Chapter 40 The kiss..

Chapter 40 The kiss..
Lilith’s POV
The morning of the memorial arrived sooner than I would have preferred. I was dressed in a modest black dress that stopped below my knees.
Just like the previous nights, I had slept with Ariel and avoided Jayden like a plague the whole day. I had promised myself I wouldn't care, but when I finally saw Jayden waiting by the car, my resolve wavered for a split second.
The man who usually stood like a towering aura looked diminished. His shoulders were pulled tight, and his eyes, even though covered by sunglasses, were sad. He didn’t nag about my dress and how I could be more like Celine, he simply nodded once and looked away.
The ride was silent as usual and soon, we arrived at the venue. Throughout the service at the private cemetery, I maintained the perfect facade of the supportive wife. I stood close to him with my hand tucked into the crook of his arm. Even though he barely said a word, I could feel him tremble as the sermon progressed.
I barely knew anything about him, save for the fact that he lost his parents at a tender age and he was always filled with coldness.
Part of me hissed that he was doing it for the cameras, playing the role of the tragic orphan to garner sympathy from the watchful eyes of the invited guests. Yet, every time I caught a glimpse of his trembling jaw, my anger felt more like a heavy weight on me.
I played my part, offering him a steady presence and a quiet word when others approached, acting every bit the caring partner he had claimed I was only pretending to be and when it was all over, I was more than happy to go back to Ariel.
We arrived back at the mansion and Jayden walked silently into the house, while I followed a few minutes after. I was about to walk past his room but chose to stop by in order to grab more of my things because I planned on staying with Ariel for as long as possible.
But as I pushed the door open to the bedroom, the sound I heard stopped me dead in my tracks.
It was a low, broken sob from no other person but Jayden.
Jayden was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried in his hands. His coat was thrown on the bed and his tie hung loose as his shoulders shook with a slight tremble.
I stood there stunned, unable to think of what to do because this part of him was something I had never seen before.
My heart, which I had tried so hard to turn to stone, cracked wide open as I watched his broken state.
Without thinking, I pushed my anger away and walked over and sat beside him. I carefully touched his arm, half expecting him to yell at me or worse, throw me out of the room but he shocked me even more when he leaned into my touch like it was the most natural thing to do.
He let out a few more quiet sobs and I realized he wasn’t acting, he was indeed, deeply hurt.
"Jayden," I whispered, my voice filled with a genuine care I couldn't suppress any longer.
He looked up at me and I was shaken by the intensity in his eyes. "They’re gone, Lilith," he choked out, his voice breaking. "Every year, I think it’ll get easier to stand there and look at those stones, but it just feels like the world is getting emptier."
"I know," I said softly, my hand moving to cup his cheek. "I know it hurts."
Pain wasn’t a foreign feeling to me. In fact, all my life, there wasn't a happy moment that didn't come with twice as much pain. My bundles of pains were released the moment I lost my parents and since then, Ariel has been my only reason to live.
He looked at me then, really looked at me. The dark, cold gaze that usually stared at me with irritation was filled with vulnerability that made my heart ache for him. I knew he couldn’t care less about me if the tables were turned but still, I couldn't pretend not to see.
"I’m sorry," he breathed, his hand coming up to cover mine on his face. "In the car... I was a bastard. I was scared of how much I actually cared that you were safe, so I lashed out. And I’ve been an asshole since the wedding which I have no excuse for."
The honesty in his voice was my undoing. Never in history had Jayden apologized for how he treated me, which made the moment special.
We stayed like that for a long time, caught in a pull that was impossible to resist. As our gaze drew on, the suppressed attraction I felt towards him began to resurface. I knew he felt it too, because his eyes became hooded.
Slowly, his gaze dropped to my lips and then back to my eyes with a silent question hanging in the air. I knew he was asking for permission and I wasn’t going to push him away.
I chose to make the first move.
I leaned in slowly until our breaths mixed and our eyes devoured each other silently. Then, he closed the distance as his lips descended on me with a passion that shook me. I felt everything else in the room melt away as he hungrily devoured my lips.