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37
The silence irked me just as much as the fact that the only place I could communicate with Atticus was during dinner, and the talk was not always consistent, just like today. 

Unlike our usual position, I was seated across from him instead of my usual seat beside him, and it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out why.  

I was mad. I felt humiliated, and I was also irritated. Not just with myself anymore, but with the man seated across from me, who would not utter a word to address what had happened. 

It irritated me that he was sitting down and eating so calmly as though nothing had happened between us, but I was so bothered by it, no matter how hard I tried not to be.  

“About last night, it shouldn’t have happened, and I am sorry because it happened as a result of my carelessness”  His voice was so calm, it was almost deadly, as if he was warning me subtly to take it like that and not argue. 

Well, lucky for him, I had accepted my fate long ago and had no plans to dispute something that wouldn’t change and would only end up as a waste of my time. 

“I know it shouldn’t have happened, and I am happy we are on the same page”  

He suddenly had a pinched expression as if he wasn’t expecting me to just agree so easily. He must be used to girls crawling and begging whenever he rejects them. 

To me, he didn’t deserve that. Someone who didn’t even notice that he had taken his wife’s virginity wasn’t worth it at the moment. 

“Who drugged you? And you better not lie and tell me no one or you weren’t drugged because that was not alcohol. You may have reeked of alcohol, but not enough like the way drunk people did”   

“Some girl. Don’t worry about it, it’s been taken care of”  

“What about Nathan? Where was he when you were getting drugged off your ass?”  

“Nathan doesn’t follow me to certain places”  

“Well, I hope this would be a friendly reminder of why he should”  I don’t know how someone could think he is so infallible.  

“It doesn’t prove anything, but thank you for your concern. Have you thought about something that you would like to do long term?”  

I was honestly surprised that he remembered, and it gave me a warm feeling in my stomach. I had not thought about that, but I had been thinking of giving the gallery thing a go.  

“I’m thinking of painting full-time now. A lot of people have advised on it, and I want to give it a go since I love painting. I also want to open a gallery to showcase artwork I don’t want to sell. I’ll just charge a token for entry”  

The gallery thing had been in a hidden part of my mind. I knew I wanted to open a gallery, but I didn’t want to showcase other people’s art along with mine, and I knew very few private or solo art galleries, so I had some doubts about it, but something tells me that I may do great.  

“That’s interesting. I’ll have someone look for a space or building for you where you can have both the gallery and a formal studio, and also an office. Do you have a particular location in mind?”  He asked me. I was a little disappointed that he didn’t comment or say anything about my plans and whether it was a good or bad decision.  

“No. Anywhere is fine. I don’t have a preference” I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering. 

Suddenly, I began to have thoughts about how he behaved with Samantha. I wonder if he smiled at her or laughed with her when she said something funny.  

“Okay. I’ll have someone on it,”  He stood up to leave the dining table. 

“When will I ever be enough?” I muttered under my breath. It was supposed to be said mentally, but it came out by mistake. 

“Did you say something?”  He paused when he was about to walk past me, but I shook my head, so he left me alone in the dining room.  

“God, you are so stupid, Hazel. Get a grip on yourself,” I scolded myself.  

I tried to keep on eating, but my stomach protested, so I left the dining hall as well.  

There was nothing to do, and I did not feel like painting. I wonder how full-time housewives were able to do this shit especially those that didn’t have kids.  

It was night, so it wasn’t like I could go somewhere. Well, I could, but I was scared of the dark, and the numerous crime documentaries I had watched were to blame for my paranoia at night, but I think I could probably hang out until late if I were with friends.  

I went to the kitchen and grabbed ice cream because I was craving it. I took the small bowl to my room so I could eat it while browsing through my phone.  

With the way the rooms were designed, I had no way to tell if he was still awake. I lingered in the hallway before I entered my room.  

It didn’t matter what I tried, sleep seemed to be far from me today, and my mind kept wandering back to the previous night involuntarily.  

The way his body and mine were a perfect fit. His hot mouth over mine, the way he sucked every inch of my body. Unconsciously, my hands traced the hickeys littered on my cleavage. It’s still a wonder that Danielle didn’t see them.  

Heat pooled between my legs, and I became aware of the moisture that began to form. The thoughts in my head felt so real. I could feel and touch him in my head. I bit my lips to stop the moan from escaping between my lips.  

I hated and loved the way my body reacted to him, even though he was on the other side of the hall, fast asleep, having zero thoughts about me. 

My hands followed the trail down my stomach and entered the pool of heat. I gasped at how wet I was down there. Pleasure clouds my senses as one hand becomes two, then three, moving so fast that the only face I saw was his own. 

I was so lost in the pleasure, not that my fingers brought, but the pleasures of last night. It felt so real as they clouded my thoughts again. 

My hand worked faster to bring me to my peak but my mind saw it as him fucking me hard. Intense shock waves rolled over me as orgasms hit me hard, but not as hard as last night. It’ll do for now.  

I pull my dripping fingers from between my legs and wipe them against my nightwear wear too lazy to stand up and clean myself. All I can think of is how fucked I was now.