Chapter 165 A Worthy Distraction

Chapter 165 A Worthy Distraction
~Jeremy’s POV~

The shower ran hot, scalding at first, then settling into the kind of warmth that should have been calming. But nothing about me felt calm. I didn’t call her. I couldn’t. Not when I didn’t know what to expect from her words.

Guilt coiled in my chest sharply. What if she had regretted last night? What if she had woken up feeling bad about it? It would have been easier if she had woken me up to confront me than the gnawing ache that came with knowing she left without letting me into her thoughts.

I rubbed at my face under the spray, letting the water rinse everything down the drain—the heat, the sweat, the anger, the frustration, and yet…not the guilt. God, I hated that she had left. I must have slept too deeply to not have sensed her leaving.

Maybe I should have controlled myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have…taken things too far with her last night. My mind kept circling, latching onto the image from the club—the way that guy had been close to her, whispering in her ear, hands grazing her hips. Heck, he was going to kiss her. I couldn’t stand it. I never had been able to.

I’d grown attached to her in a way I couldn’t fully explain. She wasn’t just someone I wanted- Teyana was part of me now, a piece of me I didn’t want anyone else to touch, unless it was in the platonic sense.

I stepped out, water dripping from my hair, and imagined catching sight of her returning to my room. In my head, she moved quietly, stopped before me, and smiled, then told me we are meant to be.

Cheesy enough, but I wished my imagination were true. A part of me had even thought the intense sex would calm her and bring her head back to me. Turned out it wasn’t enough.

Now, I felt totally bad.

I finally mustered the courage to pick up my phone and try her contact, but to my surprise- The call bounced. My heart dropped like a stone in my chest. Did she block me? My fingers clenched. I grabbed my other phone and dialed her her with a number of mine she didn’t have. The call got through. It did. 

She answered it. “Hello?”

I opened my mouth…but nothing left it. I had a feeling she would end the call if she realized it was me. So I ended it myself. I felt like a coward, but it wasn’t time to sulk anymore. I had to let her think, breathe, exist without me. When she was ready, she would come back. And when she did, I would tell her everything about Rebecca—but only when she was ready to hear it.

I already hated that I was now perceived as a burden in her life. Carol had made it worse. I had almost hated her for spilling to Teyana that way. Yet, I had mentally forced myself to understand that she was only trying to protect her friend. That was the kind of friend I needed for Teyana. Only that I was at the unfair receiving end this time around.

I sank into the bed, pressing my face into the pillow, my thoughts wandering in circles. And then I did something I hadn’t been able to do all week. I opened my gallery and scrolled to his pictures. Chris. Moments frozen in time, smiles I remembered, reckless nights and laughter that now felt like it belonged to a different lifetime. I exhaled slowly, bitterly- as I scrolled through the pictures. Zayne was in many of them too.

I struggled- then looked away from my phone, but my eyes returned to it nevertheless. 

Chris- the version of him I had once trusted, thought I knew, would have been here for me, laughing at my sulking. But he was never real to me. I let myself remember the good moments. I forced myself to reject the evil deeds, the chaos he left behind, and for a moment, I let grief and anger collide into something human.

Then it happened. A tear slid down my cheek. “Fuck, Chris. You should have just been it. Fuck.” I bit my lip until it hurt and sobbed silently, the kind of quiet that makes you feel hollow but strangely cleansed. Grim, my dog, padded around me, nudging my arm with her nose, pacing back and forth like she knew, somehow, exactly what I needed.

Chris was gone. He needed to be. But how was I suppose to get the memories away? More than ten years of friendship…

I guess I would have to start with deleting his pictures. I didn’t want to admit I needed therapy, but I was starting to think I did.

My phone buzzed. I checked and saw a text from my half-brother—Hartley. I unlocked it and read the message.

“Wine hangout with you and Zayne sometime later this week or next? Hit me up.”

