Who was in control
Who was in control
Blake POV
My hands were trembling as I tried to keep a steady grip on the steering wheel, and after every couple of seconds, I would look over at Nero, wondering if he was okay, even though we were just from the hospital.
"The doctor said that no important organ was impacted," Nero said when our eyes locked for a moment. "Blake, I am fine. I just have some scars that will fade in a few days."
Giving him a faint smile, I nodded my head slightly before focusing on the road. But I was not convinced because of how bloody his shirt was, even though it was dry bloodstains.
After what happened between Loki and him, I was relieved, really, and yet, it was difficult to get rid of that feeling that he could have died because of me, and that was something I didn't want to face, not right now.
"Why didn't you defend yourself?" I mumbled, clutching onto the steering wheel as I tried to calm myself down. "I have seen your wolf, Nero. You could have fought back if you wanted to, so why would you let Loki hurt you like that?"
"You wanted me to attack your father in his territory, and maybe end up killing him? Does that sound like a smart choice, Blake, huh?!" Nero asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.
Swaying my gaze towards him, I took a long look at his calm eyes and sigh, mumbling, "No. You are right! It would have been stupid of you."
Right now, I was freaking out inside because there were so many emotions crowding in me, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on before breaking down.
What happened today was all my fault, not my wolf. Because I was feeding off my hate, and I want... I wanted to kill them all for every damn thing that they did to me.
Never in my life did I know I had such darkness inside of me until at that exact moment when I felt the weight of the humiliation, the pain, feeling vulnerable and pathetic why I was being mocked and defeated by my abusers.
That moment made me channel power from raw animosity, forcing a bond with my wolf that she had to submit to, against her will, and that's when I realized exactly who was in control between her and me.
My entire life till this point, I always saw myself as a victim, and not until that very moment when I put on the role of a true rogue that I took full power of my wolf.
During that entire fight, we were still separate beings, but I had the power to make her do what I wanted without her consent.
And if not for Nero, I would not have stopped until my anger had subsided with their blood because I was completely in control of her… in control of what was happening.
"Blake," Nero interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to reality. "How did you get her to show up?"
"Who?" I asked without looking at him.
"Your wolf."
"I don't know... Maybe seeing you get attacked triggered her. After all, you are my alpha, and the bond is there, even if I am the only one who knows it."
"The thing is..."
"What?"
"Nothing,"
Darting my gaze away from the windshield, I looked into Nero's eyes and saw worry and concern written all over his face.
But how could I tell him the truth, that I have tapped into a side of me that was dark, and it scared the shit out of me because that part of me isn't something that should ever be allowed to be used and abused?
A lot of things frightened me at the moment. But there was one thing that was scarier than any other and that's the thought of Nero seeing me any different than the Blake he knows.
It was already difficult enough as it is with the fact that I was not convinced that he wouldn't reject me again because his curse has yet to be broken, and we are not linked as we should be.
So, right now, it was not the time for me to start changing on him when our bond is so weak, even though I could feel the shift happening in me slowly, and I could sense my wolf a bit more timid than before to my presence.
After a couple of silent seconds, I felt Nero's gaze on me, and he let out, "I am sorry, Blake."
"For what?" My voice came out in a whisper as my lips trembled.
Nero shifted uncomfortably on his seat before replying, "For not defending you properly. I should have done more."
"How many stitches on your wounds did you get?" I asked softly, hoping he wouldn't notice the tremble in my voice.
"Quite a few stitches," Nero replied with a faint chuckle.
"Okay then, don't apologize to me after getting your skin ripped open while trying to defend me. if you do, I'll never forgive you."
"Well..."
Suddenly, Nero took my free hand in his grip, lacing my fingers with his, and kissed the back of my hand.
My breath got caught in my throat, and I felt my heart skip a beat as I glanced away from the road and looked at him, feeling hot in my cheeks.
"Are you okay?" Nero asked, breaking the silence. "After what you went through back there-"
"I am fine... Well, I am going to be." I answered, clearing my throat.
Until this very moment, I had been acting tough, but now that I was free from the rage that stimulated my ability, I have been freaking out when flashes of the images of that brutal scene hunted my mind.
"Do you think... Loki and Luna..." I whispered hesitantly, glancing back at him.
"Although they seemed badly hurt, they are going to recover," Nero said calmly, squeezing my hand as reassurance.
Smiling weakly, I took a deep breath, and then said, "My biggest concern now is that I might have just made myself an enemy of the pack, and how the fuck is Loki going to tell me about my mother or my grandfather now when I almost killed his daughter and him!?"
When Nero didn't say anything for a second, I sighed once again and continue driving, knowing that it was better if I don't talk about this anymore.
There was no way he could help me with this, anyway, and he was already wounded badly. Stressing him out was the last thing I wanted to do.
Finally, I drove his car into the yard, and we both stepped out of the vehicle.
As soon as Nero's foot touched the ground, he immediately fell onto his knees, gritting his teeth. The wound on his abdomen wasn't life-threatening, but it was still a pretty nasty slash, and it was obvious it hurts immensely.
"What the fuck?!" I shouted in fear, running towards him as he held his stomach, trying his best to stand up.
"Hey, hey, relax, it's nothing serious!" Nero managed to say despite his pained expression.
Because of me, he had to stay with such a deep wound untreated for a long time, and that's why his healing process is so slow, causing him to suffer from extreme pain.
"Nero, stop acting strong, just let me take care of you," I demanded as he balance on his feet, looking hesitatant with his eyes on mine. "I'm sorry. I should have-"
Before I could finish speaking, Nero grabbed my face with his hand, making me stop, and I stared at him, waiting for his next words.
"This is not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. If anything I should be the one telling you, 'Thank you,' because you saved my ass back there." Nero muttered, pulling me closer to him.
"Your ass wouldn't have needed saving if I wasn't so damn pathetic." I cried softly, clutching his shirt tightly in my fists.
Letting out a small laugh, Nero shook his head gently before saying, "Maybe we should stop playing the blaming game and be thankful that we both came out of there alive."
"True," I whispered, nodding my head before raising my gaze to meet his eyes. "I promise you that that will be the last time I put your life in harm's way like that again."
Looking into each other's eyes, Nero said nothing and leaned in towards my lips, brushing his against mine lightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck while deepening the kiss.
Maybe he didn't believe a word I said because I have always been weak and unable to take care of myself properly.
But after today, I knew it was time for a transfer of control between my wolf and me, and if I have to break and bend her to my will to do that, then I would do it even if it meant giving in to my inner demon.
With that, I pulled away slightly and gazed into Nero's eyes as I whispered, "I love you."
"I love me too," Nero teased smiling as he cupped my cheek with his hands. "I love you, Blake."