she wore on my birthday.”
“Okay,” the woman said. “And her jewelry?”
I shook my head. “None. She didn’t like wearing jewelry.”
Signing the papers felt worse. Seeing her name written on documents made everything too real.
“Val… breathe,” Dimitri whispered at one point because my hands were shaking too much.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered back.
“You can. I’m here.”
When we returned home, the house felt even emptier. I opened the fridge and stared at the food Dimitri brought earlier, but nothing looked right. Nothing tasted right. Nothing mattered.
“Try this,” he said gently, placing a bowl of soup in my hands.
I took one sip. Then I put the spoon down. “I can’t.”
He didn’t argue. He took the bowl back and sat beside me again.
My phone buzzed next to me.
From Stefan: Val, please let me see you. I need to know you’re okay.
I turned the phone face down and closed my eyes.
A few minutes later it buzzed again.
From Lucas: My condolences. If you need stability during this time, you know how to reach me.
I clenched my jaw.
Dimitri noticed. “Do you want me to take your phone for now?”
“Please,” I whispered, handing it to him.
He took it gently. “I’ll keep it on silent.”
The funeral day arrived faster than I expected. I dressed slowly, feeling like each button I fastened drained me more.
Dimitri knocked on my door. “It’s time.”
I nodded and followed him out.
When we arrived at the cemetery, I saw more people than I expected. Many business partners from the Dykstra company. Some were family friends. A few neighbors.
I stood near the casket feeling hollow. The pastor spoke, but the words didn’t reach me. I stared at the wooden box that held the woman who raised me. The woman who gave me everything.
My breath trembled.
Dimitri stood beside me, close enough for me to feel his presence without touching me.
When the casket was lowered, my chest tightened painfully, and a small sound escaped my throat. Dimitri reached for my hand and held it. I didn’t pull away.
That was when I noticed Stefan on the other side of the gathering. He watched me with an expression full of pain and something deeper. He wanted to come to me. I could see it in his eyes. But he didn’t move because Dimitri was standing right beside me.
His jaw tightened. His eyes softened. The mix of emotions on his face made me want to look away.
He had hurt me so many times. And I was hurt enough.
Dimitri’s grip on my hand tightened slightly when he noticed Stefan staring.
I let Dimitri hold on.
Because I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up.
After the service, people came to offer condolences.
“I’m sorry for your loss,”
“She was a great woman,”
“Stay strong,”
“You’re not alone,”
The words blurred into each other.
Dimitri stayed beside me for every single one. Stefan approached once, but when Dimitri stepped a little closer, Stefan stopped and walked away.
Lucas didn’t come, but he sent a large wreath with a cold message attached:
With respect. — Lucas Ryder
I ignored it.
By the end of the day, I felt like my legs were made of stone. Every step hurt.
When I got home, I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling. The silence in the house hit me again. No soft humming. No warm laughter. No footsteps in the hallway.
Just silence.
I placed Nona’s scarf on my chest and closed my eyes.
“I don’t know how to live without you,” I whispered.
At that moment, the grief didn’t just sit in my chest.
It crushed me.
And the house stayed cold, no matter how tightly I wrapped the blankets around myself.
The only thing I could hear was my own breathing and the emptiness that filled every corner of my home.