CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
"Ifirst saw you five years ago."
I start in surprise at Dayne's words.
Once I'd stopped crying, though it took a while for that to happen, I didn't want to go back to the farmhouse where I'm assuming everyone had gone. I don't know if Dayne guessed I felt that way, or if he wasn't ready to return to the house either.
But after I'd wiped my face clean of tears, he gave me his shirt, then he grabbed my hand and led the way to the lake.
But not to toss me in.
We sat down a little way from the water, and several minutes passed with neither of us saying a word-long enough I was getting used to the silence when he suddenly spoke.
"I don't understand. What do you mean that you saw me five years ago?"
His gaze returns to me, and in his eyes is a sadness I wasn't expecting.
"There was a meeting of alphas in southern Colorado. It was also an opportunity to build alliances and cement relationships. One night I heard a girl crying and for a brief second, I caught sight of a pretty brunette sitting alone, wrapped in shadows beside the stream. But when I came closer, she took off, and I never saw her again. I looked for her, but no one knew this girl, and all the leads I had wound up leading nowhere."
He doesn't have to tell me who this girl is, because I know. Though the pretty part? That part throws me a bit.
Me. He's talking about me.
That night filled with dark despair comes flooding back.
I remember how I cried out my pain in the wild, desperate hope someone would save me.
Then I had the feeling I wasn't alone anymore. Someone was there.
How could I have forgotten the reason uncle was so desperate for us to leave was because I'd told him someone had been watching me?
In the shadows, the only thought in my mind was this was no savior, but just another bully like my uncle. No alpha had helped me at thirteen when uncle had tried to pimp me out. Who was I to think one would save me at eighteen?
Better the devil you know, I told myself as I ran back to my uncle.
I don't know what to say to Dayne, so I say nothing.
"Eventually, after nearly a year, I learned that the girl who was crying was the niece-the ward of the alpha of the Merrick pack, and the reason they were there-if only briefly, was because the uncle was in search of a mate for his niece who never left her pack. A niece it didn't take me long to discover was crying that night because she had good reason to. Because there was talk-a lot of talk about how her uncle liked to use her as his punching bag."
I stare at him in horror before surging to my feet.
Years. He said years, and people knew? There were rumors?
"You knew and you left me there?" My voice is a thread of sound.
I turn to leave.
"There were… problems with my pack. Problems that meant searching for you often had to take a backseat to issues I had to deal with. But then I stayed away too long, and I wasn't there when I should have been, and something happened."
I grind to a halt.
His pack. His alpha. The slaughter of his family. That must be what he's talking about, even if it doesn't make sense to me. How could he not have been there when he was the one who-
"I didn't kill them. My family that is." His words are soft, and it's what makes me turn around, though I remain on my feet.
"You're not alone in having an alpha who had problems with control."
Is he saying what he's saying?
"You mean…"
He nods. "The slaughter of my family came first. His death came after."
Gazing into his eyes, I see the truth of it reflected there. Pain too, and not a little trauma. Maybe the power went to his alpha's head and he went crazy-it's been known to happen before. Or maybe he was just born that way. Like Uncle Glynn.
But the reason why doesn't change the fact that his alpha, a man who should have been protecting his pack, instead slaughtered Dayne's sisters, his nieces, and nephews.
We were all wrong. It wasn't Dayne who was the killer; he was the victim.
"What happened?"
Was this my fault? He said he was gone too long. Had he been searching for me when he should have been with his pack? Am I to blame?
Ripping his eyes from mine, he shakes his head as a shutter falls, hiding that brief flash of vulnerability. And then he's back to expressionless, unreadable Dayne again.
"Later. We can talk about it later."
I decide not to push him about it. Especially when guilt is stirring that I'm responsible for him losing his family.
"So, you saw me crying, and you, what? Felt a burning need to rescue me?" My words come out harsh-maybe more than I intend.
Even though I know it's not his fault my uncle hurt me, it's hard to let go of my anger. How do you swallow back something you've been living with all your life?
Dayne continues to gaze up at me with his face a frozen mask.
"I heard your pain. I wanted to ease it. My wolf on the other hand wanted to rip out the throat of the person who'd made you cry."
"By mating with me? And what, if you don't mind me asking, did you give Uncle for him to agree?"
Dayne's expression goes even more guarded. "I'll tell you soon. When it's over."
