He then turns and looks at me.
I continue:
''For not leaving the room when I asked.''
He says:
''I'm not as bad as you think.''
He has a half-smile and closes the door, and leaves my apartment, leaving me unresponsive.
I sit down on the couch and recap what happened between us.
And what kind of mood is this between us now?
Does he feel the same way I do and is afraid I will do something to boast somehow?
The problem with starting a game like this is that you have no idea when it ends.
...
... A few days later...
I wanted to concentrate on class, but I still remember that morning.
I haven't met Chris anymore, and I have even avoided going to Julie's, but the few times I have seen him, he doesn't seem interested in keeping up the game we created.
I even miss his teasing, and this is the height of absurdity for me.
...
''Do you want to study for the exam today?''
I ask, and Julie answers:
''You know today is Friday, and I'm going out with Brennan.''
I'm smiling, a little embarrassed, and she continues:
''You should go out too. The exam is still Monday, Molly. Do something, have fun, we'll study Sunday afternoon, I promise.''
I don't know if she will be available on Sunday afternoon, but I answer:
''Okay, I'll try.''
After thinking all afternoon, I get up from the couch and walk toward the front door.
I know he is home because Julie told me he would be there if I needed some of the books she bought from a collection last month.
I open the door, which is not locked, enter slowly, and head for the stairs.
I knock on the door to his room.
Seconds later, he opens the door, looking surprised to see me.
I would love it if his hair were all messed up, and he looked like he just woke up, and his shirtless didn't make him so irresistible.
I try to take my eyes off his abdomen and say:
''Can I talk to you?''
... Chris...
She's standing in my bedroom doorway, staring at me with a face that shows that if I don't say something now, she'll turn around and walk away.
So I say what I'm thinking:
''Molly?''
She still looks uncomfortable when she smiles and says:
''Hi Chris.''
I still look at her a bit confused because she has been avoiding me a lot these last few days, and since I decided to leave her space to think, we haven't seen each other much. It leads me to ask:
''Did you want to talk to Julie? I think she left.''
She bites her lips a little apprehensively, making me stare at them at the moment, remembering how good they taste. But she makes me look into her eyes again when she replies:
''No.''
I stare at her even more confused, and she continues:
'' I came to talk to you.''
I take a deep breath. I think I have an idea of what Molly came to talk about. She wants to forget everything that happened and ask us to go on with our lives, like when I kissed her while she was still engaged.
So I say:
''Come in.''
She seems a little reluctant, but she comes into my room, and I close the door. She rolls her eyes again down my body. I like it, but I disguise it. Then she turns around, takes another deep breath, and looks at me again, saying to herself.
''How can I say it?''
I have an idea of what comes next. Molly ran her hand through her hair, lowered her eyes on me quickly again, then looked into my eyes and moved closer.
Then she asks:
''What do you say we call a truce?''
I still look at her, confused because I don't know what she is talking about. At least I am relieved that it is not what I was thinking, and I question:
''What do you mean?''
She moves closer, and I know she notices what she is doing to me, thus getting closer and closer. She says:
''It is obvious that you are attracted to me.''
I almost roll my eyes, but she continues:
''And well, I'm attracted to you too.''
I like where this is going, so I just let it continue:
''So why don't we use this to our advantage instead of repressing ourselves every time we feel this way?''
Okay. Some of it I swear I understood and was interested. But I want to understand it completely. So I say:
''So I like what you said. But I honestly don't know what you're getting at.''
She takes another deep breath and continues:
''So I'm saying that you don't want romance, me much less, but if we match so well and are attracted to each other, why can't we have that?''
Wow, that's all I can think of if she's up for it. But I have to be sure, and I ask:
''Are you suggesting that we have sex like friends with benefits?''
From how she looks at me, I don't need an answer. I say:
''Wow.''
She bites back a slightly dull smile but still looks at me without understanding that this is one of the best things a woman can say to a guy.
I ask:
''Do you need me to give you an answer?''
Then I move even closer to her and start kissing her.
... Molly...
I think he approved of the idea. Not that I thought he would disapprove, but I like how he takes it all in stride and then comes up to me with this dimpled smile that blows me away and kisses me.
I don't know if we need to set more rules or if this will work. But I haven't thought about it much because I lose the courage to do things whenever I feel too much.
I woke up yesterday thinking of making this proposal to him because I realized that I kept thinking about that morning we spent together in my bed.