Chapter 19 THIS SHOULDN'T HURT
AMBER’S POV
I don’t stop running until I'm safe behind the door of my room.
That did not just happen. I did not cuddle him like a freaken pillow. I didn’t do that.
Goddess! I did that.
I remember the exact position I woke up in, me comfortably clasping onto him like a bear, and him lying stiff underneath me. How horrid. My wolf purrs in pleasure at the memory, and I groan, hating that I had to start my morning frustrated.
Not to mention bumping into Damien, who looked surprised at first, then amused after scanning every inch of my body, triggering goosebumps all over me, that unnerved me and had me fleeing with more determination.
I palm my face as a wave of embarrassment rushes through me; only the goddess knows what he thought happened in there.
I blame the mating bond for the torture and torment I’m going through. Without it, I wouldn’t be here, carrying the baby of an Alpha who wants nothing to do with me. Most importantly, this insane push and unconscious pull we are playing would not be happening.
My common sense knows to have nothing to do with Derek, but it’s a different situation with my wolf, who seems to be in emotional hyperdrive each time Derek is close by.
A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts, and I move off to open it.
“Good morning, Princess,” Hera, the omega, greets with a slight bow.
“Good morning, Hera,” I say, moving aside for her to step in.
“I’ll run you a bath and help you pick your outfit for the day. Breakfast will be in the dining hall,” she says politely, already heading towards the bathroom.
“Okay,” I say simply as I move to lie on the bed and let her do her thing while I feel myself grow anxious to meet him, because certainly he’ll be at the dining hall, and if this setting is the same as the one back home, then I’d be sitting right next to him.
I don’t know if I’m ready to face him, look him in the eyes, and watch him stare at me with more repulsion after what just happened.
I groan, rubbing a hand over my face as I try to push him out of my mind, but the next person that settles in it doesn’t settle my anxiety; he spikes it differently.
The way he looked at me shouldn’t have brought chills to my body, but it did, and then he mouthed ‘good morning princess,’ with a smirk, aggravating my nerves, before I ran past him for my sanity’s sake.
“Your bath is ready, Princess,” Hera says, pulling me out of my thoughts and off the bed as I get undressed.
My wolf purrs again once Derek’s scent cocoons us from the nightwear I have on, to my skin, which was glued to his.
It gives me a sense of excitement as I feel butterflies in my stomach. I stared at him for one second, and it was enough to imprint his drool-worthy look in my mind.
If only he weren’t such an asshole.
Silencing the thoughts of him in my mind, I step into the bathroom and immerse myself in the warm water, which soothes my nerves and relaxes me.
I take my time bathing, and once I’m done, I step into the room to see three dresses laid on my bed, but my attention is pulled by the loud noise and chatter going on outside the room.
“What’s happening outside?” I ask Hera, who still stands with her head bowed, waiting for me to pick a dress.
“Breakfast had been prepared, so some of the servants are taking time off to rest until after breakfast, when they have to get back to work.”
“Oh, are their quarters close by?” I ask.
“This is the servant wing, princess. The head omega used to stay in your room, but she moved out, and the room was prepared for you,” she says, and I’m stunned for a moment.
He put me in the servants' wing, ensuring that I’m away from him and the rest of the pack, basically telling me my level of unimportance here.
“Okay, Hera, I’ll go with the red dress,” I say in acceptance, because even though I expected a bit more acknowledgement, I’m not new to his lack of regard for me, so this shouldn’t bother me.
It shouldn’t, but it does.
The longer I spend here, getting to know him and seeing his true colors, the more I believe that being fated to him is more of a curse than a blessing, but I refuse to dwell on that this morning and completely ruin my mood.
I get dressed and apply light makeup. This is my first meeting with the pack, and I want to at least make a good first impression, even though there’s a chance that they’ll write me off the moment they see me.
Once I’m done preparing, Hera leads the way to the dining hall, and I find that I’m the first person to arrive besides the servant applying finishing touches to the set table.
I’m marveled at the setup; it’s different from the one at the spirit pack, which is an extremely long dining table where everyone sits facing each other, but this one looks better, with about twenty long tables kept parallel to each other, which fills the hall but leaves ample space to ensure ventilation when it’s full.
“What are you doing here with her?” The harsh voice of an elderly she-wolf disrupts my admiration.
“I brought the Princess for breakfast, Miss Glad,” Hera responds with uncertainty as she lowers her head, feeling the she-wolf’s piercing gaze on her.
“And who instructed you to do that? What made you think she’s welcome to sit with the rest of the pack?” she asks, now yelling at Hera as she spares me a look of disgust.
“What are you saying? Am I not allowed to sit at the table?” I ask, trying to get the pressure off Hera and also understand what she’s trying to say.
“You are not welcome here, Amber. Imposters are not allowed to make contact with the pack; we don’t want you stabbing a knife in one of our backs,” she says with venom dripping from each word, which leaves me shocked as she even regards me without a title.
“So where do I have breakfast?” I ask, but she completely ignores me and addresses Hera again.
“She is to stay in her room at all times. Everything would be provided for her in there; we don’t need her infecting this pack. Each meal will be brought up to her in her room. It’s your responsibility to ensure that she doesn’t take a step out of her room at any time; if not, you’ll be severely punished,” she says sternly.
“Is the alpha aware of this instruction?” I ask calmly, too overwhelmed by every stabbing word she just said to react differently.
“Yes,” comes a response, but not from her. I feel him before I see him, and my eyes come in contact with his cold, demeaning ones. “I don’t want you anywhere near my pack, Amber. You aren’t a part of it, so you’ll stay in your room, everything will be provided for you there,” Derek says straightly, not holding my gaze as he moves to sit at the head of a table.
I don’t say another word or give a reaction, choosing not to show any form of vulnerability, I simply turn and walk back the direction I came.
I ignore everything else, and I don’t stop walking, not even when I hear raised voices behind me.
“What the fuck was that, Derek?! You shouldn’t speak to her that way!” I hear, but I ignore it, feeling myself get lost in my mind as sadness consumes me yet again.
I guess I’ll be licking my wounds in silence again today, wounds from a person fated to heal me rather than break me.
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KEEPING HIM AWAY