Chapter 59 Chapter 30 (i)
FAE
"Lola Leah gave me a watch on my twelfth birthday. Did you know?"
Jigo’s eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"
"She gifted me a wristwatch on my twelfth birthday," I repeated. "I'll show it to you when we get home. It was such an expensive watch that I almost returned it. It wasn’t until two years later that I found out how much it cost. I told Daddy, but he said Lola Leah wouldn’t make a mistake in giving a gift. It was meant for me, and if I returned it, she might get upset. Then, at my Sweet Sixteen Party, she saw me wearing her gift and I remember she was so happy! She said the watch suited me perfectly, then later sent me a bracelet to accessorize it. I was so relieved that the gift was really mine. Then..."
I touched my cheeks because they were getting even warmer.
"During the cotillion at my eighteenth birthday party, I found out that you were going to be my dance partner. I assumed it was because you were the best dancer among the boys, but a part of me worried that this was another kind gesture from your grandmother. But after the dance, she pulled me aside and told me that we suited each other and asked how I would feel if you courted me."
He straightened up on the other side of the table, his face in wonder. "She did that, huh?"
I nodded. "I was so shocked and embarrassed! I mean... I remember the dance. How could I not? You were such a great lead and you were so very handsome that night and the best dancer of all.” I sighed, remembering the feeling of importance for being his dance partner. I also remembered that Carl danced with me then, too, of course. But now I could admit to getting thrilled at Jigo’s undivided attention as much as I was of Carl’s, just I had no thought even just a little we could be like what we were now. “So many girls were trying to get your attention, but I was the one by your side, and you were taking care of me."
He wasn’t smirking as I thought he would. Instead, he was smiling a bit sheepishly. "Yeah. I remember being all worked up about being the best escort because, at last, I could do what I'd been wanting to do. I wanted to show you that I was better at taking care of you than Carl."
"Gosh, I have to admit…" I paused for a moment, then giggled and shook my head at myself because it was embarrassing. But I couldn’t stop confessing, especially when I saw him lean slightly forward, waiting for what I was about to say. I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I wanted to tell him everything now that I knew I could trust him. That he would not make fun of me. That he actually fucking felt the same. "I was so thrilled with you that night." I rolled my eyes because now he was grinning. "Anyway, I thought she noticed that. That she thought I liked you and was being kind to me again, and I didn't know what to do if she told you. I mean, I also thought you were just being polite, doing your duty, and I was the birthday girl. I was thinking, if she told you that I liked you, you might get annoyed with me or something. That's why..." My shoulders slumped. "When I got invited to the debutante ball a few months later, I didn’t attend."
He stared at me. "I was supposed to escort you together with Carl then. The two of us were assigned to you. I was excited about it because—Carl hadn't told me yet—but he wasn’t going to make it. His grandmother asked him to fly to London because it was one of his cousin’s birthdays. So I had this chance to do again what I did at the cotillion since I hadn’t seen you since then and he wouldn’t be there. I could have you all to myself. But you got busy—"
"I was hiding."
"I know that now," he said sarcastically.
"I knew then that he wouldn’t be able to attend. I still lived with them then, remember? I haven’t moved out yet. So you were going to be my only escort, and I just couldn’t go. I felt like I would die of embarrassment if I saw your face and you were just doing it out of obligation. I was sure you’d get bored with me without Carl there to banter with over my head. I was scared to see signs that you'd just been made obligated by Lola Leah. I didn’t want to be your burden. I mean, at least you were talking to me, you know? But this one might turn you off me. So I didn’t go."
He was still staring at me, without a hint of a smile. He looked so pissed off that I couldn’t help but laugh even though I was trying to suppress it. Even though it was all in the past, he looked like it was happening right now.
"What?"
"You caused all this mess, and you didn’t even know," he complained. "I planned to make an effort to get close to you at that debutante ball. I was so looking forward to it. Then I found out you weren’t going. I was so annoyed that I left early for my schooling in the UK instead of attending. I left with Carl and it upset the grandmothers because there were more debutantes than escorts."