Chapter 134 Second thoughts
Sage's POV
"We did." I turned back to the window. "Turns out he's not who I thought he was."
"Did he do something to you? Because if he hurt you—"
"He didn't hurt me. Not physically anyway." I wrapped my arms around myself. "But he lied to me about something important and I can't trust him anymore. That's all you need to know."
Jaxon was quiet for a long moment. "Does this have anything to do with the investigation into Dad's death?"
My heart skipped a beat. "Why would you ask that?"
"Because you've been obsessed with finding the killer since you got back. And now suddenly you're willing to marry Diego and stop investigating. It seems like you either found something or gave up looking." His voice was careful. "Which is it?"
"Maybe I just realized the investigation was going nowhere. Maybe I decided protecting myself was more important than finding answers that might not even exist." I kept my voice steady. "Or maybe I'm just tired of fighting a battle I can't win."
"Fair enough." Jaxon didn't push further. "Well, for what it's worth, I think you're making the right choice. Diego will take care of you. And being part of the Blood Sisters family means you'll have protection and resources we could never provide on our own."
"Is that what you want? For me to have protection?" I finally looked at him. "Or is it what you need?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You keep talking about how this marriage protects everyone, not just me. You seem almost relieved that it's happening." I moved away from the window. "What aren't you telling me, Jaxon?"
"Nothing. I'm just glad you're finally seeing sense about this whole situation." But his voice had that same careful quality it got when he was hiding something.
Before I could press further, someone called his name from downstairs. He moved toward the door, clearly relieved to escape the conversation.
"Get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be overwhelming and you need to be ready for it." He paused at the door. "And Sage? I really am proud of you for doing this. I know it's not easy."
He left before I could respond.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room, listening to the sounds of preparation happening below and outside. Occasionally someone would call up asking about preferences for placement or colors or timing, and I would answer with whatever seemed easiest.
By evening, the backyard was completely set up. I stood at the window and watched the string lights turn on as the sun went down, creating that soft glow I had imagined earlier. The chairs were arranged perfectly, the arch was covered in white fabric and ready for flowers, and the tables were positioned for the food tomorrow.
It looked beautiful. Like something out of a magazine.
And it made me feel absolutely nothing.
Diego and most of his people left around eight, heading to hotels in town for the night. Elena lingered a bit longer, going over the timeline for tomorrow with me one more time.
"The hair and makeup team will be here at nine. The ceremony is at four. That gives us plenty of time to get you ready and handle any last minute issues." She checked her phone. "Flowers arrive at noon. Food arrives at two. The minister shows up at three thirty to go over the ceremony one more time."
"Sounds like you have everything covered." I sat on the couch, exhausted.
"That's what I do." Elena smiled slightly. "Try to get some sleep tonight. I know that's easier said than done, but you'll want to be rested for tomorrow."
After she left, the house fell quiet. Jaxon had gone to the clubhouse to take care of some business, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the wedding dress hanging in my closet upstairs.
I made myself dinner but couldn't eat more than a few bites. Everything tasted like sawdust in my mouth. I tried watching TV but couldn't focus on anything. Finally I gave up and went upstairs to my room.
The wedding dress hung there in its garment bag, mocking me with its simple elegance. Tomorrow I would put it on and become Mrs. Diego Vasquez. Tomorrow my life would change completely and there would be no going back.
I pulled out my phone and stared at Ryder's contact again. My finger hovered over the call button for a long moment before I finally put the phone down. What would I even say to him? That I was sorry for accusing him of murder? That I missed him despite everything? That I wished things could have been different?
None of it would change anything. Tomorrow I was marrying Diego whether I wanted to or not.
I got ready for bed mechanically, going through the motions of brushing my teeth and washing my face without really being present. When I finally climbed under the covers, I stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about anything at all.
But my mind wouldn't stop racing. It kept circling back to the same questions, the same doubts, the same terrible certainty that I was making a mistake but couldn't figure out how to stop it.
What if Ryder really didn't kill my dad? What if I was throwing away the best thing in my life because I jumped to conclusions based on circumstantial evidence?
But then I remembered the phone call with Diesel. If he could kill for Diesel, what else was he capable of?
I must have drifted off at some point because I woke up with a start to find my room dark and the clock reading two in the morning. I had been dreaming about Ryder, about the investigation, about finding my dad's body that first day back home.
I got up and walked to the window, looking out at the backyard lit by those string lights that were still on. The wedding setup looked ethereal in the darkness, like something from a fairy tale.
But fairy tales had happy endings. And I had no idea what kind of ending I was walking toward tomorrow.
I stood there at the window for a long time, watching the night and trying to make peace with my choice. Eventually exhaustion pulled me back to bed, but sleep was elusive and restless when it finally came.
Tomorrow I would put on that wedding dress and marry Diego Vasquez.
And I would spend the rest of my life wondering if I had made the right choice or destroyed any chance I had at happiness.