"When what's over?" But as soon as the last word passes my lips, I realize there are other questions, other things he needs to explain.
And something else. A knowledge-a certainty I see so clearly now, it's a wonder I missed it all this time. The way he treated me. The way I'd catch him eyeing me closely, as if waiting to see how I'd react.
"You were provoking me. Trying to force my wolf out. Why would you do that?"
He flashes a quick grin at me. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already."
"Figured what out?" I ask, trying not to notice how different he looks with a smile on his face instead of the cold, expressionless mask he likes to wear.
"The thing that's been staring you in the face all along, and the thing so obvious everyone sees it but you."
"I don't-"
"You're an alpha," he interrupts.
I stare at him, and then I start laughing. "I'm no alpha. What I am is a broken, half-crazed shifter whose wolf-" I stop. I can't afford to say anymore because I'm venturing perilously close to what I don't want him to know. Already, I may have said too much.
Dayne waits, his eyes glinting, for me to continue, but when I say nothing else, he sighs.
"There is nothing broken or half-crazed about you, Talis. You're an alpha."
"But I'm submissive, I've always been-"
"You don't have a submissive bone in your body, which was clear as day when I saw your reaction to my stealing your towel in the motel. A submissive would have just meekly accepted it. But not you." He snorts. "You're as submissive as I am."
The towel. That's why he… Nope. Now isn't the time for that, not yet.
Shaking my head, I try to make Dayne understand. "No, you're wrong. I've always been a submissive. My wolf is-"
"There is nothing wrong with your wolf."
I don't remind him that my wolf, minutes ago just tried to tear his throat out and before that would have taken great pleasure in doing the same to Savannah. I let my silence and a raised eyebrow do the talking for me.
"Other than when we first met, which, considering my reputation and what you've been through, anyone would have been afraid. But it didn't last. Although you did what I told you to, there was resistance not only in your eyes but in every single line of your body. Did you really think none of us could see?"
My mind takes me back to the day at the lake when Dayne interrupted Regan asking me if I was sure I wasn't an alpha because of my parents. Had she been about to tell me I was? And why would uncle convince me I was a submissive? What would he have to gain by it?
I try to think back over everything that's happened while I've been here. I remember all the times I held onto my control, just barely when Dayne pushed me into doing something, like making him a sandwich or baking him cookies.
And my reaction at being forced to sit by Dayne's feet… I don't think I'd ever come as close to shifting as I did then.
It always enraged my wolf to be told what to do, to be made to do something she didn't want to. Is he seriously saying that all along it was my wolf telling me she didn't like being ordered around?
"You did all that on purpose?"
There were so many times I nearly lost control of myself, and that could have been dangerous for everyone around me. I could have killed someone. Several someones. And this idea he has of me being an alpha is so ridiculous I refuse to believe it.
Me? The whipping girl of the Merrick pack an alpha? No, fucking way.
"Yes."
Not expecting him to admit to it just like that, I blink at him. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Oh, so you would have believed me if I'd sat you down and told you all this time your uncle was deliberately trying to make you think you were submissive when you were an alpha?"
As ever, any mention of my uncle makes me draw back and want to clam up. It's dangerous territory, and I'm happy to never mention him, or think about him ever again.
"Maybe," I mutter, trying to brush off my reaction to Dayne's words.
But Dayne eyes sharpen, telling me he hasn't missed it.
I'm expecting him to push me on it and brace myself, but his next question surprises me.
"Why didn't you tell anyone it's your birthday? And why does it fill your eyes with so much pain I can feel it?"
I take a step back as I harden my expression. "No. You don't get to dodge my questions and then make demands of me."
Unexpectedly, he snags my hand and tugs me down to my knees in front of him. Cupping the side of my face with one hand, he stares deep into my eyes.
"You think I can't guess at least some of what he did to you?" His words are a whisper, but the effect of his words, the look in his eyes, electrifies me.
Although Dayne has managed to do the impossible by stuffing my wolf back inside me, she's left her fury behind, and now it's all I can feel.
Seeing what's in his eyes has me jerking away, ripping myself free.
On my feet, I stare down at him.
"You can keep your pity," I snap. "I don't want it."
As I turn to stalk away, his hand snaps out and grips my ankle. Halting me.
"Let go." My voice is quiet. Too quiet.
"No."
I turn back to face him. "No?" I repeat, my vision sharpening until I'm gazing out through the eyes of my wolf, and she doesn't like to be told no. By anyone. Not anymore.
