Chapter 64 Obsessive protection
Ryder's POV
I couldn't let her out of my sight, not for a minute, not for a second. Every time Sage moved I tracked her like a predator watching prey, and every sound that seemed off made my hand go instinctively to my gun. Every stranger who looked at her too long became a potential threat I needed to eliminate before they could get close enough to hurt her.
I knew I was being crazy and knew my behavior was crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed, but I didn't care.
Someone had tried to kidnap her three days ago in broad daylight, and someone had sent threatening letters to her father for years using her as leverage to manipulate and control him. Someone was out there right now planning their next move, watching and waiting for the perfect moment to strike again.
So yeah, I was being obsessive and overprotective and probably scaring the shit out of half the club with how I was acting, but Sage was alive and that was all that mattered to me.
"Ryder, I need to go to the bathroom."
I looked up from where I was cleaning my gun at the kitchen table and saw Sage standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and an exasperated expression on her face.
"Okay."
"Alone."
"I'll wait outside the door."
"That's what you did last time, and the time before that, and every single time I've needed to pee for the past three days." She walked over and sat down across from me with a sigh. "This is getting ridiculous."
"Someone tried to kidnap you in broad daylight in a grocery store parking lot. Ridiculous is the only sane response to that kind of threat."
"You told me that exact line when I said you were being crazy."
"Because it's true." I put down the gun and looked at her, taking in all the changes the past few days had brought. There were dark circles under her eyes from not sleeping properly, tension in her shoulders that hadn't been there a week ago, and stress lines around her mouth that made her look older than she was. "You're exhausted."
"So are you."
"I'm fine."
"Liar. You haven't slept more than two hours at a time since the attack, you follow me everywhere including into the bathroom, and you nearly attacked a waitress yesterday because she bumped into me by accident." Sage reached across the table and took my hand in hers. "I love that you want to protect me, but this isn't sustainable for either of us."
"I don't care if it's sustainable. I care if it keeps you alive."
"And what about when you collapse from exhaustion? What happens to me then when you're not there because you've pushed yourself past the breaking point?"
She had a point but I didn't want to admit it. "I'll sleep when this is over."
"This might not be over for months, Ryder. Diego gave us three weeks but that doesn't mean the threats stop after the wedding or that any of this goes away." Her fingers tightened on mine. "You can't keep this up forever."
"Watch me."
Sage sighed and pulled her hand back, then she stood and headed for the hallway. I was on my feet immediately, my body reacting before my brain could catch up.
"Where are you going?"
"To the bathroom. Alone. Like a normal person who doesn't have a bodyguard."
"Sage—"
"Ryder, I love you, but if you follow me to the bathroom one more time I'm going to lose my mind." She turned to look at me and I could see the frustration and exhaustion warring in her expression. "Please, just give me five minutes of privacy."
Everything in me screamed to follow her anyway, to make sure she got there safely, to check the bathroom for threats before she went in and to stand guard while she was vulnerable. But the exhaustion in her eyes stopped me and made me realize how much my protection was starting to feel like a prison to her.
"Five minutes," I said. "Then I'm coming to check on you."
"Fine."
She disappeared down the hall and I heard the bathroom door close, then the lock click into place. I forced myself to sit back down at the table and picked up my gun, starting to clean it again even though I already cleaned it twice today and it didn't need it. My hands shook slightly with what felt like withdrawal symptoms from not having Sage in my line of sight.
This was bad and I knew it was bad, knew my behavior had crossed from protective into obsessive and that it wasn't healthy. But I couldn't stop myself no matter how much I wanted to.
Every time I closed my eyes I saw those men dragging her toward the van, saw how close they came to getting her inside before I reached them. Three more seconds and she would have been gone, disappeared into that van and taken somewhere I might never find her.
Three seconds.
That's how close I came to losing everything that mattered.
So yeah, I was going to be obsessive and I was going to follow her everywhere and react violently to any perceived threat, because the alternative was losing her and that wasn't acceptable under any circumstances.
The bathroom door opened and Sage came back out, stopping when she saw me still sitting at the table instead of hovering outside the door like I had been doing for days.
"You actually stayed."
"You asked me to."
"I know, I just didn't think you'd listen to me." She sat back down across from me. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me for basic human decency."
"Basic human decency is not following someone to the bathroom in the first place. You've set the bar pretty low." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "We need to talk about what happens after the three weeks are up."
"You're not marrying Diego."
"I know, but we need a plan, a real one, not just hoping we find Dad's killer in time to stop the wedding."
She was right. As much as I wanted to believe we'd solve everything before the deadline, that was naive and we both knew it. We needed a backup plan in case we didn't find answers.
"What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking we run, like you said before. We get on your bike and we don't stop until we're somewhere the Blood Sisters can't find us."
My chest tightened at the thought. "What about Jaxon? The club?"
"They'll survive without me. They were surviving before I came back and they'll survive after I leave." Sage's voice was steady but I could hear the pain underneath it. "But I won't survive being married to Diego, and you won't survive watching it happen."
"Running means never coming back, never seeing your brother again, never being part of the Steel Wolves or having the protection of the club."
"I know."
"And you're okay with that?"
"No, but I'm less okay with the alternative." She met my eyes. "I choose you, Ryder. I choose us, even if it means losing everything else."
Before I could respond to that declaration, my phone buzzed and Jaxon's name flashed on the screen.
I answered. "Yeah?"
"We need you at the clubhouse. Now. Both of you."