Chapter 47

"Angela," tawag ni Gideon.

Umismid si Jewel at humalukipkip. Biglang nawala ang gutom niya. Ang gusto niya lang gawin ngayon ay lumabas ng bahay. Hindi niya masikmurang kumain kasama ang babaeng kaharap niya.

Umikhim siya. "Lalabas ako. I'm not hungry pala." Saka tumalikod at tinungo ang main door.

Tahimik siyang lumabas ng pinto at nagtungo sa hardin na napansin niya kanina. Umihip na naman ang hangin at hinayaan niyang tangayin niyon ang mahabang hibla ng buhok niya. Presko ang hangin sa lugar. Hindi tulad sa lungsod na maalinsangan at maalikabok. 

Naupo siya sa lilim ng puno sa gitna ng hardin at napabuntong-hinga. Inalala niya si Gideon. Ang totoo niyan ay wala namang sinabi si Tang na first love nito si Angela. Ang sabi lang ng katiwala ay gusto ni Gideon si Angela noon. Pero sadyang malikot ang imahinasyon niya kaya inisip niyang first love ni Gideon ang babae. 

And by the looks on Gideon's face earlier, she knew that she hit a spot. Totoo nga siguro ang binintang niya. Hindi naman siguro magugulat nang gano'n si Gideon kung hindi totoo ang sinabi niya.

Lumabi siya at nilibot ang tingin sa paligid. The place is a typical province. Maraming puno at dominante ang kulay berdeng mga halaman. She also saw some coconut trees on the distant place.

Sumandal siya sa puno. Hindi na niya inalala kung marurumihan ang puting bestida na suot niya. Masyadong mabigat ang dibdib niya ngayon na gusto nalang niya ay umiyak. But there's no tears in her eyes. Pagod na siyang umiyak.

Huminga pa siya nang malalim at pumikit. Pinakiramdaman lang niya ang paligid, at hindi niya namalayang nakatulog na pala siya.

Naalimpungatan siya sa pakiramdam na may nakatitig. Minulat niya ang mga mata. Mukha ni Gideon ang sumalubong sa kaniya kaya nangunot ang noo niya. "You're staring."

Tinaas nito ang supot ng prutas. "Kumain ka muna. Mamaya, pupunta tayo sa public audi."

Tiningnan niya muna ang prutas, lumunok, saka kumuha ng isa. "Anong gagawin natin do'n?"

Inayos ni Gideon ang upo sa damuhan at ngumiti. "Makikinig."

"Of what?"

"Gospel."

"Gospel?" Nagsalubong ang kilay niya sabay kagat sa mansanas.

Tumango si Gideon. "You still believe in God, Jewel?"

Ngumuya siya at umiwas ng tingin. Hindi siya sumagot. Ang totoo, hindi naman siya relihiyoso. Pero alam niyang may Diyos, kaso hindi naman siya nagdadasal o nagbabasa ng tinatawag ng mga tao na Bibliya.

Saka, hindi niya gustong makarinig ng kahit anong bagay na patungkol sa Diyos. Ewan, pero mayroon sa kaloob-looban niya na umiiwas sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa Diyos. Ayaw niya ngang marinig ang sinasabi nitong gospel. Hindi niya alam kung bakit, pero ilag talaga siya sa Diyos.

"Jewel," tawag ni Gideon.

Kumagat siya ulit ng mansanas. "What?"

"I haven't seen you praying. Do you believe in God?"

"I know that there is One out there," walang pakialam na sabi niya.

Bumuntong-hinga si Gideon. "You know that there is God. But do you believe in Him?"

Napatingin siya kay Gideon at naningkit ang mga mata. "I know that there is God, so basically, I believe in Him. Are you happy now?"

"Knowing there is God is different from believing in Him. If you believe in God, then why do you keep on placing yourself in front of temptation? Why do you keep on sinning against Him? If you believe in God, you shouldn't go around sinning against Him."

Mas lalo lang nagusot ang mukha ni Jewel. "Sin? Did I sin against Him?"

"You don't even know that you're doing sins."

Umismid si Jewel. "Hindi ka pari para pangaralan ako. Saka, please shut up. I don't have anything to do with this... with your God."

Natigilan si Gideon sa sinabi niya. Kita pa niya kung paano umawang ang mga labi nito sa gulat. Nag-iwas nalang siya ng tingin at muling kumagat sa mansanas.

"Jewel, did you lost your mind?"

Lumunok siya. "I didn't." At umiling. "It's just that I have lived my life prayerless. I mean, nabuhay akong hindi tumatawag sa Kaniya so why bother pushing me to the edge? It's not like ikakamatay ko kung hindi ko malalaman ang lahat ng bagay tungkol sa Kaniya."

"You're..." Paulit-ulit na huminga nang malalim si Gideon. "I-I thought you're a believer..."

"Believer?" Naalala niya ang sinabi ni Sean. Napapitik siya ng daliri. "Believer of the gospel of Christ?" Natawa siya. "Hindi ko alam kung ano 'yan. Care to share it to me?"

Napabuntong-hinga si Gideon. Parang nakahinga nang maluwag. Nagbaba ito ng tingin at huminga na naman ng malalim. "The gospel is the burial, death and resurrection of Christ.

For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures. (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)"

Umayos ng upo si Gideon at tumingala sa kalangitan. Walang masyadong ulap. Isang kumpul ang nando'n sa itaas at dahan-dahan 'yong gumagalaw tungo sa isang direksyon. Napatingala na rin siya. Hindi direktang tumatama ang sinag ng araw sa mata niya dahil sa mga dahon ng puno.