"I think it's time you remembered what I am-who I am." His voice is quiet too, his eyes narrowing.
I laugh. "How cute."
I don't see it coming, so I don't have even the slightest chance of stopping Dayne when he tugs hard on my ankle, jerking me toward him hard enough for me to fall on top of him. But before I can blink, he has me pinned beneath him.
"There is nothing cute about you fucking submitting to me."
Why am I not surprised Dayne is turning this into about him getting what he wants, namely me treating him like he's God's fucking gift?
Just like a fucking alpha.
"Submitting? You think that's what's about to happen? That I'm about to submit to anyone?"
"I'm not anyone." His response is immediate. Following so closely on the heels of my question, our voices merge.
"No," I tell him.
Dayne shoves a muscled thigh between my legs before I can stop him.
Through gritted teeth, I glare up at him. "So that's it then? You think fucking me will do it? That because I want to fuck you, it means I'm submitting to you?"
Instead of exploding in fury, Dayne regards me thoughtfully.
Then, giving me no warning of what he intends to do, he grabs my wrists and forces my arms above my head.
Before I have a chance to fight, he's transferred my wrists to one hand which he pins to the ground, leaving his right hand free.
He does it all without seeming to expel any energy at all. And while his strength should terrify me, the only emotion running through me is pure unbridled rage.
"That's one kind of submission, yes."
Then he lifts his upper body, still leaving me pinned beneath him, and uses a claw to slice open the front of my t-shirt.
Feeling the barest graze of the sharp tip against my breast, I can't control my shiver, and his lips curve in the barest hint of a smile. Seeing it, I force myself to still, to harden my expression. I am not about to make this easy for him.
"But there are others," he continues in the same conversational tone, ignoring my death glare. "We will get to those in time. But right now, we begin with the body. Your body begging for mine."
"If you think for one fucking second-"
Dayne lowers his head and covers my mouth with his.
I bite his lower lip.
Hard.
I taste the coppery tang of his blood in my mouth, but he doesn't draw away. No, he does something I never would have expected him to do.
I'm used to him tormenting me with his tongue. I'm braced for hard, demanding kisses that make me want to rub myself against him. But this new kiss unbalances me. Catches me completely unaware.
It's a kiss I never thought a guy like Dayne would have in his arsenal. The slow, coaxing kind. The kind that's sweet and takes its time getting to where it's going. Decadent and self-indulgent.
I sink into it. But it's not enough. I want more.
Crave it.
This time it isn't Dayne plunging his tongue into mine, eager to dominate my mouth. It's me flicking my tongue into his as my body softens.
But when he takes the very tip of my tongue and sucks on it, contentment disappears under a wave of electric need.
I wrap my legs around him so his erection presses firmly against me, even as I struggle to break the grip he has on my wrists so I can touch him.
Dayne doesn't react to my desperate move.
Instead, he continues to kiss me as if he could go on kissing me forever. As if we're not lying on the dirt in a forest clearing as night sets in.
With a gentle touch I barely feel, he brushes my shirt to the side and with the very edge of his sharp claw, draws a circle around my nipple, making me shudder.
By now, it isn't hard to see how this is going to go.
Making a desperate sound, I wrench my head to the side. Breaking our kiss.
Lifting his head, Dayne gazes down at me with his lips bloodied.
Neither of us speaks. The only sound is our unsteady breathing.
The tension between us is palpable. And the air is heavy and full of want, desires, need. Both his and mine.
When he lowers his head again, desperation grips me as I fight.
Reaching for my wolf proves useless. Maybe it's because I shifted too recently to change again, or maybe my wolf enjoys Dayne's touch as much as I do, I don't know. In either case, I'm on my own.
I don't know how I do it, but I break Dayne's hold on my wrist and roll, thinking of nothing else except escaping the very real possibility he's going to kiss me into submission. And even worse, I'll end up begging, just like he threatened.
Only, I end up in a far worse position.
I'm on my front, intending to crawl out from under Dayne when he uses his hips to pin me down. But then hard length of his cock slips between the seam of my ass and for one heart-stopping second, the tip of him presses at the entrance of my sex.
I make a breathless sound and freeze.
"I don't think you thought this through, did you, baby?" He sounds amused by this new position, how he's got me right where he wants me, only there's a tension to his voice that tells me he's not as unaffected as he pretends. That he wants this as much as I do.
