Chapter 44 Chapter 22 (ii)
FAE
He sent me a PM during lunchtime, reminding me to eat when I woke up. I saw the message after I’d woken up and sent back a reply that said:
F: I will, thank you.
Guessing correctly that I was awake, my phone started ringing the next moment. I shook my head, rolled my eyes at the ceiling, and accepted the call. Of course.
“Aren’t you supposed to be busy, what with being late and supposedly having meetings the whole day—”
“I’m in a meeting,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper.
“Uh. Okay. You’re also on the phone.”
“You were so formal in your reply. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just woke up.”
“Um. Okay.”
“Jigo? Go back to your meeting.”
“I am in my meeting.” His voice was lighter now. Teasing.
My lips automatically stretched into a smile. “Okay. Bye.”
“Eat. But wait for me for dinner.”
I took a deep breath. “Okay.”
I was staring at my phone the next moment, feeling giddy all over, all the way down to my toes. “What is wrong with you? Why are you so sweet? You’re making me… head over heels…”
I put the phone down on my lap and fell back onto the blankets. I stared up at the ceiling.
Oh god… that’s exactly how it feels, if I could imagine how it feels. Like I’m head over heels in love with him.
My heart was thudding so fast and hard. How could I fall for him this easily and this quickly? I wasn’t even sure what was really going on. Should I trust this? Was this going to end okay… or…
I gulped at the sudden constriction in my throat. I felt horrible. And gullible the next minute. I knew I truly loved Carl. But… what was this? How could this happen? Why did this feel so much stronger than how I felt back then about him?
“Okay, calm down…” I whispered to myself. I really was panicking, and I couldn’t help it and couldn’t believe it. All because a thought of this with Jigo ending passed through my head.
I didn’t want to lose him.
That reaction was fast, hard, and impulsive. It only meant I’d become so dependent on him that I was liable to get hurt again when all of this was done, and we weren’t together anymore.
How could I let this happen?
I didn’t eat. I couldn’t. I went back to sleep. I felt sluggish when I woke up and thought it was late in the afternoon. Somehow, I knew I would have messages on my phone from him. Somehow, I knew at the very same moment I reached for my phone to see if there was a message from him, to know if he was thinking about me.
There were about fifteen.
J: I ate tacos for lunch. What did you eat?
J: It’s very late for lunchtime already. Did you eat?
J: Did you go back to sleep, babe?
J: Hey…
J: Are you busy?
J: What are you doing, Fae? Are you OK?
J: Look, this is probably like stalking, but I would think you’d at least reply so I wouldn’t think the blankets have swallowed you or aliens have abducted beautiful women in the city.
J: Baby, I’m really worried now. But no, I can’t come over. Maria will kill me.
J: OK, I’m coming over.
J: Maria told me if a woman isn’t replying, she needs space, and I mustn’t come over. So… bummer.
J: Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Are your friends over?
J: Baby…
J: Fae… please. I’m not sure what I’m missing. I told you I don’t know how to court someone. Why do I feel like something is wrong? I just can’t imagine you not replying to me after five hours.
J: Ok. Six.
J: I’m coming. It’s just maybe a quarter-hour before this last meeting is finished.
J: Not done yet, dammit. What is wrong with these people?
That last part was the sixteenth. It just came in. I was biting my lower lip really hard, trying not to laugh.
Oh god, he’s feeling it as hard as I am. I think he’s really crazy about me, too.
So I sent him a message.
F: Fell asleep again. Sorry. Will eat now. Please don’t worry about that. I needed the sleep because someone got me so tired this morning.
I waited with bated breath for the answer.
J: Babe… thank you.
For some reason, my eyes smarted at that.
F: So… do your meeting and all that. I’m just here.
There was a moment before the reply.
J: Ok. Ok. I will.
There was another quiet pause after that. I could imagine him at the other end, sitting at the head of his conference table, his directors or whoever he was meeting with in their designated seats, while he was looking at his phone. He deliberately left something out.
Like, 'I love you.'
He didn’t text it. But I heard it.
F: Bye.
‘Waiting for you.’
J: Bye.
‘Wait for me.’