***"Wrap me up in all your, I want ya***
***In my arms, oh, let me hold ya***
***I'll never let you go again like I did."*** *- Stephen Sanchez*
***Holden Young***
“Are you sure you’re not waiting for anyone? Maybe a *boyfriend*?” I asked, and Alissa rolled her eyes.
“Is that how you figure out if I have a boyfriend?” She laughed.
“It doesn’t hurt to ask.” I winked at her before trying to look through the peephole, but I couldn’t see anything.
I grabbed the doorknob and opened it cautiously. I didn’t know how I’d answer for myself if Alissa’s privacy was invaded like this. But, I was expecting anything, except this.
“Cyrus?” There he was, his hair messy from rushing, with a look I knew all too well: irritation mixed with exhaustion. I was screwed.
“Ah, finally.” He walked past me without waiting for an invitation, throwing his coat over the back of a chair. “Do you have any idea the chaos you’re causing?”
“I’m busy,” I replied, trying to stay calm as I closed the door. He didn’t even give me time to hold it shut and keep him outside.
“Of course you are.” He gestured around the apartment as if Alissa’s presence was irrefutable proof. “And do you know who’s handling the rest while you’re ‘busy’? Me.”
Alissa watched us, her blue eyes darting between me and Cyrus, clearly confused by what was happening. “We’re not going to fight here.” She said, trying to take control of the situation. What control? I don’t even know, but I’m good at pretending. “Alissa, I…”
Before I could finish, Cyrus cut me off, pointing at her.
“No, Holden. She’s part of the equation now.”
“What?” Alissa finally spoke, her confusion evident. Now she was asserting herself, great.
“If you two want to keep seeing each other, fine. But you’ll have to do it discreetly.” Cyrus crossed his arms like he was giving a lesson to two misbehaving kids. “Dating rumors aren’t the best thing for someone who’s just starting to get media attention.”
God, Cyrus was out to destroy me.
“I tried to warn you,” Alissa said, almost in a murmur.
“Oh, I know,” Cyrus replied, letting out a dramatic sigh. “He’s as stubborn as a mule.”
The two of them laughed, and I immediately felt the need to defend myself.
“Hey!” I protested, pointing at Cyrus. “You’re supposed to be on my side, remember?” I narrowed my eyes at Alissa, and she winked at me. Sarcastic, as always.
“I am, which is exactly why I’m here.” He retorted, not missing a beat. “So, when are you planning on seeing each other? We need to organize this before chaos breaks loose.”
“I…” Alissa began, but I cut her off.
“When you’re ready, just let me know,” I said, my tone more serious than I meant. She was always trying to run away.
She looked at me, surprised, but didn’t say anything. She never did, never admitted that she wanted more than she let on.
I could see it in her eyes. I knew that was her way of letting me keep being the “intruder” she always complained about. *Alissa still loved me, and I knew it because I felt it too.*
Cyrus sighed, running his hands through his graying hair in a way he only did when he was particularly frustrated.
“Well, I guess that’s as much organization as I’ll get.” He said, almost to himself. “Sorry for the inconvenience, Alissa.” He added, giving her a genuine sympathy that was rare to see.
She shook her head, visibly uncomfortable. The fake smile on her face was funny to watch.
“It’s fine… I guess.” I turned to her, giving a small smile.
“I’ll be going. We’ll talk later, okay?” She nodded, and I watched her a moment longer before leaving. There was a worry in her gaze, but I’d make sure everything would be fine.
I needed it to be. And I was good at being determined.
In the hallway, Cyrus followed me in silence for a few seconds before finally speaking. “You’re a hopeless romantic.”
I let out a short laugh, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “I’m not giving up on her, Cyrus. Alissa is my girl.”
He shook his head, but there was a small smile on his face. “Just don’t forget, you still have to deal with your contacts.” My smile faded, but the determination inside me only grew. “I know. And I’ll take care of that too.”
The mix of confusion and happiness inside me oscillated. I needed to know more about what Alissa had said, and most importantly, I needed to talk to my parents. They were traveling, as always. But the way I knew them, I could tell they were making sure everything was going well in my career. It was a relief to know they’d be out of town. My dad had a controlling sense as if I owed him everything related to my career.
It was like my talent was a gift on loan, and I had to repay him for it. We never got along, but we kept an educated relationship most of the time. Nothing affectionate, like it was with my mom.
But now, looking at my phone and seeing her photo saved in my contacts, I wondered how far she’d also controlled what happened in my life.
Had she been a passenger in my dad’s decisions, or had she been his partner in deciding the fate of the girl I loved?
“My mom leave any messages, Cyrus?” I asked as we got into the car.
“Two messages. They seem busier recently.” Cyrus said, probably poking fun at how they always tried to take up my time, even from afar.
“Great, I need to talk to her.”
But still, as we drove down the empty road, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time: hope. Alissa was letting me in, little by little. And for her, I was willing to face anything. Even the demons of my own family.
I was going to dig into this, no matter what. And it needed to happen soon.