Chapter 166 Leaving for good
Sage's POV
I packed my small bag with shaking hands, telling myself I was making the right choice. I had picked up my other things from home and they were already in the car downstairs.
The bag sat open on Jaxon's hospital bed while he watched me from his wheelchair. The doctors had moved him out of the ICU two days ago and he was getting stronger, but he was still weak and pale and far from recovered. He had not tried to talk me out of it until now and I had been grateful for that. I was not sure I had the strength to hold my ground against him the way I had held it against Ryder.
"You don't have to do this," Jaxon said quietly.
I folded a sweater and placed it in the bag. "Yes, I do."
"You don't love Diego."
"Diego is a good man." I reached for another shirt from the pile Elena had brought me. "He'll take care of me."
"That's not the same as loving him." Jaxon shifted in his wheelchair, wincing slightly at the movement. "Sage, don't make a decision you'll regret just because you're hurt."
"I'm not." I zipped the bag closed and turned to face my brother. "I'm making a decision based on who showed up when I needed them."
Jaxon's expression was pained. "Ryder made a mistake—"
"That was not a mistake." I said it steadily because I had thought about it every hour of the past week and I needed him to understand the difference. "What Ryder did was choose to stay away from me when I needed him the most. A mistake is something that happens without intention. He had seven days and he made the same choice every single morning."
"He was terrified of the situation."
"I was terrified too of losing you." My voice cracked. "And I still managed to ask about Tommy. I still sent messages through the brothers to check if he was okay. I still cared enough to make sure Ryder knew I was thinking about him even while I was sitting in a waiting room not knowing if you were going to survive." I looked at my brother. "Fear is not an excuse. I was afraid too."
Jaxon reached out and took my hand. "I hate seeing you like this."
"Like what?"
"Broken." He squeezed my hand gently. "You're making this decision from a place of pain, and that's not you."
"Maybe it is me now." I squeezed back, holding on a little longer than I meant to. "Maybe I learned that I need to protect myself because no one else will."
"Diego will protect you," Jaxon acknowledged. "But will he make you happy?"
I did not have an answer for that.
The silence stretched between us.
Jaxon sighed. "I'm not going to stop you. You're an adult and you can make your own choices. But I want you to know that if you change your mind at any point, you can come home. No judgment, no questions asked."
"That's strange coming from you, especially since you are the one who wanted this marriage by all means. But, thank you." I leaned forward and hugged him carefully, mindful of his injuries, pressing my face against his shoulder for a moment and letting myself feel how much I did not want to leave him like this. "I love you."
"I love you too." He hugged me back, his grip tighter than I expected given how weak he still was. "And yeah, that was when I was afraid of all my secrets blowing up in my face. But now it's already done, so no need." He pulled back enough to look at me. "For what it's worth, I think you and Ryder could work through this if you both tried."
"Some things can't be fixed." I pulled back and wiped my eyes. "Some hurts go too deep."
Diego arrived twenty minutes later. He knocked gently on the doorframe and waited for permission to enter, always respectful of boundaries, always measured. It was one of the things I had noticed about him this past week. He never pushed. He never demanded. He simply showed up and made himself useful and let me decide what I needed.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I picked up my bag and nodded. "Yes."
We said goodbye to Jaxon and then walked through the hospital corridors toward the exit. I kept my eyes forward, refusing to look toward the wing where Tommy's room was. Refusing to let myself wonder if Ryder was awake. Refusing to wonder if he was going to try to stop me again from leaving.
But when we stepped outside into the parking lot, I felt the weight of someone's gaze on me like a hand against my back. I looked up at the hospital windows and saw Ryder standing in one of the open ones on the second floor.
He was not moving. Just watching. His face too far away to read clearly but his stillness saying everything.
For one moment, I considered running back inside. Considered giving him another chance and letting him promise to do better. Considered throwing everything I had decided out and choosing the harder, messier, less certain thing.
But then I remembered what it had felt like to be invisible. To be sitting in that waiting room looking at the door every time it opened and it never being him. I remembered Diego pull up a chair and stay, and how shameful it had felt to be grateful for it.
I forced myself to look away and got into Diego's car.
He closed my door quietly and walked around to the other side. The driver started the engine with a quiet hum and we pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Millbrook behind.
I watched the hospital disappear in the side mirror and let the tears fall silently.
"You can change your mind," Diego said after we got to the airport. His voice was kind and patient. "I know I threatened to hurt your family if you didn't marry me, but I've seen you be hurt this past week and it hurts me. At any point, Sage. No hard feelings."
"No." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "I've made my choice."
"Okay." He did not push or try to convince me one way or the other. He just accepted my decision and looked back at the road.
We got on the plane and it took off. Every mile took me farther from Ryder, farther from the club, farther from the life I had known.
I told myself this was the right choice. That Diego would be good to me. That I could build something steady in Arizona with a man who had proven he would show up.
But the tears would not stop falling.
Diego glanced at me crying silently in the seat and said quietly, "I need to tell you something about why I am really doing this."