Chapter 10 HER OR TORTURE
DEREK’S POV
It’s been four days since I saw Amber at the Malcrid, making it a week since I told her she wasn’t what I wanted in a mate.
I’ve been plagued severely ever since she sternly rebuked my actions towards her – the most desirable scene ever – strangely, my wolf and I agreed.
I remained firm on my decision that day and told her to stay away from me, but rather than break down like she did at first, she gave me a straight glare and said these exact words that tore my soul.
“If I walk out of here, then you mean nothing to me, and this pain that I feel right now would be a reminder that you are the bane of my existence. The more I hurt because of you, the more I'd convince myself that being your mate is the worst thing to happen to me,” she had said, and her words affected me more than they should have.
She stood, watched, and waited for me to say something, but I didn’t. I let her walk away from me. I could tell she was hurting, but I could feel her resolve.
Ever since that day, our conversation has been tormenting me.
My plan at the Malcrid already had enough flaws, like the fact that I had not rejected her, and my chances of finding another mate were little to none, also that being there made me feel like life was being drained out of me, which worsened cause her presence there made the entire plan crash and burn.
For the past three days, I’ve been glued to my bed, unwilling to move. I’ve not drunk or eaten anything because every fiber of my body is pining and craving her.
I want her so badly that my mind is fogged with memories of her touch, her smile, her voice, her deep grey eyes, literally everything about her makes my body hum and my blood heat up.
I’ve also been in physical pain, like the effect of grief at its peak; I’ve been weak and my wolf eerily quiet, and I feel him less with each day that passes.
I’ve been unable to shift, a shell of my former self, and each change, each deterioration, each psychological dip, I feel them to the core; I recognize them vividly. I feel myself becoming weaker with each passing day. All this because I’m away from her.
Realizing all of these now, every reason I had to stay away from her makes absolutely no sense. I know that it’s just a matter of time before I stop feeling my wolf, and I cannot be in this state, so regardless of everything her family has done to me, I need to have her by my side for my sanity.
I might despise her, but at this point, I also need her.
‘Staying here isn’t helping,’ I say to myself, pushing myself off the bed with an effort.
I take off my clothes and walk into the shower, and as the water runs over my body, I make my decision to get her back, regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
After dressing up, I step out of my room and head to the meeting hall, where I am sure my father is, and I find him seated with his two betas, one on each side. They all turn to look at me as I walk closer to them.
“You have decided to bring her here with you, haven’t you?” my father asks.
“Today,” I say plainly
“I understand. You are in a bad place right now without her here, and you need her to be at full strength,” my father starts saying.
“We are all aware that she has a traitor's blood running through her veins, so we’ll treat her accordingly. Her role would be simply to be by your side for your well-being and nothing else,” his beta continues.
“Exactly, she isn’t worthy of being our Luna by virtue of the family she’s from, and since you can’t reject her because of the repercussions, she’ll just be your mate for now,” his gamma says.
“Let’s go get her now,” I say authoritatively, ignoring everything they said.
While I know that they are right, I’m too vulnerable to attempt antagonizing her, so to me, as of this moment, she’s everything I need and more.
I mount my horse, knowing that it will take seven hours to get to the spirit Pack, but I’m willing to make the journey.
Five hours into the ride, and rather than feel exhausted, I feel better as though the closer I get to her, the stronger I become.
In this moment, I wish there were a manual for how to deal with the mating bond because I do not know how this works or what I’m doing. The mating bond’s effect varies for different people, so I have no guide on how to do this.
What every wolf is taught right from a young age in this regard doesn’t go beyond ‘as long as you’re by your mate’s side, everything will be as perfect as the goddess wills it.’
In two hours, we get to the wall which marks the spirit’s pack boundary, and as expected, Trent is right in front of the wall waiting for me as I dismount my horse.
“What brings you far away from safety, Derek?” He asks with a stoic look, his aura spiking in warning.
“Is that a threat, Trenton?” I ask him with a challenging tone because, for the first time in seven days, I feel like I can finally breathe and no one is standing in my way, regardless of who they are.
“That was a fact, and you are two seconds away from seeing how factual it was if you don’t tell me what the hell you are doing here,” he says, and I feel his aura become more intense.
“I’m here for my mate,” I say plainly, and I watch him stand silent for a moment before laughing.
“Over my dead body will I let you get anywhere near my sister,” he says with prominent malice.
“She is mine now, you don’t have a say in that, and I’ll gladly go through you to get to her,” I say to him, taking a threatening step forward to relay my seriousness.
“I – Dare – You,” he says, taking a step forward also, but in a second, he becomes of less importance when my heart beats faster as I feel her presence.
“Amber,” I say once I see her walk outside with an impassive look.
“Get back inside, Amber,” Trent says to her, drawing my sharp glare back to him as I growl in annoyance.
“Derek,” she says, ignoring her brother, and his eyes flash rage, but he still stands in front of her, putting distance between us.
“Amber, I’m here to get you. I’m done pretending that I can live without you. I need you,” I say, my voice pleading, but it gets no reaction out of her as her face remains passive.
“I’ll say this once, Derek, I want nothing to do with you, not now, not ever. Stay away from me,” she says, effectively taking the breath of air from my lungs and filling me with misery.
NAUSEA AND DEVASTATION