Chapter 63

*Jake*

It’s been ten days since Payton has been back at Melissa’s. How do I know this? Not because I have been there, that’s for sure. The day she arrived home I got a text message from her stating she was doing okay, glad to be home but that she was not ready to see anyone. Of course, I knew through Luke that Kara and Melissa were both there with her. So, really what that meant was that she wasn’t ready to see me.

What does that mean? Are we over? I have picked up the phone a million times to call her but I hold back. I know she needs time to heal but mostly it is because I am afraid of what she will say when we do speak. That doesn’t mean I haven't reached out to her. I’ve sent her meals, flowers, cards, just little “I’m thinking of you” gifts so that she will know, well, that I am thinking of her.

I’ve seen her as well. Not that she is aware of it. I admit, I have been following her when I get a chance. I know that she has been to see a therapist several times, which is good. She is dealing with her experience. She has also been visited by a female cop and another who I later learned was Dean’s brother. I was not happy about that at first but he did save her from Dean, so I have to give him that.

I am currently sitting in my office above the clubhouse looking over a security contract and deciding if I want to do this myself or hand it off to one of my independent contractors. I know I have to keep busy but I don’t want to be busy or worse yet, out of town should Payton finally be willing to see me.

My phone pings, indicating a text message. I look down immediately and my heart stops. It’s Payton. ‘Can we talk?’ God, this doesn’t look good. Wouldn’t she call me if she wanted to pick up where we left off? Is she going to tell me goodbye?

I take a deep breath and respond. ‘Where and when?’ I watch as those aggravating little dots show up and disappear and finally show up again.

‘Come over to Melissa’s at 7. We'll have dinner.’ I blanch at this. Is Payton cooking because she is not the cook in this relationship. But at this point I will eat crackers if that is what she wants to feed me.

‘I’ll be there.’ I respond and look at the clock. Jesus, it’s only 3:30. I’m going to go out of my mind before it’s even time to leave. I decided to assign this job to one of my men and head to the gym for a workout.

I’m back at the apartment by 5:30 after working out at the gym and going for a run. It is still too early but I head to the shower and take an extra long time shaving and getting ready to go see Payton. I’d say I feel like I am going to my prom but I never had that experience so all I can do is guess that this is what it must feel like for most 17 year old boys. I’m a ball of nerves and I don’t like it one bit.

As I exit my room I hear Luke in the kitchen, so I head there. His back is to me but he lifts his head in the air and inhales deeply. “I smell a clean and deodorized Jake. Must be something big going on.”

I can’t help but grin at the saying Luke has always used on me since I was a teenager. He turns and gives me a once over from head to toe, then raises his brow in question.

“Payton messaged. She wants me to go over there for dinner and to talk.” I swallow hard at that last part.

“Ah, that is why Melissa messaged me to see if I would like to go out to dinner with her. I assume you’re due at their house around 7?” He asks.

I nod in agreement. So, we have the house to ourselves. Is this a good thing or bad thing?

“Don’t look so terrified Jake. That girl has as much love for you as you do for her. Anyone can see it,” he assures me. “You just may need to take things a little slower. Approach things with a little more caution than normal.”

I push my hands through my hair. “Fuck, I’ve been doing just that and I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

Luke gives me a pointed look. “You will continue it for as long as necessary. You can’t let that one get away Jake, it will wreck you.” I can’t help but wonder if losing Melissa’s mother wrecked him. I’ve never known him to spend more than a night with a woman. Now that I have a taste of being with someone you have an emotional involvement with, a connection as they say, I can’t imagine going back to meaningless sex.

I look at the clock on the stove and Luke follows my line of sight. It is still only a little after six o’clock. Luke takes the tea towel off his shoulder and balls it up. He throws it at me as he says, “I’m sure she won’t mind if you are early. Go get your girl, Jake.”

I take the long way to Melissa’s house, trying to kill time. It is still not seven when I get there, so I sit on my bike in her driveway. Melissa walks out shaking her head.

“Go on, Jake. I could see the smoke coming out of your ears from inside the house.” She must notice the trepidation on my face. She leans in and kisses me on the check, “you've got this cuz.” Then she gets in her car and dives away. Cuz, I could get used to that.

I climb off my bike and walk tentatively to the front door. Before I get a chance to knock, Payton opens the door and I get weak at the knees. God, will there ever be a time when I look at her and my heart doesn’t skip a beat? She is dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a sweater that hangs off one of her shoulders and it is the sexiest outfit I have ever seen. I am imagining kissing that shoulder and working my way over to those luscious tits of hers, when I hear a throat clear. My eyes shoot up to hers and I see the heat there. Oh yah, she knows what I was thinking.

She motions for me to come on in and I do as she shuts the door behind me. I take a seat on the couch, as I don’t smell anything cooking. “Sorry I’m a little early,” I apologize.

She smiles weakly. “That’s okay. The food hasn’t arrived yet.” Awe, she is not cooking. “Would you like a beer while we wait?” She asks.

“Sure,” I responded. But what I really wanted to say was no, I just want to know what you are thinking. What do you want to talk to me about?

She returns with my favorite beer and a glass of wine for herself. My favorite beer, now that is a good sign. She wouldn’t buy beer for me if she was planning to end it would she? She sits on the opposite side of the couch from me so that there is space for a person or two between us. I don’t know what to make of that. She is not next to me but she is not across the room either.

Payton takes a long drink from her glass, almost draining it and places the glass on the coffee table. She turns towards me, looks me straight in the eye and says, “Jake, I need to be totally honest with you. I…” The doorbell rings. Son of a bitch!