No power over the situation
Ashley
They're gone, and I was left staring into space. I knew Marco was about to follow me, but he stopped when he heard Ashlyn groaning and chose to stay with her instead. I understood that he was worried about the baby and my twin, but I couldn’t help feeling hurt. I knew then and there that I’d be nothing more than a second option once the baby was born.
I went to my room and sulked, waiting for them to return. Even now, I could already feel the pain of the baby’s arrival. If only I were pregnant, too, but I wasn’t. Instead of writing, I let fear, anxiety, and self-pity consume me. Questions started filling my mind. Questions I couldn’t answer, or maybe I just didn’t want to.
Two weeks after the incident, I decided to leave the house.
“Ash, I’m going out,” I told my twin, who was in the living room.
“Huh? Where are you going?” she asked, glancing at her wristwatch. “It’s almost lunchtime. Why don’t you eat first so you won’t have to spend money outside?”
“No need. I’m going to my condo. I’ll just grab some food from a nearby fast-food place.”
“Alright, it’s up to you.” She smiled, so I smiled back. “Be careful, and don’t stay out too late. There are a lot of creeps out there.”
“Okay, Sis. Thanks.”
I left the house and hailed an e-bike passing by. These vehicles had a designated queue outside the subdivision and were approved by the homeowners' association for safety. Since I wanted to get to my condo quickly, I chose to ride instead of commuting. I skipped the fast-food stop and decided to just have food delivered like I usually did.
Since my first visit, I have been coming here more often. Marco already knew my address; once, he even picked me up so we could go home together. But that was also the last time we were alone because the moment we got home, Ashlyn would always look for him.
This morning, before Marco left, I told him I’d be here today. That’s why I was expecting him to show up any time. Feeling excited, I keyed in my password, but just as I opened the door, I jumped in shock when someone spoke behind me.
“I knew I’d see you today,” said the man I met the first time I came here.
“Sorry, but I really don’t know you. I had anesthesia when I was hospitalized, and it made me forget a lot of things.”
“Wow, Ash.”
“I’m not joking, so please stop bothering me. I really don’t remember you,” I said seriously, without a hint of a smile.
“Do you have amnesia or something?” he asked. “I’m Sandro. We didn’t have a label, but we did… intimate things.”
“What?” I asked in shock. Why would I agree to something like that? I wasn’t crazy. Even though I couldn’t remember everything, I knew I wouldn’t do something like that. I mean, with Marco, at least we had a relationship, even if I was just the other woman. But doing that with someone I wasn’t even in a relationship with? I don’t think so.
“Why do you look so shocked?” He looked confused, but no.
“Because I know myself, I wouldn’t do things like that. I would only believe it if I loved you. But without feelings? No way.”
“So, you think I’m lying? Do you really think I’d come here, knowing you have amnesia or something, and make up a story like this if it wasn’t true?”
He had a point. But I still couldn’t accept that I did something like that with him. Was I really that desperate? Was I really that much of a flirt that I even had an affair with my twin’s husband?
“I don’t know. But don’t come near me again. I have no plans to continue whatever we had before. Excuse me.”
I quickly went inside my unit and collapsed onto the sofa, which I had thoroughly cleaned before using. I had removed layers of dust during my second visit. I looked around my unit and sighed deeply. I was starting to wonder if I should still stay here because of that guy?
I still couldn’t accept that I had done something like that. Shaking my head, I grabbed my phone and texted Marco. I didn’t want to wait for him to “surprise” me.
Ashley: I’m in my condo already. Are you available to come later?
I waited a few moments before getting a reply.
Marco: Okay, sweetheart. I’m coming now.
That made me smile.
Ashley: I’ll see you then. I love you.
Marco: I love you too.
I started scrolling through food delivery options, making sure to order something for both of us since I was sure he hadn’t eaten yet. I wanted to time the order so the food would still be hot when he arrived.
Then, a message popped up.
Marco: Sweetheart, I’ll be a bit late. I need to stop by the house first.
It felt like the world came crashing down on me. Maybe Ashlyn had asked him to buy something again. I needed to reply.
Ashley: That’s okay. Drive safe. I love you.
Marco: Thanks. I love you, too.
I set my phone down on the table. I lost my appetite. I didn’t even bother thinking about Marco anymore because I knew Ashlyn would feed him. He wouldn’t be able to say no to her.
Leaning back on the sofa, I closed my eyes, hoping to stop my tears. But I couldn’t. They fell like a waterfall, accompanied by muffled sobs that grew louder as I lost the strength to hold them back.
The pain was unbearable. Before, I could handle it. But now? I didn’t know anymore. It hurt so much to realize that no matter what I did, I had no power over this situation. And knowing that I wasn’t his priority only made it worse.
I let the tears flow until there was nothing left. I had to accept that since Ashlyn announced her pregnancy, Marco’s attention had been split three ways. And I was always the last in line.
I calmed myself down and decided to focus on work instead. I completely forgot about food, and time passed without me noticing. It was already nighttime when I decided to go home, even though my heart felt heavy.
I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, by the time I reached the mansion. Maybe I’d fall asleep right away.
But when I walked inside, the first thing I saw was Marco and Ashlyn hugging. Whatever pain I felt earlier was nothing compared to what I felt now.
“Swee—I mean, Ashley!” Marco blurted out when he saw me.
The pain was unbearable. Before I could break down in front of them, I quickly excused myself and headed upstairs.
“I’m a bit tired, so I’ll rest now.” I had no idea how I managed to sound so composed, but I never looked back once I turned my back on them.
“Hey, Sissy, what’s going on?” I heard my twin ask, but I ignored her.
I didn’t want to see her.
Especially not Marco, the man who couldn’t even send me a single text all day while I was waiting for him.