I glance back at my game again.
She passes in front of me and goes toward the book cabinet a few steps ahead of me.
I try to concentrate on the game, but it's hard when she's lifting her body like this and making those shorts shorter and shorter on her body. I mentally thank Brennan for putting the book on the high end.
She stands on her tiptoes, and I swear I can hear some groans as she tries to find the right height to pick up the book.
I give up sitting here, and it won't end well if I hear those sounds again.
I stand up and walk over to her, and she looks surprised at my approach. I move a little closer, and she seems embarrassed by this. I look at her, who looks across the room. And I would find it much easier to hate her the way I want to if she would stop looking at me like that.
But then I remember that she prefers him, that idiot, to any other guy in the world and believes him and the lies he tells.
Then I remember also why I should hate this girl in front of me.
Then I say:
''Try not to need others so much next time.''
It is the cue for her to change how she looked at me before, and I confess that this makes it much easier for me.
I then raise my arm, take the book, and hand it to her.
She looks at me, not gratefully, but as if it were my obligation.
I know I acted like an idiot, but so what? Doesn't she prefer the guys who work like this with her? After all, I don't care what she thinks, and I want her to stay away and not make me feel vulnerable like this.
I return to my seat on the couch. Molly walks past me, and I don't look at her. She's heading for the door.
I sigh with relief when I know she is no longer here.
...
I decide to call Adan. Every time this girl shows up, I get a lot of thoughts regarding her.
I call Adan so we can go to any bar and turn the night around.
...
As soon as I get to the parking lot, I realize that it is already six-thirty in the morning. Colin's car is there, which already makes me lose my good mood, not that I am a happy person at that time of the morning.
I get out of my car and get into the elevator wanting to get to my room as soon as possible and sleep until noon if possible, and Julie doesn't think she has to clean today with that noisy vacuum cleaner.
...
I lie down on the bed. I turn from side to side.
I stare at the ceiling. I curse whoever invented the energy drink I took yesterday. I find out after an hour that I won't be able to sleep. I get up and go to the kitchen.
Julie is there, Molly is there, and I overhear them talking while Molly is excited and tells me that Colin came home at dawn and they had a "Wonderful evening'' It makes me sick to hear it.
I make a noise so that they will notice my presence. I see Molly change her smile to a frown when she sees me. I don't give a damn.
''Long night?''
Julie asks after I say good morning. I say as I reach for a bottle of water in the fridge:
''I haven't slept all night and can't sleep now. Damn that energy drink.''
Julie laughs, and I go back to my room, wash my face in the bathroom and realize that my eyes are red and tired. But no sleep.
I give up on sleep and go to some social network on my cell phone.
...
After lunch and helping Julie with the dishes, she tells me she is going out and will be back later. I know she is not with Molly because she is working today.
I go to my room and lie on the bed, and I feel my eyes heavy after a while. I think I am finally feeling the pounding of staying up all night.
...
I wake up and look at the clock, and it's five in the afternoon. I slept like hell. I go to the bathroom and wash my face. I hear voices in the living room, which sounds like an argument, crying and knocking on the door.
I go downstairs, still feeling a little dizzy. Molly is standing with her back to the door, her eyes closed and crying.
I ask:
''What is that noise here? What the hell is going on?''
She turns quickly to the door and shouts:
''Get out of here! I don't want to see you ever again!''
I then realize that it is Colin's voice outside. I go downstairs and approach her. But as soon as I get close, she puts both hands on my chest and pushes me away, saying:
''You're no good! Why did you do this to me?''
I can't understand why she is so nervous, but I decide to listen and try to understand what is going on.
She continues:
''You knew everything Colin was doing and didn't tell me.''
I try to go towards her again because I realize she has somehow found out about all the shit he is doing behind her back.
But she starts to hit me as more tears fall from her eyes. I hold her arms not because it's hurting me. I want her to calm down so I can give my side of the story.
I don't know what I can say now to try to explain, but I know that I have to say it because I didn't tell her, I didn't want to hurt her, but I say it:
''I didn't want you to suffer.''
She stops crying, but the sobs are still constant, making her body sway towards me, and I realize how hurt she is by all this.
I swear I don't want her to feel bad. Pissing her off is different from seeing her sad like this, and I don't want that.
I move closer to her face and rest my forehead on hers, hoping that I can show her how I feel in this gesture. But the tears start streaming down her face again as she closes her eyes.