Chapter 40 LOSING BOTH OF THEM
AMBER’S POV
The tension around us prickles my skin, weighing on me as though we are enclosed in a small room. I pass by Damien, and he avoids my gaze, and I pass by Derek, feeling his dagger-like stare pierce through my soul.
And just this morning, I thought I saw him smile at me, but I guess I imagined it.
In my head, things have been so good between us for the past two days, and I found it strange and uncomfortable.
Waking up to him nuzzling my neck and holding me tightly against himself felt extremely good, like all was right in the world, but still, I felt strange. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
That maybe he’d suddenly change and tell him he is irritated by me and I should move to a different room, or something worse. I waited for 48 hours for the energy between us to change from peaceful to chaos, as is our normalcy, but for those two days, nothing happened.
I guess this is the straw that broke my camel's back, because the look in his eyes right now is sharper and more piercing than any death glare he has leveled me with. This look has hints of more negative emotions than the usual disdain, and I choose not to ponder on them, for the sake of my peace and sanity.
“Amber, you look well,” Trenton says to me with an assessing gaze and a passive look on his face, and I roll my eyes.
“Trent, you haven’t seen me in months, and you won’t even offer a smile?” I ask him with a playful glare, and he gives me a half smile.
For him, I know that this is the best I will get. This is definitely the best he can do, standing here on high alert and ready to go to war at any second, so I wrap him in a tight hug, holding him like he’s an anchor to my floating boat.
“Mum and Dad send their regards,” he says, placing his chin on my head and rubbing his hand on my back tenderly like a consoling senior brother, and this makes me smile.
“What did you have to do to convince them not to come here?” I ask him, still not letting go.
He smells like everything I love: my mother, my father, my pack. He smells like home, so I don’t let go.
“We bickered for days, that’s why I’m coming this late, I had to tell Umar to put sleeping herbs in their food so they can let me leave alone,” he says, and I laugh, thinking of his conversation with Umar, our chef.
She must have been so conflicted thinking about where her loyalties are, and it must have been difficult to drug the former alpha and Luna.
The good thing is that Umar is family, and there’s no way my brother would make her lose her job.
What she has to deal with is my mother’s yelling and my father’s scolding.
“Oh, their facial expressions will be priceless once they see you back home and smell my scent off you.”
“I brought a change of clothes,” he says casually, and I laugh hard, breaking the hug and looking up at him, “I miss them, I miss the pack,” I say, my voice breaking.
“We miss you. But you are alright, right?” He asks, concerned, and on a normal day, I would tease him for being a sissy when he is usually all tough and broody, but today, I just want to tell him everything that has happened, but I can’t.
I can feel all eyes on me right now. I didn’t expect any form of privacy, but I also didn’t expect to be watched like a criminal who could bolt at any moment.
Maybe I will bolt, who knows, maybe I’ll run away from here, from them, from the constant chaos in my mind and conflict in my heart.
But my now protruding stomach says I can’t.
“I’m fine, Trent. I’m alive, my baby is strong and healthy, and I’ve picked up a new hobby,” I say, assuring him.
Since I can’t leave, I might as well put him at ease. Once he’s gone, I can deal with the men in my life who find it fun to torment and confuse me. I’m certain that they are both bipolar.
“What hobby?” he asks.
“I garden now,” I say, with my best giddy tone. The thought of gardening now reminds me of Damien, and I’ve been actively avoiding thinking of him.
“That’s enough catching up!” Derek's voice sounds behind us, just as he is about to respond.
“It’s enough when I’m sure that –” Trent starts saying, but I interrupt him.
“It’s fine, Trent, I’m so happy you came to see me today. Please come again,” I say, with a compelling look, seeking his understanding.
I don’t want to cause a scene or a battle right now, and I can feel that Derek is already in a bad mood. If it gets down to it, he’ll not hesitate to start a fight, and I’d rather not see anyone hurt.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, greet father and mother for me,” I say, hugging him again, and he returns the hug.
“I’ll come see you soon, I promise,” he says, tightening his hold on me, but in a second, our hug is cut short when Derek grabs my arm and pulls me away from him.
“I don’t think so. Seeing one of you regularly is already a nuisance,” he says, and Trent growls fiercely, and I immediately pull my hand out of Derek’s grip, infuriated by his behavior.
“I can walk on my own,” I growl, glaring at him, and he snaps his head at me.
“Watch your tone!” he grinds out through his teeth, and I don’t waver.
“And watch yours!” I say, matching his tone.
“Get out of here, Trenton,” he says, not looking away from and I break eye contact.
“Please, Trenton, I’m fine, I promise,” I say, but he looks uncertain. With pleading eyes, I add, “I’ll write to you from time to time,” I say and he relents.
He gets on his horse, signaling others to get on theirs as well, and I watch them leave before facing my mate, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me.
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LOVER, PROTECTOR, OR BOTH