Chapter 151 SHATTERED HEARTS FOREVER
AMBER'S POV
I couldn’t stop shaking. My hands were cold and clammy, my chest felt like it had been hollowed out, and every thought I tried to hold onto seemed to slip away like sand. Derek was beside me, his presence a constant warmth I had relied on for so long, but even he couldn’t reach the depth of the fear crawling inside me. I wanted to scream, to run, to vanish but my legs wouldn’t move, and my voice refused to obey.
“Amber… look at me,” Derek’s voice was low, steady, but there was a tension there, like he was barely keeping himself together.
I could see the worry in his eyes, the way his jaw tightened, the way his hands hovered near me, unsure whether to touch me or hold back. I wanted him to hold me. I needed him to hold me. But I also wanted to disappear entirely, to not be seen, to not be anyone’s burden.
I tried to speak, but only a strangled sob came out. “It… it’s all gone,” I managed to choke out, my voice breaking.
“Everything we fought for… everything we dreamed about… it’s gone, Derek.”
He reached for me then, and I let him. I leaned into his chest, pressing my face into the warmth of his shirt, trying to anchor myself to something real. His arms wrapped around me, strong and protective, and for a moment, it felt like maybe, just maybe, I could breathe again.
“It’s not gone,” he murmured into my hair, his voice almost desperate. “I’m here. I won’t leave you. I’ll…”
“Don’t say it,” I interrupted, my tears soaking into his shirt. “You don’t know if you can keep me safe. You can’t, you can’t stop everything.”
His hands tightened on my shoulders, on my back, pulling me closer. “I can’t stop everything, Amber, but I can protect you. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I shook my head violently, pulling back slightly so I could look at him. My eyes were red, swollen, and glassy, my chest heaving.
“You don’t understand, Derek. I’ve lost… I’ve lost so much already. I thought… I thought we were safe. I thought you were… mine. And now…” My voice broke completely, trailing into nothing.
He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing the tears off my cheeks. “Amber, look at me. Listen to me, I need you to hear me. I am yours. Always.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to feel the truth in his words, the solidity I had relied on for so long. But the fear had lodged itself in my chest like a stone, and every promise felt fragile, like it could shatter with the slightest touch.
He pulled me into another embrace, pressing his face into my hair. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.
“I’m not losing you. Not ever.”
For a moment, I let myself cling to him, let myself pretend that maybe, just maybe, we could survive whatever storm had crashed down on us. But then, the memory of what had happened…the betrayal, the attacks, the fear, the helplessness…crept back, clawing at my mind. My arms fell around him, but the embrace felt hollow. My heart was breaking, and even as he held me, I knew that nothing could put the pieces back together.
“Derek…” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “I… I don’t know if I can be strong anymore. I don’t know if I have the strength to keep holding on.”
His voice was low, steady, but there was an edge of something darker beneath it. “Then let me be strong for you. Let me be the strength you need, Amber. You don’t have to carry this alone.”
I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, feeling the heat of his body pressed against mine. It should have been comforting. It should have made me feel safe. But instead, it reminded me of everything I had lost, of everything that could still be taken from me.
My sobs shook me, wracking my body. Derek held me tighter, and I could feel the tension in his own body, the fear he was trying to hide, the anger that was slowly rising under the surface.
Somewhere deep inside me, I realized that nothing would ever be the same again. Not us, not our dreams, not our lives. I clung to him anyway, desperate for any fragment of hope, any sliver of comfort, knowing it might all be ripped away in the next instant.
I thought I had felt fear before, real fear, but this was different. This was terror that gnawed at my soul. Derek’s arms were still around me, his hands trembling slightly, his breath ragged as if holding me was exhausting him in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I wanted to tell him to calm down, to relax, to breathe but I knew he couldn’t. Not while the same darkness that haunted me clawed at him too.
“Amber…” His voice was rough now, raw. “You’re not alone in this. Whatever comes… I’m with you.”
But his words felt strange. Not comforting. Something heavier was threading through them. I shivered in his arms, feeling it, sensing the tension building like a storm about to break. My heart pounded in my chest, my tears falling freely, and I wanted to beg him to stop, to just stay calm, just stay human for me.
Then it happened. Something inside Derek snapped. It started small, his hands clenching into fists, the tight line of his jaw, the wild look in his eyes but it didn’t stop there. The warmth of his arms became a cage. The steady heartbeat I had clung to became thunderous, almost violent.
“What… what are you…” I began, but my voice cracked under the weight of fear.
His head snapped up, and his eyes, normally a place of safety, were now wild, untamed. “No one… no one will hurt you again!” he growled, his voice low, dangerous.
“I will make sure of it!”
I recoiled instinctively, the warmth I had relied on turning into something frightening. “Derek… please… calm down…” I whispered, barely audible.
He shook his head violently, his hands gripping my shoulders, not gentle anymore, more like iron traps. His eyes burned with an intensity I had never seen before…pure rage, pure beast. “I won’t let anyone take you from me… not now, not ever!” His voice rose, echoing in the room, jagged and unrelenting.
I tried to step back, tried to plead with him, but he followed, relentlessly. His arms were no longer comforting, they were a force that pinned me in place, a tidal wave of fury I couldn’t escape.
“Derek… you’re scaring me!” I cried, my body trembling. “I’m right here! It’s me!”
But he didn’t hear me. His anger, his rage, had consumed him entirely. I could see it in every movement, every glance, every trembling muscle. He was no longer Derek, the man I had chosen, the one I had loved with everything inside me. He was something else…something untamed, barbaric, terrifying.
I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to break through the wall of anger, trying to reach the man I knew was still in there somewhere. “Derek… it’s me… Amber… your mate…” My voice was shaking, tears blinding me.
He paused for a fraction of a second, and I thought maybe, just maybe, he would come back to me. But then the storm in his eyes returned, darker this time, and he pulled me closer…not to comfort, but to possess, to dominate, to punish the world for daring to threaten what he could no longer control.
“I… I can’t…” I whispered, feeling my heart shatter. “I can’t fight this with you…”
His growl shook the room. “You don’t have to!” His voice cracked with rage. “I’ll do it for both of us!”
I closed my eyes, pressing my face into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I had lost him…not just to fear, not just to pain, but to something darker, something I couldn’t touch or reach anymore. The man I had loved, the one I had chosen, the one I had believed would always stand by me… he was gone and in his place was a beast I couldn’t tame, couldn’t console, couldn’t love anymore.
The room felt cold even though he was still there. I felt the weight of despair pressing on my chest, suffocating me. And as his rage echoed around us, fading slowly into silence, I realized with a sickening finality that I had lost him completely. Not to death, not to betrayal, but to something far worse…a part of him that I could never reach again.
I stood there trembling, my tears soaking his shirt, my soul breaking with every heartbeat. Derek’s chest heaved with the aftermath of his fury, but he no longer belonged to me. My heart ached, shattered into pieces I didn’t know could be fixed. I had lost the one I had chosen, the one I had believed in, the one I had loved with every ounce of myself.
And I knew… I would never forgive the darkness that had taken him.
THE END
MATED TO A MAD KING - BOOK 2