Chapter 41 Chapter 21 (i)
Fae
I stared at him in surprise. Okay, that was fast. That’s… good.
“What will you tell your grandma?” I didn’t want to talk to his grandma about this. I might find myself saying yes because she could be that sweetly persuasive, and I really couldn’t say ‘no’ to her. That old lady had a steel backbone and liquid fire in her blood. Whenever I was with her, it was like facing a queen. Even if she smelled like expensive baby powder.
I suddenly realized where her grandson had gotten his steel charm from. Ugh!
“I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something,” he was saying. “As long as you continue to see me even if the family I belong to used to be connected to your father’s old crowd and, well… I guess I remind you of Carl, too.” He didn’t like that. I saw a muscle ticking in his jaw.
“It’s not like that. I still want to see them. I will go to birthday parties and whatever event they will invite me to. They’re family. But in my professional life, I want to find my place on my own.”
“Because your plans before revolved around where you could be so you can still see Carl,” he said.
I was about to deny that, but I stared at him again, and even though it wasn’t clear to me before, it gradually became clear now.
“Yes…” I sighed, because I remembered the days Sarah would display the gifts Carl gave her on her desk for everyone to see, including me. Or that time I caught them hugging in the parking lot downstairs, flirting because it was overtime and almost no one was outside, before he let the girl into his car to take her somewhere quickly before anyone upstairs found out.
Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.
“Yes, you’re right. I got used to that so I didn’t know how to think of my life as my own.” I wiped my tears with the back of my arm. “Your friend must be thinking that if he’d told me he was dating Sarah, I would chase after him like a bitch.”
“Babe…”
“When did I ever force myself on him?” Even though I had wiped them away, new tears ran down my cheeks. “I couldn’t help falling in love with him then, but I didn’t think to force myself on him. I often avoided him in the Easton House because it embarrassed me that he knew. I never wanted to impose. I’m already grateful I’m considered one of his friends. But because of what he did, what they did… I felt… exposed. I ended up looking like a spoiled brat at the reception. I wouldn’t have been hurt this badly if he had given me enough consideration to let me down before he started dating my best friend. It’s like I was a waste of time. Like I’m nothing to both of them when they have both been important to me. And that still hurts.”
Jigo had circled the island by then and was hugging me. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry it happened to you. That it’s still happening to you.”
“I felt like such a bad person that day at his wedding, especially after it turned out I wasn’t even invited. Sarah just sneaked my invitation in as a prank. My going there to prove to Carl that I was happy for him, that nothing will change between us, became pointless. That day changed everything. It destroyed even our friendship. All that could have been prevented if I just didn’t go.”
“I know. She was a bitch, but he was such a prick.”
Surprised laughter escaped my lips.
“It’s true,” he said, pulling his chest back slightly to help me wipe my tears and comb the strands of hair that had fallen on my face. “He was such a moron. They were perfect for each other.”
“He’s your friend.”
“That’s why I have the right to say it as it is. He didn’t just hide his plans from you but from me, too. It was a dick move, and I found out at the last minute. Like you, I just did my part as his friend because I was already there, and he needed me, but it didn’t mean I enjoyed my part in it.”
“Really?” I asked, sniffling.
“Fae, he wasn’t fair to anyone—to his family, his friends, and most of all, to you. No one in that ballroom was ignorant of Carl’s transgression. And it wasn’t because he fell in love with another woman but because of how he treated you. That woman was a friend you let take advantage of you for a long time.” He rolled his eyes. “She took what she needed from you, and then some. And that’s not even funny.”
“You knew? Everyone knew?”
He nodded. “Only the blind wouldn’t see.”
I took a deep breath and didn’t say anything more, because doing so would bring me to the question of if Carl knew, too. I realized, after a moment, that though it might hurt if he did and still pursued Sarah that I would hurt but I had accepted it as part of this process. My tears suddenly dried up now that I had let out the last bit of resentment over what happened. He turned my head to face him and kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes. Then he brushed the hair from my face and kissed both my eyelids, the tip of my nose, and my lips.
“Are you okay now?”
I nodded. Then I opened my eyes. “Baby, you have to go to work,” I reminded him. He’s on his robe, something he’d left here in my place that first night before he had to travel. I remembered smiling as I watched him tie the knot on the belt a moment ago, before we came out here to the kitchen to eat.
Calling him ‘baby’ seemed to be the most effective indicator that I was okay. But it brought a look of longing to his face. “I really just want to lift you up and carry you back to your room again,” he said in a soft voice, his mouth near mine. “And god… I haven’t been this distracted from work before in my life.”
I slowly took in a deep breath. Why was it that just the sound of his voice could easily melt me into a puddle on the floor? I could feel something inside my tummy melting, culminating in tiny flickers of vibration of my inner muscles that tickled and warmed me instantly. It almost seemed like it was saying, ‘Gimme, gimme, gimme!’
I couldn’t help the hot glow that I felt emanating from my cheeks as I recognized that distinct look of arousal now on his face. I was thinking like… again? Where was he getting all this energy? Except I could feel my body’s reaction. I was excited about what that look on his face was about to mean for me.