35- Your soul from the sea

Deirdre, drowned. Isadora dedicated her life to dance and years after losing her children, she married a Russian poet. She strongly supported communism and sympathized with the Soviet Union. Because of this, she was heavily criticized when she returned to the United States after the fall of the old regime. After numerous public scandals, she divorced her husband and returned to Paris. She lived a joyful, libertine life, often bordering on scandalous, surrounded by her friends, she enjoyed luxurious parties and pleasurable trips. She tragically died at the age of 50, suffocated by a scarf that got caught in the car's motor while she was traveling. I remembered that strange fear I used to have when I wrapped silk scarves around my neck. I could use knitted or gabardine scarves, but whenever I wrapped my neck with a thin fabric, I felt that uneasiness of lacking air. The last time I felt that was in Melisa's car, that time in the hospital parking lot. If all of that was true and in my other life, I had been Isadora Duncan, maybe my tendency to feel everything in excess would make a lot of sense. I also read that Isadora died precisely in that car accident because she was going to meet a French man she was attracted to. Apparently, from my old life at age 50, I was just as passionate as I am now, finding purpose only through art and the passion of being in the arms of a lover. I was surprised and somewhat proud that my biography was on Wikipedia, but also disappointed to see the tragic life she had lived in contrast to my artistic life dedicated to dance. Isadora had affairs with French poets and artists dedicated to fashion and literature. Perhaps if I had been Isadora Duncan, or maybe it was a coincidence that I saw all that and it coincided exactly with that dancer I didn't know about until that day. I don't know, I will never know. But from that day on, I would think that in my other life, I was a devoted dancer named Isadora Duncan and that I shone brightly like a star in several previous lives.

However, knowing that didn't get us closer to the main problem, and the reason for my consultation. My state of melancholy. Dr. Mercedes said that being bisexual for years and having suffered terrible losses like the loss of my children predisposed me, from the beginning, to carry certain traumas rooted in me. That's what caused the depth of my feelings. There was no trace of Paola in that regression, and I needed to work through my feelings towards Paola.

I couldn't assume that she had been one of those girlfriends that Isadora Duncan had because Paola could have even been a man in another life. Nor could I be sure that she was in my other life. I looked up the biography of a few of the French dancer's past girlfriends, and there was a writer named Mercedes de Acosta who had great love affairs with incredibly beautiful actresses. There was an Eleonore who seemed like a strong lesbian even back in the last century. I wondered which of my ex-girlfriends could have been this Eleonore. I enjoyed imagining my former lovers from a possible past life. Isadora had a friend who wrote a biography about her called "Isadora: An Intimate Portrait". While other female poets referred to her as "Isadora, the Dancer of Pain." Apparently, suffering from past centuries had been my way of life, not counting the numerous male and female lovers I had as Isadora Duncan.

Deirdre, drowned. Isadora dedicated her life to dance and years after losing her children, she married a Russian poet. She strongly supported communism and sympathized with the Soviet Union. Because of this, she was heavily criticized when she returned to the United States after the fall of the old regime. After numerous public scandals, she divorced her husband and returned to Paris. She lived a joyful, libertine life, often bordering on scandalous, surrounded by her friends, she enjoyed luxurious parties and pleasurable trips. She tragically died at the age of 50, suffocated by a scarf that got caught in the car's motor while she was traveling. I remembered that strange fear I used to have when I wrapped silk scarves around my neck. I could use knitted or gabardine scarves, but whenever I wrapped my neck with a thin fabric, I felt that uneasiness of lacking air. The last time I felt that was in Melisa's car, that time in the hospital parking lot. If all of that was true and in my other life, I had been Isadora Duncan, maybe my tendency to feel everything in excess would make a lot of sense. I also read that Isadora died precisely in that car accident because she was going to meet a French man she was attracted to. Apparently, from my old life at age 50, I was just as passionate as I am now, finding purpose only through art and the passion of being in the arms of a lover. I was surprised and somewhat proud that my biography was on Wikipedia, but also disappointed to see the tragic life she had lived in contrast to my artistic life dedicated to dance. Isadora had affairs with French poets and artists dedicated to fashion and literature. Perhaps if I had been Isadora Duncan, or maybe it was a coincidence that I saw all that and it coincided exactly with that dancer I didn't know about until that day. I don't know, I will never know. But from that day on, I would think that in my other life, I was a devoted dancer named Isadora Duncan and that I shone brightly like a star in several previous lives.

However, knowing that didn't get us closer to the main problem, and the reason for my consultation. My state of melancholy. Dr. Mercedes said that being bisexual for years and having suffered terrible losses like the loss of my children predisposed me, from the beginning, to carry certain traumas rooted in me. That's what caused the depth of my feelings. There was no trace of Paola in that regression, and I needed to work through my feelings towards Paola.

I couldn't assume that she had been one of those girlfriends that Isadora Duncan had because Paola could have even been a man in another life. Nor could I be sure that she was in my other life. I looked up the biography of a few of the French dancer's past girlfriends, and there was a writer named Mercedes de Acosta who had great love affairs with incredibly beautiful actresses. There was an Eleonore who seemed like a strong lesbian even back in the last century. I wondered which of my ex-girlfriends could have been this Eleonore. I enjoyed imagining my former lovers from a possible past life. Isadora had a friend who wrote a biography about her called "Isadora: An Intimate Portrait". While other female poets referred to her as "Isadora, the Dancer of Pain." Apparently, suffering from past centuries had been my way of life, not counting the numerous male and female lovers I had as Isadora Duncan.