Chapter 83 - The Right Choice

Vanessa.

“How are you feeling today?" In truth, I feel a lot of things. I finally got the freedom I was looking for but it does not feel so. Is it freedom when you constantly long for the person you ran away from? Is it freedom when you cannot get your mind off him? Is it freedom when you keep questioning if you made the right choice to leave? Is it freedom when you keep looking out the window with the hope that he is out there waiting to take you with him?

“I am doing well enough." I can hardly bring myself to eat the food in front of me. The plate is full of the things I love but I can't look at it.

“You know you have to eat for the baby." Her familiar grey eyes look from me to the plate in front of me. She is the same woman from the bathroom who reached out to me for Warren. She seemed creepy before but she is very loving and beautiful. They told me that she was his mother but she looks more like his sister with her striking looks, lush blonde hair, and elegant demeanor.

I pick up the glass of pineapple juice and drink from it “I am eating."

She reaches out to touch my hand “You know, you made the right choice leaving. The best way for you to have helped him is to save yourself and your baby."

“I know." But I miss him too. He does not know where I am. God knows I am going crazy being away from him. Does he long for me the way I do? Does he miss me half this much?

The first day we arrived here, in Wyoming, I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't bring myself to eat or do anything. For the first few days, I kept questioning myself, and I a constant urge to go back to him.

“I know I did right choosing my baby. His life is full of violence. So much bloodshed. Constant retaliation. I did not want that for my child. I do not want my child to inherit enemies he did nothing to. I want him to have a life of his own. Friends of his own. I don't want him to live in the shadow of a father that he would always have to prove something to." She takes her hand away from mine.

“I don't know how to respond to that. Have you thought about the fact that he probably didn't choose this life for himself?"

“I know he didn't which is why I have to make this choice for his child before it's too late and he is stuck." The topic is starting to weigh on the aura so I change it. “You never told me about Warren's father. Is he still alive?"

She looks visibly shaken when I ask but she is quick to tuck it away “He is alive. But he isn't in the picture. He is a very bad person. I did not have a choice in a lot of things concerning him." She sounds sad talking about him and I don't push her to tell me anything. He was probably abusive, so she might not want to relive her past.

“We are back! Two weeks here and we are already pretty popular." Diana says tossing me the pack of strawberries I asked for.

“More like he is popular." Tianna points at Hayden. “He is constantly brooding but people seem to dig that. We did not pay for a lot of things because he was with us."

“Which is why we will keep inviting him to the market."

Hayden grabs a bottle of water, grumbles something under his breath, and leaves the room. He has been like this since we got here. I think he is the only one apart from me who finds it hard to adjust to being here. The only reason he is here is because he does not trust Warren one bit. It does make me feel safe to know that he isn't far away.

“He still needs time to get used to all of this. I'm gonna go talk to him." I get up to leave the room after him. I see him sitting under a tree so I go join him. He turns when I sit next to him.

“You don't like it here." It's not a question.

“Do you?"

“He did not leave me with any choice, Hayden. I had to do what was best for the baby."

“He could have protected you himself."

“We both know he couldn't have. He wasn't there when Charles came to get me. He was not there when the explosion happened. He was there when the accident happened but he could not have done anything about it."

“But..."

“He told me nothing when I kept asking. He lied and made me feel crazy when he did speak."

“Do you really trust that they want to keep you safe? We hardly know them but they claim they want to keep you safe. It is still a lot to comprehend."

“Well, I'm glad that you are here. I feel safe."

“You were adamant about leaving. I knew I could not change your mind so I came with you. I cannot trust them with you. And Dimitri would have killed me if he found out that I saw you and let you leave with them. I cannot lie to him and I would not be able to live with myself if anything happened to you."

“I wonder what is going through his head right now."

“He probably has a lot of names on his kill list and I am at the bottom of that list. He had no idea why I left so he'll jump to his conclusions."

“He would never hurt you."

“Because of you, he will burn the earth. I'm counting on the text I sent him. I'm sorry by the way."

I cannot believe he did this “You sent him a text?! Why would you do that?!"

“Calm down. I sent it through that burner phone. He cannot trace it but he'll know you're safe."

It is probably for the best that he knows I am fine.

“What are you guys still talking about? Is he still heartbroken about leaving Dimitri? You could always go back."

“Stupid bitch! You will die of boredom if I leave."

“I have the girls and Warren to keep me company. You're not as important as you think."

“And who will get you all the freebies and discounts from all those women."

“I knew you enjoyed the attention." Diana retorts “So what is next after this. After you have the baby. You barely have two months before the baby comes."