Bumuntong-hinga si Gideon. "You know that there is God, but you are godless."

Napatingin siya rito. "What do you mean by that?"

"You know that there is God, but you don't recognize Him. If that is the definition of believe, then people aren't truly save because believing is not only knowing God, but following Him."

"Following?" Nangunot ang noo niya. She smirked. Nabuhay ang interes niya dahil sa sinabi ni Gideon. "Well, how could people follow God if He is unseen? Like, paano mo Siya susundan kung hindi mo Siya nakikita? What you've said is insane."

"That's why God, in His eternal presence, came down from heaven to experience the life of a human being."

"Hmm... you're saying Jesus?"

Napatingin si Gideon sa kaniya. "You know His derived greek name?"

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "People always say that Jesus came down from heaven. So I guess... He's the one you're pertaining to."

"Yes, I say Jesus. That name is derived from the greek form of Hebrew's name, Yeshua."

"Yeshua?"

Tumango si Gideon. "Yeshua means Lord's Salvation. That is the original name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth."

"Yeshua..." Napaisip si Jewel, saka napangiti. "Nice name. So tell me, who exactly is Jesus?"

"He is the Son of God."

"How come He become a Son of God when he's a man?"

Napangiti si Gideon. "You know that He is a man."

"Of course. Nakikita ko kaya pictures niya sa paligid. They're all around!"

Natawa si Gideon. "Don't be deceive. That's not really the face of Jesus. People want to have something to see so they will believe."

"What?"

"You know, Jewel..." Bumuntong-hinga si Gideon at umusog sa tabi niya. Sumandal din ito sa katawan ng puno at tiningnan ang kalangitang walang ulap. "I will tell you that Gurman has two faces."

"Huh? Who's Gurman?"

"Someone."

"Someone with two faces?" tanong niya.

Tumango si Gideon. Ilang segundo niya itong tinitigan bago natawa. "May tao bang may dalawang mukha?"

"Ayaw mong maniwala?" Sumulyap si Gideon sa kaniya.

Natatawa siyang tumango. "Show me an evidence that someone named Gurman has two faces, then I will believe you!"

"What evidence do you want?"

"A picture? That's a strong evidence you jerk," sabi niya.

Lumapad ang ngiti ni Gideon. "Now you know why people keep on making a portrait or picture of Jesus."

Natahimik si Jewel. Nawala ang anumang sinyales ng ngiti sa mga labi at manghang tumitig kay Gideon. Napapitik siya ng daliri. "That's it?" Tumango ito. Naningkit ang mga mata ni Jewel. "Well, I don't understand?"

"People makes portrait of Jesus because for them, it is hard to believe in someone they don't see. If they have a picture of Jesus, then it is easier for them to believe that Jesus exists."

"That sucks," komento niya. "What if mali pala ang picture? I mean, hindi 'yon ang totoong mukha ni Jesus?"

"Then they are doomed," malungkot na saad ni Gideon. "They are doing idolatry which God hates."

"Pero..." Kumurap si Jewel, "May totoo bang mukha si Jesus? Like description or some sort of?"

"Of course." Umaliwalas ang mukha ni Gideon. "We can read that in Revelation chapter 19.

His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself.

He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God.

And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses.

Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it, He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.

And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS

Jewel, by this description, a picture is not enough to describe the holiness in Jesus Christ. So we must not rely our belief on pictures that don't even show the true nature of God."

Napatingala si Jewel sa langit at napaisip. "So sinasabi mo na dapat hindi tayo umaasa sa pictures para maniwala kay Jesus? Pero sabi mong mahirap maniwala sa taong hindi mo naman nakikita. So how come you believe in Jesus if you haven't seen Him?" Tumingin si Jewel kay Gideon.

Ngumiti si Gideon. "I don't need to see Jesus to believe in Him, Jewel. I just need to feel His presence."

Nangunot ang noo niya at tuluyang humarap kay Gideon. "Presence? Like a ghost?"

"No." Umiling si Gideon. "More than that feeling..." Humarap si Gideon sa harap at tumingin sa malayo. "His presence is like... a wind."

"A wind?"

"Do you feel the wind?"

Tumango siya. "Yes?"

"Do you know where it come from?"

Napaisip siya. Tapos umiling at ngumuso. "I don't. But I can feel it moves around me."

"Do you see the wind?"

"Of course not!" Natawa siya. "Silly. Why did you ask that? Do you see the wind?"

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ni Gideon. "No. But God's presence is like that of a wind. You don't know where it come from, and you don't even see it... but you feel it."

"Oh, merely emotion?"

"No. The presence of God is brought by His Spirit, so faith is not an emotion-driven event."

"It has to do with faith?"

Tumingin si Gideon sa kaniya. "Yes."

"What? I don't understand you."

"You don't understand because only the spiritual understand this truth. But I tell you this... faith is not an emotion. Faith comes when the Holy Spirit touches your spirit, and the Holy Spirit can touch your spirit the moment you hear His Word."

"Touches my spirit?" Mas lalo siyang naguluhan. Anong ibig nitong sabihin?

"That's..." Nagusot ang mukha ni Jewel. "I don't understand!"

Ngumiti si Gideon at tinapik ang balikat niya. "I pray to God that you will someday see His glory. If you'll see His glory and if you'll feel His presence... Jewel, it will turn your life upside down. You will never be the same again.  You... will never be the same person again."