Chapter 65

*Jake*

I am speechless as an array of emotions courses through my body. Anger, relief, fear, self doubt, elation, and I am sure some I to which I cannot even put a name. Anger that she would dare refer to herself as a bitch. Did she not know that she was so much more to me? Relief that she was not kicking me out the door or even saying that she wanted us to ‘take a break’. Fear and self doubt that I could not give her that picket fence and family to which she referred. But overall I am feeling so much elation over her admission of love. I had prepared for several different outcomes tonight but never did I expect this declaration and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do with it.

I look up and see the devastated expression on Payton’s face and it guts me. Her chin is wobbling and her eyes are ready to overflow. Oh, fuck no. I cannot let her think for another second that I do not feel the same. I take her face between both of my hands and kiss her long and deep. I try to express my love and gratitude for her while reining in my passion.

When I finally pull away from her, I wipe the stray tears away with my thumbs, refusing to let go of her beautiful face. “Oh Pay, I love you too. So fucking much babe.” I go back in for another kiss, this one clearly showing my desire for her.

I become aware of her trying to pull back and fear I may have pushed her too much, too soon. To my surprise however, she stands and takes my hand. She is leading me to her bedroom. As we pass the kitchen I make a feeble protest.

“What about the food?” I ask, more to slow her down and give her the chance to be sure this is what she wants more so than because I am hungry.

“I don’t give a fuck about the food,” she says, surprising me. I then realize she has thrown my own words back in my face and I laugh.

When we get to her room, she hesitates at the threshold. “We don’t need to do this Pay.” I assure her. “You have been through a lot. I understand if you want to take it slower.”

She shakes her head. “No Jake. I need to forget. I need you to help me forget.” With that she starts unbuttoning my shirt. I stand there with my hands lightly touching her waist, allowing her to do what she has to do. When she gets a few buttons loose, she leans in and begins to kiss my chest. It takes everything to keep my hands where they are but I am smart enough to know she needs this. She needs to be the one in control.

By the time she gets to the button on my jeans, I am trembling with need. I am usually the one doing the undressing in our relationship. While this is not the first time a woman has taken control, it’s the first time it has ever had such an impact on me. I care about what she thinks as she strips me of my clothing. I want her to desire what she sees, the way I desire her. I use one hand under her chin to tilt her head up to me. The look of pure lust I see in her eyes tells me that she does desire me, very much. I bend down and take her mouth roughly and it spurs her on. Her tongue delves deep into my mouth and she pulls away only to bite my bottom lip before she dives back in.

It is not until she pushes me backward onto her bed that I realize my shirt is totally off and she has my jeans down around my bare ass. My cock is at attention, heavy and ready for her. She is leaning over me now, her hair a curtain around us and I can’t help but breathe deeply just to get that familiar scent of her. I slide my hands under her sweater and she allows me to do so, moaning as my hands cup her breasts. In a flash her sweater is gone and I honestly have no idea who took it off, me or her.

“Fuck Payton, I missed you,” I manage to get out before taking one of her lace covered breasts into my mouth. She allows me to pleasure her for several minutes, moving from one side to the other.

She pulls away and sits up over me again, a leg on either side of mine. Her hair is tousled, her lips red, nipples stiff peaks under the now wet cups of her bra. She swings one leg off me and I try to pull her back.

She smiles at me and using her hands she motions for me to move further up on her bed. I comply instantly, becoming aware that my pants are still half off. I start to take them the rest of the way down but she stops me.

“Don’t,” she commands. Fuck this side of Payton is as sexy as hell.

I watch, breathing like a virginal teen as she unhooks her bra and lets it drop to the floor. Then she is shimmying out of her jeans and as I see the red lace panties she is wearing under them I almost come right then. Then those too are on the floor with the rest of her clothing.

She climbs onto the bed, again straddling my legs, though further down this time. She taps my thighs motioning for me to lift. As I do so, she peels my jeans down my legs and throws them to the side. She is looking at me intently as she does this. Her eyes never leave mine, even as she removes my socks. Who knew removing socks could be such a turn on?

My cock twitches and she can’t help but laugh. Leaning down, she licks the tip and smiles down at it. “I missed you too,” she whispers. Making me laugh, something I never did while in bed with any other woman but I do it a lot with Payton. The humor dies a quick death as she tugs on my barbell before taking the head of my cock in her mouth and moving to engulf the shaft.

I have to pull her up. “Pay, baby, no,” I beg her. A confused look flashes through her eyes. “I need to be inside you.” She raises an eyebrow as if to say, well what do you call that. “I need to feel your hot pussy, your juices. I need to be part of you.”

She obliges and scoots up my legs, spreading hers wide as she lowers herself onto my cock. Our eyes lock as I hold her there for what seems like forever. Just savoring the feeling of being inside her. Home. This is where I am meant to spend the rest of my life. All my doubts leave me as she begins to lift up before lowering herself back down.

No, not home, I think. Heaven.