At least, I think he does.
But what if I can get him to submit to me?
The thought, soft and sly, silences me just as I'm poised to snap at Dayne. Is it me thinking this, or is this my wolf? This alpha side of me that Dayne is so sure I have?
"Talis," Dayne sounds suspicious by my sudden stillness, "what-"
Arching my back, I shift below him, so the tip of him sinks a little deeper into me.
His breath punches out of him and his hands lock tight around my waist, holding me still. Then lifting my head, as I swallow down a moan at how good it felt-how good it still feels to have Dayne pressed flush against me, and peer over my shoulder.
"Let me up," I tell him.
His hands tighten and his eyes narrow. "Not going to happen. I want-"
"-You asked me to tell you what I wanted before," I interrupt. Reminding him of the time he nearly fucked me against the tree beside the lake. The only reason he didn't was because of Luka's interruption.
Now it's his turn to still, as his eyes flash silver.
"I want to be on top, with your tongue in my mouth when I come."
If I thought Dayne was hard before, it's nothing compared to how he feels pressed against me now.
"What did you say?" he growls, his erection twitching against me.
"You heard me. Let me up."
He lets me up.
But, as if he doesn't wholly trust me, which, if my need wasn't clawing so desperately at me, would be the smart thing to do, he rolls and shifts.
He has me in his lap facing him before I can even think of taking advantage of his loose hold to make a break for it.
But I'm in no rush to go anywhere.
Sitting in his lap, Dayne's eyes are curious as if he's waiting to see what I'll do. Since he's always been the one to initiate sex, the one who dominates in the bedroom, his curiosity doesn't surprise me.
It's never been because I'm not attracted to him. I always have been. No, it's fear that he would laugh at me or reject me because he can have someone like Savannah, and I'm just… me.
But he thinks I'm pretty. He called me pretty.
Never mind it was the middle of the night when he first saw me, but that must mean he's attracted to me a little. That he must want me. Now to show him I want him, but how?
How can I convince him I'm not playing? That I'm serious?
My eyes move to his jaw, and his growing beard.
Slipping the remains of Dayne's shirt off my shoulders, I lean closer and circle my legs around his waist. Then, just as I did at the lake, I rub my cheek against his jaw, feeling the prickling of his new growth against my skin.
Dayne's hands are hot as he slides them up to my back before he groans as he lowers his head to rest on my right shoulder.
It doesn't make sense to me why Dayne seems to like me doing this so much. Maybe it was my way of rubbing against him since it was something my wolf never did with his, I don't know.
But his reaction is always the same. He draws me closer against him as if to prevent me from stopping.
So, this time, I don't. I rub one side of his jaw with my cheek before turning to the other side, taking my time with it. And when he buries his hands in my hair, holding me against him, I replace my cheek with my lips.
I inhale the clean scent of his skin as I kiss and nibble at his jaw, gently rocking against his jean-clad hardness until the need for more, the need for him to fill me becomes too much for me to ignore.
I rise to my knees and reach between us to unzip him. He shifts me and I feel him jerking at his jeans, shoving them down and out of the way.
Then I'm grasping him in my hand, stroking the hard length of him because I need to touch him again, need to feel him. His lips brush against mine and I smile because I can feel his harsh breaths against me, I can taste his desire, his want for more because of what I'm doing to him. Because it's me making him feel this way.
But he's not the only one hungering for more.
I need him inside me. Now.
Releasing my grip from his straining cock, I stare into Dayne's eyes as I sink down on him. His hands grip my hips, his eyes burning with lust, and with one firm thrust he's buried to the hilt, making us both groan.
Once he's deep inside me, I squeeze my eyes shut and rest my forehead against Dayne's, locking my legs around him, as for a second, I just let myself breathe until I don't feel so full to bursting with him.
Feeling an urge greater than my need to rock against Dayne sneak up on me, I peel my eyelids open and stare at his throat. And then I lean closer, nuzzling him, and in the place that mirrors where he bit me, I lap at the spot.
The effect on Dayne is instantaneous. His growl is low, guttural, full of need, and the hands he has clamped around my hips squeeze me so tight, I gasp in surprise.
His voice is laced with concern. "Shit, are you-"
"I want to bite you," I murmur against his throat, talking over him. "Here."
I stroke my tongue against the spot, and Dayne trembles hard against me. "Do it."