“I don't know yet. I have not thought that far." I know the questions they want to ask. The words the want to say. The answers they want to know but I also don't know how to answer it. Am I going back home? Will I return to Dimitri? Only time can answer those questions.

“I have a confession to make." Tianna announces as she sits on the grass. “I have been holding it in for too long because I did not know how to tell you guys but..."

“Are you pregnant?! Did Carter get you pregnant?" Diana blurts. My eyes go to her belly immediately and I give her a questioning look. Since when? “How far along are you?"

“Did he not accept it? Is he denying it? Don't worry we'll take..."

“Can you all shut up and let me speak? That is not it. Well, I don't think so..." Her face goes red.

“What the hell is you don't think so? You guys have been doing the nasty. I want details..."

“I should go inside. You need the privacy to talk and I don't need to hear about Carter's sex life." He gets up to leave but Diana pulls him back down and glares at him.

“It was a mistake. We went on that trip to Vegas and we were drunk and one thing led to the other and we...we got married."

The glass in my hand falls to the floor. You could hear a pin drop to the grass in the silence. I am not exaggerating—maybe I am, just a tiny bit– the birds have gone silent, the trees probably stopped moving too. That's how shocked the whole world is.

“I did not hear you correctly. I thought I heard you say married?"

“I did. Is that more shocking than being pregnant?"

“When? How?" We are unable to get our thoughts together “I just told you. He wanted to take me somewhere, so we went to Vegas because of this one show that I saw. We gambled and won a lot and partied with other people, then we got drunk from all the celebrations and that was it."

“Are you sure it was Carter, the Emperor of Playboy's?" Hayden asks unable to mask his shock.

“Yes. I vaguely recall him promising me the world and I spoke my mind. I told him I didn't trust him because everyone is aware of his reputation, then he practically carried me to get a marriage license to prove that he would do anything for me and we got married. I did not ask him for it but I also didn't say no."

“Wow! I get to take over as the King of the ladies now that he's taken. Finally!" Diana useds a plastic cup to hit the back of his head.

“Is that all you got from this?"

“That's a lot to take in. That's what you have been hiding. Why didn't you tell us?"

“I told you I didn't plan for things to go this far. I thought it was going to end in time. I couldn't bring myself to tell you that I had foolishly, and drunkenly married the guy I told you I could not trust."

“So what are you gonna do about it?"

“I told him I wanted a divorce but he kept declining. I told him we were not in our senses when we did it but he does not care. He only cares that I said I do. I don't know what else to say to him."

“Have you tried to consider the fact that he might have feelings for you and really means to give this relationship a trial? Carter would never allow a woman hold him down. He must have wanted it if he keeps contesting the divorce." Hayden defends Carter maybe because he's friends with him but Carter's past is hard for her to ignore.

“I don't know what to think. But I'm glad I finally came clean and told you guys."

“Well, congratulations. You should get used to being his wife because he's not gonna be letting you go anywhere."

We go back into the house after a few more hours and dinner is ready. Warren is not home because he had to get back to work but his mother is here and she makes for good company. I go back to my room to sleep but I take out that picture just like I always do.

“What is that you got?" Marie points at the picture in my hand and walks to my bed.

“It is the only picture from his childhood. It's him with his mother but her face does not show."

“Did you meet her?"

“No. Not even when I still worked for him. She died when he was young. They said it was suicide. I feel bad for her."

“Why would you feel bad for a woman who's dead? One you did not know."

I use my hands to support myself to sit up “I heard stories about her. About how beautiful she was. But she wasn't loved by her husband because he had given his heart to another woman. She must have suffered a lot."

“So you think the other woman ruined her marriage?"

“Not exactly. There wasn't love in the first place. I was told that he had to marry her for duty and not love and that he had already started a family with someone else. It's sad that she was so young and forced into a lifetime of unhappiness. They could have let her fall in love but a lot of people are more about empires than love. I wish they had done better to help her and I wish she could have run away instead of choosing death."

“Some people would say that death is an escape."

“An escape to where though? We do not exactly think about life after death. There is a lot she would have done of she had stayed and maybe divorced his ass and found love elsewhere. Her death broke him." As I turn to look at her she looks uncomfortable and her eyes are glassy. “Sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable."

“You are not. Why is he in so much pink?"

I laugh at her question. “He said his mother wanted a baby girl, so she would dress him up in a lot of pink. I think that's why he hates the color. He was traumatized." We both laugh at it.

“He was a beautiful child."

“I agree. He still is. His face does not change except that he is now mature and angrier."

“I'm gonna leave you to sleep now. Don't stay up too late. Good night." She says as she shuts the door.

“Good night!" I look at the picture till I fall asleep.