I snorted, a small grin breaking through. I didn’t picture him as one who take alcohol. Maybe he meant non-alcoholic wine. On a normal day, I would decline this invite because even though I had reached a fair agreement with him, accepting him as my mother’s child, I was still not very ready for the familiarity. But I needed it. So I typed back quickly. “Yeah. Text me the address.”

I set my phone down on the bedside table. Almost immediately, it buzzed again. It was a call from Rex. My biker teammate. I picked.

“Yo, Jer. You home? I’m at your door,” he said as soon as I picked up.

“Oh, wow…coming.”

I rose, Grim following close behind me as I descended the stairs. I opened the door. Rex grinned as he saw me, his teeth braces shinning under the outside light. His leather jacket was slightly scuffed, helmet in hand. We did the usual knuckle greeting. It was like a breath of fresh air seeing someone who had nothing to do with the tragedies in my life right now.

“Thought you wouldn’t be around,” Rex said, stepping in. Then his tone shifted slightly, serious now. “Man…Chris’ death. It’s…wild, bro. I can’t believe all the shit he did. So Chris died. That’s fucked up.”

I was sure as hell that the last thing I needed to do now was discuss Chris, so I changed the talk. “That’s over now,” I said, my voice tighter than I expected. “Doesn’t matter anymore.” I paused, then let a corner of my mouth twitch. “You want to race?” The idea only just popped in my head.

Rex raised a brow. “Are you good to race? Last time we were here, you flopped. Big time. Remember?”

I laughed, holding up my stitched arm, which was now fully healing, the scars forming neat lines. “Fit now,” I said. “Better than ever.”

He handed me a can of Bubble Energy, grinning. “Then come on, bruv. Let’s see if The Champ is back.”

—

Helmets strapped, gloves on, engines roaring, we tore down Pacific Ridge like old times. Being on my ride again…fuck it, I didn’t need a therapist- I only needed my ride. 

Though Rex was leading, I wasn’t focused on the competition. I let myself feel the adrenaline building in me , the familiar rush of wind, the vibration of the bike under me. The thrill, the freedom, the joy—it was addictive. My arm ached slightly, but I handled it, pushing through every twinge.

Then I felt it—the fire I had been missing. I pushed harder, leaned into the curves, and the spirit of competition finally rose up like a living thing inside me. I saw Rex’s form ahead, and my jaw tightened.

I accelerated. Heart pounding, lungs screaming, the world shrinking to the road, the wind, the engine, the chase.

Within moments, I was riding side by side with him. He tried to get ahead again but I kept meeting up. “Voodo bro! Your fucking with Voodo!” Rex shouted and I laughed into my helmet. 

I was just getting started. I accelerated faster and within a few seconds, I was ahead. Riding past Rex and chasing no one but adrenaline. Purely nostalgic. Rex’s voice echoed over his helmet, half-laughing, half-shouting. “You’re cheating, Jer! That’s impossible!”

I just grinned, feeling alive again. The only feeling I could compare with the feeling I get whenever I ride was sex with Teyana. “I did it!” I yelled, letting the tires scream as I slowed, finally coming to a halt at the overlook.

Rex pulled up beside me, kicking his stand out. He removed his helmet, sweat gleaming on his face, excitement in his eyes. “And Jeremy The Champ of the Velocity Kings is back! Didn’t think I’d see this day again, bruv!”

I grinned, exhaling heavily. “I almost thought so too.”

He nudged me with his shoulder. “You’ll compete for the international ride cup, then. Thankfully it was postponed. We have almost two months now to train. Gosh, I’m excited!”

I was silent, letting his words sink in. That was true. The grand race I had always anticipated but my bad arm had forced me to sway from the idea of it. 

Rex leaned closer when he wasn’t getting response from me. “Come on, Jer. Please. You’ve got this. You gotta bring the cup home for us.”

Determination kindled in my chest. I met his eyes, feeling the fire inside me return fully. I was ready. I needed to grab my life back, and yes—for the first time in what felt like forever, I was alive in a way that didn’t require her to be here. 

“I think I will,” I said, already seeing myself holding the cup.