Sliding my hands up his arms and over his shoulders, I wriggle against him as the need to move grows more urgent.
"Talis. Fucking do it. Bite me." He jerks me hard against him, and with my body wrapped so tight around him, I feel him harden. Throbbing inside me.
Nuzzling him again, I touch him with the tip of my tongue. Dayne's swear is harsh, loud in my ear.
"Do it. Fucking-"
I bite down, and Dayne throws his head back in a roar.
Between one breath and the next, I go from sitting in Dayne's lap to laying flat on my back with him thrusting so hard and fast into me, it's all I can do to hold on to him.
My bite has unleashed a wildness in him I've never seen before, or ever imagined he possessed. All his control, his expressionless mask, ripped away.
His eyes are barely human, and seeing the harshness on his face, his fingers cutting into my hips as he pins me down and fucks me with furious intensity, throws me into my first climax.
But he doesn't slow down, and my fingers, curved into claws, grab at him, dig into his skin as he rides me. Again I come, less intense than the first, but still with a violence that leaves me gasping, and then he's ripping his body away, turning to put me on my hands and knees before he's ramming back into me.
Crying out as he continues to work his cock inside me, my fingers clutch at the ground as I jerk back again and again to meet his thrusts. I'm gasping for breath, needing to come again but not sure I have anything left when Dayne reaches around me and rubs his fingers firmly against the hidden bundle of nerves, which sends me skittering into another climax.
And still, he doesn't slow.
Finally, my arms give out and I sink to the earth, even as Dayne's grip on my hips keeps me on my knees. Pillowing my head on one arm, I turn my head around because I need to see Dayne's face.
I have to know he feels this as intensely as I do.
On his knees, with the light of the moon spilling over him, his muscles contract and relax as he jerks my body back to meet his.
A snarl of desperate concentration twists his lips, but his eyes as he stares down into my face as if no one or nothing exists at this moment except me…
My breath catches. "Dayne," I choke.
And then he's leaning over me, one hand curling around the nape of my neck, pinning me to the ground. He draws his hips back, and then with a harsh roar, he slams into me so hard I scream and writhe against him as he floods me with his heat.
Gasping, his body comes down on mine, and yet his hips are still moving. As he continues to thrust almost helplessly against me, each new tremor makes me shudder until it becomes too much and I sink into an exhausted doze.
It's fully dark when I open my eyes and find Dayne's shifted us onto our sides, and that he's still buried deep inside me. I shift a little, not enough for him to slip out, but so I can see him better.
Smoothing the sweat-dampened hair from my face, he gazes down at me for a long moment before bending to press his lips against mine in a searing kiss.
It's a brand, and I can taste the possessiveness in it, even if I couldn't feel it in the arm he has slung around my waist, holding me flush against him.
"You okay?" he murmurs against my lips, looking more relaxed, more content, and satisfied than I've ever seen a man look before.
Nodding, I lift my hand to his face, brushing his jaw.
"I didn't mean to be so rough." His kiss is softer now, tender. An apology.
"You lost control."
His forehead creases before he drops another searing kiss on my lips as if he can't stop kissing me. "I didn't realize what your bite would do to me. I think I bruised you."
I'm sure he hasn't emerged unscathed since I have a distinct memory of unsheathing my claws to hold onto him.
Fighting back a yawn, I wriggle against him and feel him hardening inside me. "It was really hot," I whisper.
Easing his head back, he blinks down at me in surprise. "What?"
"You losing control like that. It was really hot." Reaching up, I use his jaw to bring his face back to me, and this time it's me doing the branding.
"I want you again," I murmur against his lips once I've finally found the strength to draw away from him.
He doesn't need to be told twice.
After one last lingering kiss, he shifts me onto my side so we're back to spooning, and then he starts thrusting with one arm still curved around my front, and I grip tightly onto it as I rock back to meet him, moaning at how good it feels.
How right.
"God, I could live right here. Inside you, forever." He presses his lips against my mate bite, and I feel my inner muscles clenching tight around him when he does.
I feel his lips curve into a smile. "Especially when you do that," he groans.
This time he barely eases out, but because he's buried so deep inside me, he touches the very end of me with each thrust.
My release this time is a slow ripple of pleasure, making me sigh in contentment instead of want to scream. And when I feel him tense and jerk inside me, I twist my head around and desperately seek his lips, swallowing his groan as he shudders against me.