Chapter 62 Little Shamed Heat
Ryker was fully awake.
“Lyra,” he said hoarsely. “Are you okay?”
She blinked down at him, startled, her hair falling like a curtain around her face. “Yes.”
His eyes moved down her body.
“Then what are you doing here?” he demanded, pushing himself upright. And then he realized exactly where she was. Lyra was straddling him on the couch.
Ryker reacted on instinct.
He grabbed her gently but firmly and shifted, pulling her off him and holding her back as he sat up. “What the hell are you doing?” he snapped. “Lyra, what is going on?”
She stared at him, wide-eyed, clearly offended. “I just wanted to sit.”
“On me?” he asked incredulously, his voice rough with sleep and something else he didn’t want to name.
“That’s the only couch in the room,” she shot back.
Ryker glanced around, irritated, and cursed under his breath when he realized she was right. There was just one large couch. No chairs.
Still, his expression didn’t soften.
“Lyra,” he said carefully, “what were you really doing?”
She looked away like she was ashamed to say it. Then she finally blurted, “Fine,” she said sharply. “I wanted to kiss you.”
Silence fell between them.
“In my sleep?” he blinked and asked finally when he could find his voice. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
She shrugged defensively. “Since you won’t listen to me when you’re awake, I figured you might be less stubborn asleep.”
His laugh was sharp and humorless. “That’s not how this works. You can’t just fuck me in my sleep.”
“You don’t know that,” she muttered.
“Lyra,” he warned.
She lifted her chin, eyes flashing. “Why are you acting like you don’t want me at all?”
He dragged a hand down his face, sighing in exhaustion and apparent frustration. “I had a very long night at patrol, Lyra. I’m not playing games with you.”
“That’s funny,” she said bitterly. “Because it feels like you are.”
He opened his mouth, then shut it again. “I don’t want to cross a line we can’t come back from.”
“Why?” she demanded. “Don’t you find me attractive anymore?”
His head snapped up. “That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” Her voice cracked. “Is this about Tessa? Or Helen? Or Sierra?”
He hissed and stood abruptly. “When will you stop saying all that?”
“When you stop avoiding me.”
“It’s not about Tessa. I’m done with her.”
“And me?” she asked quietly. “Are you done with me too?”
He turned back to her instantly. “No. Never.”
“Then why does it feel like I’m begging my own husband just to look at me?” she cried. “First Sierra, and now this.”
“I didn’t choose Sierra,” he said sharply. “I had no choice.”
She froze. That made her stop.
“What?” she asked slowly. “What do you mean you didn’t choose her?”
He stiffened, realizing too late what he’d let slip. “Nothing.”
“No,” she pressed. “You don’t get to say that and then shut down. What do you mean you had no choice?”
He exhaled hard. “I needed her help, and she made a demand.”
Lyra stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard for cheating on your wife!”
He scoffed. “Exactly why I never said it out loud.”
“Then explain it,” she said, stepping closer.
“I won’t,” he replied flatly.
Her eyes filled with hurt and fury. “So you’re lying. You just like this. You like the sight of me standing here, humiliated, practically begging for you. It feeds your ego.”
“That’s not true!”
“You’re enjoying watching me fall apart,” she accused. “Playing with how I feel.”
“You feel nothing for me!” he snapped.
“That is not for you to decide!” she yelled back.
“I know what I’m saying,” he shot back. “I know it’s not me you want, Lyra. It’s your body tricking you.”
Her breath hitched. “What?”
He turned away.
“What do you mean my body is tricking me?” she demanded, following him. “What did the doctor tell you?”
He stayed silent.
Her anger was explosive, and she stepped in front of him, forcing him to look at her. “You will talk to me now! Ryker, I want that answer now!”
“Lyra, stop this! I’ll figure something out!”
“No! It’s my body! I’ll figure it out. What did the doctor tell you?”
He sighed and groaned loudly but didn’t say a word.
“Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep pushing me away? Why won’t you touch me?”
“Because you’re in heat,” he blurted.
Lyra froze.
“What?” she whispered.
“It’s not the full moon,” she said weakly.
“The doctor said it’s because of your half-breed form,” Ryker continued tensely. “Your body is still adjusting, and he’s guessing it triggered the heat early.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “So?”
“So this isn’t about me,” he said harshly. “It’s not me you want. This feeling you have, it’s entirely biological.”
The word stung.
“You’re telling me this isn’t real?” she asked, voice trembling. “That what I feel is just some bodily function?”
He swallowed. “Your body just wants to fuck. It doesn’t care who it’s with.”
Her eyes burned. “Is that why you locked me in here? Why you don’t want me near Dax?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
The tears came before she could stop them.
“I want you, Ryker,” she said brokenly. “Only you. Even when you pushed me away.”
“I’m doing the right thing, Lyra. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Or you simply don’t want me. Just say it.”
“There’s never been a moment I didn’t want you,” he said quickly. “Never.”
“Then why does it sound like you think I’d throw myself at anyone?” she asked softly.
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, desperate now. “I’m just repeating what the doctor said.”
“No,” she whispered. “The doctor didn’t tell you to cage me. You did that because you don’t trust me. You think because of this heat thing, I’ll just go fuck anyone.”
He looked away.
“I’m right,” she said quietly. “Just say it.”
“Say what?”
“Call me what you’re thinking.”
“Lyra, no.”
“Say it,” she insisted, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Say I’m a cheap whore.”
“I would never—”
“It’s fine,” she choked out. “You're right, I'll go be a little whore in heat elsewhere!”
She turned and stormed toward the door.
“Lyra!” he called, trying to grab her.
But she was already gone, and the door slammed shut.