After we've gotten ourselves settled in Dayne's truck, with me and Talis sitting upfront and Savannah in the back, I take a deep draw from my beer because if there was ever a time I needed a drink, it's now.
"You know, running probably wasn't the best idea," Savannah suggests.
I swing around to glare at her, even though she's right. "Don't you think I know that now? God, I don't know what to do. How do you tell an alpha you're not interested?"
Talis snorts as she opens her bottle of water. "You tell him you're not interested. But since you are…"
"I am not. I have no interest in mating with an alpha," I say firmly.
"And who said anything about mating? I just meant sleep with him and that'll burn the attraction out. Unless it's more than an attraction, that is?" Talis asks, raising her eyebrow.
I pointedly ignore her and turn to Savannah. "You know Jackson. Tell me he'll back off soon."
Savannah chews on her lower lip as she studies me. "I don't know, I mean, you guys were kicking off a lot of heat. Maybe sleeping together might not be a good idea."
I nod. "Okay, so I ignore him until we go back to Hardin. Good idea."
I swing back to the front and take in the rest of the pack standing around the BBQ as Luka and Nathan prepare to throw the burgers and brats on.
It's a nice evening, mild, and everyone's mostly in t-shirts and jeans. Everyone except Jackson, who's stood talking with Dayne and Jeremy.
He's in his jeans and boots. Nothing else. So, while Savannah, Talis, and I headed for Dayne's truck, he must've gone to grab his clothes from wherever he dumped them to shift and come after me.
My gaze goes to his chest and the heavy muscles I remember all too clearly smashed against my breasts. Why he didn't put his shirt back on is a mystery. He didn't even bother to do his pants up all the way. From where I am, it's hard to miss the dark hair peeking out just above his undone jeans.
"Do you think he works out?" I ask, lifting my bottle to my mouth and taking a long draw, with my gaze still fixed on that line of dark hair.
"Maybe I should lend her my vibrator," Savannah whispers loudly to Talis.
I turn away from Jackson. "First of all, ew, no thanks. Second, it's not my fault that I haven't been with anyone since Jared, okay."
Savannah reaches through the gap separating the front and back seats and gently pats my arm. "Really? Wasn't that-"
"A year, Savannah. It was a year." I sigh. "It wasn't the best sex I've ever had, but it was sex, you know."
At Talis' low whistle, I turn to find her rubbing her pregnant belly. "You need a vibrator." She snorts. "God, I need a vibrator. Since Dayne put this baby inside me, he's so afraid that he's going to hurt her that he's just not… you know, as intense as before. I need more than that, you know what I mean?"
"Uh, no. I don't think I want to." Savannah's voice is filled with disgust.
Not that I can blame her. Since Dayne's parents adopted her and raised them as brother and sister, I can understand the level of her disgust. I wouldn't like to think about my brother having sex, if I had one, that is.
"I could go visit my parents," I suggest. "They've met a few nice shifter boys in Miami, and I could spend a week getting a tan and having hot sex with a shifter I won't ever have to see again."
Talis snorts. "I don't think that was their intention."
She's right. Although my parents mean well, what they're interested in is the pitter-patter of tiny little feet. They want me mated, and this eagerness to introduce me to some 'nice shifter boys' is designed to get me pregnant sooner rather than later.
"Maybe it's time I settled down. Maybe they're right."
At twenty-three, it's not like I'm getting any younger. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder whether my parent's decision to move to warmer climes once they'd sold dad's timber business had more to do with hunting down a mate for me than to rest their weary bones in a hotter part of the country.
When I turn to Talis, I find her staring at me with her mouth half-open, and a glance behind reveals Savannah wearing an equally stunned expression on her face.
"What? What is it?" I shift my gaze from Talis to Savannah and back again.
"You like him," Savannah says, softly. "Don't you?"
I lift my nose. "I don't know what you mean."
"Jackson. You like Jackson and you don't want to. You'd rather let your parents play matchmaker to get away from him." Talis couldn't sound more stunned if she wanted to.
I take a sip from my beer to give myself some time to think about what I'm going to say. "Look, he's attractive. I won't deny there's an attraction there, but that's it. I'm not looking to mate with an alpha dick."
"This isn't about him being an alpha dick," Savannah murmurs. "This is about you not wanting to face up to what you are, something you would have to if you mated with him and became Luna."
It's impossible to miss Talis' confusion. "What do you mean, what you are?"
Before I can think to stop her, Savannah is already talking. "Omega. Heart healer."
We sit in silence, and though I can feel Talis' gaze on my face, I don't turn to her.
I know she must feel betrayed at me for keeping this from her when we're supposed to be best friends.
It didn't take me long to figure out I was probably her first real friend ever, after learning about the way her pack treated her. But this side of me is something I try never to talk about with anyone.
Not even Dayne.
"Is this why you can be around animals because I could've really done with that gift? I went into town once and a cat saw me, and it freaked the fuck out. Everyone just stared at me and the cat, and I know Fisher must've been wondering if I wasn't some weird anti-witch to freak a cat out like that."
Talis isn't wrong. While the average shifter can't be around animals since even in our human shape, we still smell of wolf, I can understand why the cat would've freaked out. It wouldn't have happened with me or any other omega, and I'm not entirely sure why. I guess it's just the way we omegas are built.
I can't stop my bark of laughter as I swing to face her. She's not looking betrayed or hurt, and I let out a quiet sigh of relief that she doesn't hate me for keeping this from her. "Weird anti-witch?"
She nods. "Witches love cats. It makes sense."
I just shake my head. "You are so weird."
"I'm not." Talis gives Savannah a side-eye. "At least, I never buried poop in a sandbox."
I can practically hear Savannah's spine snap as she straightens. "For the last time, it wasn't-"
"-you. Okay, we get it, Sav," I interrupt. "Come on, let's go back. We need to do something about Jenna's mood, and I need to get drunk," I say as I reach for the door handle.
Savannah's hand on my arm stops me. "Regan, about Jackson. Don't…" Her voice trails off. "I know he gives the impression of just being an alpha dick, but there's more to him than that. Give him a chance."
My eyes narrow on her. "That sounds like you know something about him. What are you trying to tell me?"
Her hand falls from my arm and she shifts her gaze away. "It's not my story to tell, but… just don't keep him at a distance thinking he's just a dick. He isn't. And he saved my life."
I wish she hadn't hinted there was more to Jackson because it only makes him more fascinating, which, on top of my naked lust for him, is not a good thing right now. I need to be finding reasons to think the worst of him, not the best.
It's my turn to reach out and grab her arm with a smile. When she told us about her and the Stone brothers' fight against the last of the Merrick pack, and about a shifter stabbing her-nearly killing her-it makes my heart hurt.
Even though she's mated to Jeremy now, which makes her a Stone instead of a Blackshaw, she'll always be pack and she'll always be family.
"I'll try. Now come on. You have to get drunk too, it'll be the last time we're all together before you leave."
Savannah snorts. "Getting drunk before an international flight? Sounds like a great idea."
We all climb out of the truck and turn to the BBQ.
The first person my eyes latch onto is Jackson. And as if he were just waiting for it to happen, he raises his bottle to me in a silent toast.
I wrench my gaze away and start for the camp table a few feet away. My eyes fix on the bottle of vodka. It's not my favorite, but it'll do.