We put Chris on the couch, and I say goodbye to Julie, who still doesn't seem fully recovered from her cold.
" I'll owe you one."
"I swear I'll hold you to that, Julie!"
I say, laughing. She knows I would do anything for her. So I say:
"Now go to bed and get well soon so we can do something this weekend."
She gives a weak smile that doesn't remind me of the fun-loving party girl I know damn cold.
.... Chris....
I raise my eyes and see a girl coming toward me. She is not dark, thin, or with black hair. So I'm guessing it's not my sister. Maybe if she comes closer, I can tell better because I think I already got the anesthetic effect I wanted when I opened the first bottle of whiskey earlier today.
She walks towards me, looks at me, then at her cell phone, then at me again. She looks around, and there is no one else around. She seems a little confused.
She gets a little closer, and I conclude that she is not my sister, she has long brown hair and green eyes, and even though and is wearing only ordinary clothes, she is hot, very hot!
I started to like the idea of the cake Julie gave me. But when she smiles, reaching out her hand, that smile reminds me of someone, the person I am drinking so much whiskey today, not to think about her existence.
I stand up and try not to look at her face again because I know that if I do, I will fall apart, and I promised myself that I would never allow myself to show feelings to any woman in the world again.
Bad luck to this girl for showing up today, the official day I start putting my promise into practice. From now on, women will only be for me to catch, spend time with, or only to make out with them.
I will never again fall in love with any woman in this world.
...
I ignore her greeting, and maybe she will think I'm an idiot and stop smiling at me.
It seems to work because she already looks at me a little suspiciously. I wasn't paying attention to this.
...
I tried to lift my bags, but I think I felt a lot less drunk while sitting down.
She watches me as I put the bags in the trunk. I end up rolling my eyes because she thinks I won't be able to do it. To her misfortune, I do, and as a victory, I take another long sip of my whiskey.
She doesn't seem to approve of me drinking like this. Great, all the more reason for me to do this. And that is exactly what I do when I get in the car. She looks at me angrily and takes my bottle.
This girl needs to hear some truths to stop being so nosy.
I tell her exactly what I think about her when Julie talks about the best friend in the world she has in Seattle.
I always liked that my sister had found such a nice person away from home. But today, I'm not in the mood to be nice to anyone, and I twist what I think of her a bit.
So I say she is just annoyed because her boyfriend (who I am now beginning to think is quite an idiot for going out for so long and leaving a woman like that here alone) is always traveling and leaving her alone without sex.
I quickly discover that I have hit the girl's weak spot. I feel satisfied, not as happy as I had hoped, but at least she doesn't say anything back and is so surprised that she forgets about the bottle she had taken from me. I took it before but no longer want it for a moment.
I continued to irritate her and decided to put the bottle in the glove compartment. My eyes are tired, and I fall asleep.
Someone is tapping on my shoulder, but I don't want to wake up now. I just closed my eyes. I ask Molly to leave me alone, but she doesn't do it, and even against my will, someone is taking my arm and wrapping it around her neck. I open my eyes, and she is here again. Her hair is all falling on my face. I would be even angrier if she tried to drag me out of the car, but she smells good, and I let her do it.
I'm not so bad that I couldn't walk to the elevator alone. But when I try to move my arm away from Molly's neck, I find I am.
Mixing vodka and whiskey first thing in the morning was not as good an idea as I thought.
Even inside the elevator, she won't let go. I would have thought she was more relaxed in the days when I felt that all women were not the same.
And I have to confess that she does smell wonderful. I want to be able to keep that smell to remember on some night when I am too lonely and lack the courage to go out and look for some woman to satisfy me.
So I get a little closer to her, and only when I do that do I realize that I have gotten more intimate than I should have. I don't care. However, I tell her what I am thinking about her smell.
She didn't answer anything, but if I wasn't so bad, I could swear she shivered when I got closer. But maybe it's just something in my head.
The thing is that smelling her like that makes me want to know what it would be like to touch her skin and someplace where I might make her shiver again. Then I could be sure that it had happened.
I lift my hand and bring it to her waist under her shirt, pulling her slowly closer to me. I like that, and I like her reaction. I always have this effect on women, I just wondered if it would be different with her, but it never is.
But I don't want to bring her into my world. Not that world I want to live in now.
I wouldn't say I like the kind of guy I've become, but I have reasons for that, and I repeat that women will only serve for me to have fun. I never want to feel anything more than pure attraction for any of them again.