The Ultimatum

The Ultimatum
Amy doesn't seem to notice my sudden change in pace. She's still talking, her voice warm with what sounds like genuine respect.

"I mean, it has to be killing you inside, right? To give up your mate for your family? But you're doing it anyway because it's the right thing to do. That's... that's really brave, Julia."

The words hit me like individual slaps, each one making me feel worse about the lie I'm apparently living.

Because the truth is, I haven't made peace with rejecting Rowan. I haven't accepted that it's the right thing to do. I haven't even figured out how I'm supposed to contact him to arrange this supposed rejection meeting.

I've been hiding from the decision, hoping that somehow the universe will provide a third option that doesn't involve choosing between my family and my mate.

Which is probably the least brave thing imaginable.

My steps slow to a stop, and Amy continues on for a few feet before realizing I'm no longer beside her.

"Julia?" She turns back to look at me, concern creeping into her voice. "You okay?"

I stare at her, my mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air, trying to figure out how to explain that everything she just said is wrong.

That I'm not brave.

That I'm not doing the right thing.

That I'm not planning to reject my mate tonight, or any night, because the thought of it makes me want to throw up and hide under my bed until the entire supernatural world forgets I exist.

"I..." I start, then stop, because I don't know how to finish that sentence without admitting that I'm a terrible person who would rather risk her family's lives than give up her vampire boyfriend.

Amy takes a step closer, her expression shifting from admiration to worry. "Julia, what's wrong? You look like you're about to be sick."

"I can't do it," I whisper.

"Can't do what?"

"I can't reject him."

The words hang in the air between us like a confession of murder.

Amy stares at me for a long moment, her face cycling through several different expressions before settling on something that looks like disbelief.

"What do you mean you can't reject him?" she asks slowly.

"I mean I can't reject him," I repeat, because apparently my vocabulary has been reduced to variations of the same devastating admission. "I can't do it, Amy. I tried to convince myself that I could, but I can't."

"You have to," Amy says, her voice taking on an edge of panic. "Julia, you promised your parents. You promised me. You said you understood what was at stake."

"I do understand what's at stake," I say, feeling tears starting to burn behind my eyes. "But understanding doesn't make it possible. I physically cannot force myself to reject him."

Amy takes another step closer, and now she's close enough that I can see the fear starting to creep into her green eyes.

"Julia, this isn't about what you want. This is about survival. Your family's survival. My survival."

The last two words hit me like a slap.

"Your survival?" I repeat.

"Yes, my survival," Amy says, her voice getting louder and more agitated. "Do you think the pack is going to stop at just your family if they find out about this? Do you think they're going to carefully investigate who knew what and when?"

I stare at her, my stomach sinking as I realize what she's getting at.

"They'll assume I knew," she continues, her words coming faster now, fueled by growing panic. "They'll assume I was part of it. They'll assume I helped you hide it. And you know what they do to accessories to treason, Julia?"

"Amy—"

"They kill them," she says, her voice cracking slightly. "They kill them just as dead as they kill the actual traitors. Because in pack law, knowing about treason and not reporting it is the same as committing treason yourself."

The guilt hits me like a physical blow, so intense it makes me stumble backward against a tree.

She's right.

Of course she's right.

If the pack finds out about Rowan, they won't just kill my family. They'll kill anyone who might have known about it. Anyone who spent time at our house. Anyone who might have been in a position to discover the secret and chose not to report it.

Amy is at our house constantly. She sleeps over on weekends. She knows our family's routines, our habits, our secrets.

If they find out about Rowan, they'll assume she knew. They'll assume she was complicit.

And they'll kill her for it.

"I didn't think—" I start.

"No, you didn't think," Amy interrupts, and now there's anger mixing with the fear in her voice. "You didn't think about anyone except yourself and your precious vampire boyfriend."

"That's not true—"

"Isn't it?" Amy demands. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're willing to risk the lives of everyone you supposedly care about just so you don't have to go through the discomfort of rejecting a mate bond."

"It's not just discomfort," I protest weakly. "Mate rejection can be fatal. People die from it, Amy. Their wolves can't survive the severing."

"And we'll definitely die if the pack finds out about him," Amy shoots back. "So you're choosing a possibility of death over a certainty of death. For all of us."