Chapter 136 Intrusive thoughts
Sage's POV
But Jaxon loved our dad. He had been devastated when he died. I had seen the grief on his face at the funeral, and heard the pain in his voice when he talked about losing our father.
Unless that had all been an act. Unless Jaxon was also a spineless murderer like Ryder. At this point, it wasn't even hard to believe, because the gun in his closet was obviously used to do something and unless the blood on the shirt belonged to a human, there was absolutely no need to hide it too.
No. That was crazy. Jaxon wouldn't kill people. He couldn't. Even if he did, that didn't mean that he was faking his emotions at his own father's funeral.
But then again, I had thought Ryder couldn't kill anyone either. And I had been wrong about that.
I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling as the sky outside started to lighten with the approaching dawn. In a few hours the hair and makeup team would arrive. Then there would be flowers and food and guests arriving. And I would be married to Diego Vasquez.
Then I would fly all the way to Arizona, and start a new life far away from here. Far from Ryder, far from the investigation, far from all the questions that had been eating me alive for months.
Maybe that's what I needed. Distance and space and the chance to start over without all the baggage and pain of the past few months weighing me down.
Or maybe I was just running away from problems instead of facing them. Trading one set of complications for another and hoping the new ones would be easier to deal with.
I must have dozed off again because the next thing I knew, sunlight was streaming through my window and my phone was buzzing. I grabbed it and saw it was a text from Elena.
"On my way with the team. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Hope you got some sleep."
I hadn't slept much, but I texted back that I was fine and would be ready when she arrived.
I dragged myself to the shower, standing under the hot water and trying to wash away the exhaustion and doubt. Today was my wedding day. I needed to pull myself together and get through it with some dignity, even if I felt like I was falling apart inside.
By the time I got out and dried off, I could hear vehicles pulling up outside. It was time to transform me into a bride.
I pulled on a robe and went downstairs to let them in. Elena took one look at my face and sighed.
"You didn't sleep at all, did you?"
"Not really." I stepped aside to let her and three other women into the house. "Is it that obvious?"
"You have dark circles under your eyes and you look like you're about to pass out." Elena guided me toward the stairs. "Good thing we brought extra concealer. We'll fix you up so nobody can tell." She was surprisingly lovely for such a cold-hearted woman. Being the president of the blood sisters was no easy task and I understood she needed to be even tougher than men to avoid being walked all over.
The women set up their equipment in my room, turning it into a makeshift salon. One of them immediately started working on my hair while another laid out makeup supplies on my dresser.
Elena sat on my bed watching them work, occasionally giving directions in Spanish. I sat there like a doll being dressed up, not really present in my own body as they transformed me into someone who looked ready to get married.
"Nervous?" Elena asked after a while.
"Something like that." I watched in the mirror as my hair was curled and pinned into an elegant updo.
"It's normal. Every bride is nervous on her wedding day." She paused. "Though I suspect your nerves are about more than just the usual jitters."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're marrying a man you don't love while still in love with someone else. That's not a recipe for calm nerves." Elena's voice was kind but honest. "I'm not judging you. I just want you to know that what you're feeling is valid."
"Thanks." I didn't know what else to say.
The makeup artist started working on my face, covering the dark circles Elena had mentioned and creating the illusion of someone who was happy and well-rested. I watched the transformation in the mirror and barely recognized myself.
I looked beautiful. Like a real bride instead of someone being forced into a marriage she didn't want.
But appearances were deceiving. And beneath all the makeup and hair and polish, I was still just a terrified girl who had no idea if she was making the right choice or the biggest mistake of her life.
"Time to get you into the dress," Elena said when the hair and makeup were finally done.
They helped me into the white lace gown, zipping it up and adjusting it until it fit perfectly. I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection, at the bride looking back at me with sad eyes despite the smile the makeup artist had painted on.
This was really happening. In less than two hours I would be walking down an aisle to marry Diego Vasquez.
And there was no going back.