Chapter 53 Happiness
He couldn't help to smile as he gaze at the beautiful woman lying on the other side of his bed. She's a temptress, an enchantress, and a gem that he valued the most. He just couldn't believe that she was now his wife, all his. He has been dreaming for this day to happen for such a long time. He had loved her since the time she left and realized what he lost. That's also the time he decided to change himself to be worth on her. He couldn't just believe that his dream finally came true. She was now his wife and it damn feels so good.
This really felt amazing. I never want nor love any woman as much I love her. She was my happiness, my pride, and my weakness. If she only knew what I did to have her, she will surely hate me more but she's all I ever prayed and wish to have. I just can't imagine my future without her...
Remembering their wedding a while ago, a warm smile painted his lips. When he saw her walking down the aisle, he couldn't help his tears to fall down. She was so stunningly beautiful wearing the traditional white dress. She's probably the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on. He could even remember blinking his eyes twice and breathing savagely trying to figure out if its a dream or not. How his heart throbbed as she came nearer. He never felt so nervous and excited in his whole life just like the way he felt that time. The anticipation, the happiness, and the agitation. Damn, those mixed emotions are killing him but he loves everything about it at that moment. When the priest ask if he does accept her as his lawfully wedded wife, he undoubtedly said yes. Man, it's his greatest dream so why would he say no? He loves her so much that he's willing to give her everything he got. He wanna spend the rest of his life with her and die lying in her arms through his old and weak years. It might be cliche but that's what he feels. She is his wife, his queen, and his better half.
When the questions were asked back to her, she stopped for a long moment and that gave him jitters. He secretly wiped away the sweat that started to pop out in his forehead as he swallowed an imaginary lump out of nervousness. He has to admit he got nervous and at the same time worried about what if she changes her mind? She was against the marriage and he just forced her to marry him in the first place. With the fear he knew was written on his face, he looked at her deeply in the eyes as if trying to plead her and turn her back on him. He noticed her staring at him deeply as if her eyes were searching for something in his eyes. Her beautiful hazel eyes are mixed with different emotions. It was something akin to love, care but at the same time doubts and fear. But for what? And when she turned her face to the priest as if she made up her mind, God knows how he mumbled words of gratitude when she finally said yes.
When he stated his vows, he held her gaze and look deeply into her eyes trying to express what he deeply feels for her. The curiosity was written in her eyes as she stares at him. He felt the doubt and worries that cross her eyes but he held her hand gently then put the ring on her finger as he deliver his vows trying to show her he means every word he was saying.
I will love her for richer or for poorer, hold and protect her, comfort and cherish her, for better and for worst, until death does us part.
Tears streamed down his face. Funny but he never thought he will cry. He couldn't help it. What can he do that's what his heart really feels and he is just following what it wants to do. Shock was written in her face it's as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She smiled warmly as her eyes also turned teary. His heart suddenly meltdown when he saw her cried too. He knows she got his message, he only wishes she will believe him because he does love her more than she could ever imagine.
When the priest gave him a blessing to kiss her, he kissed her passionately without further ado. He wanted to express his undying love by that kiss hoping she will get his message. To show her his strength, weaknesses, his joy and fear were only her. He felt her uneasiness at first but when he kissed her deeply, he felt happy when she responded with equal fervor and intensity. How he pray deeply that she will feel how he was devoted to his promise to love and protect her, to cherish and make her happy the best way he can. He just stop kissing her when they both heard the loud applause of their guest and realized they had almost forgotten where they are.
Watching her deeply sleeping beside him after their hot and steamy lovemaking, it's the best feeling ever. He had bedded so many girls in the past and some of them are maybe great in bed but only Bea made him feel amazingly alive and contented. He never felt fulfilled and satisfied with any woman beyond her probably because he was the woman he love. He couldn't help to caress her soft cheek as a warm smile drew her lips. She was so adorable even when she was sleeping. He loves everything about her and she was the best thing that happened to him. He came more closer and wrapped his arms around her when he felt her move a bit. He can trade everything he has as long as she was his for this lifetime. She is his sanctuary, his home, and his life. He will protect and love her at all costs.
It just felt so right holding her this way. I know I went too far to have her. I even play dirty to the point of blackmailing her just to marry me. What can I do I just can't bear to see her with any other man but me. She was mine, all mine so I did what it takes to have her completely. I know I was such a manipulating bastard but she's just all I wanted. I never wanted so much in my life. It was only her.
When I found that she's carrying my child, God knows how I felt so ecstatic. I admit I convinced her more in marrying me when I reasoned out it's for our child's sake but more than that I really am thankful because she's carrying my descendant. She was the only woman I ever dreamt to bear my children and I'm glad it came sooner than I expected. We're having a baby and I plan to have more. We will build a happy family together and I'll cherish and protect this marriage at all costs. I won't let anyone nor such situations that will tear our union apart. I'll serve as her safe haven protecting her from pain. I'll fight for her. I will protect my family.
He knows she hated him. He forced and blackmailed her so many times to get what he wants but he never regret or wished to change everything that he had done. If given a chance he will do it all over again. He was selfish and vicious but he don't care. He was aware that she hated him more when he got her pregnant but taking her is the most wonderful feeling she never felt with any woman. She was too precious and fragile. She didn't know she was a virgin but he was so happy to know he was the first. He shouldn't kidnap and force her but he was so desperate to have her. You see desperate times call for desperate measures and God knows how he felt bad when he saw her looking guilty for what happened between them. They both like what happened and it hurts him how she avoided her after that. He then started to manipulate everything and forced her to marry him. He must be losing his mind, yes, but there's no other way to completely have her so he did the only way but wicked option to make her his. For his love for her, he's willing to do everything even to play dirty just to have her. He loves her so much that's why he did all of those things. He was selfish, desperate, manipulative, and vicious but he doesn't regret everything he did.
And now that he has her, he will try his very best to have her heart. It will never be easy knowing he made huge damage to her heart before plus all the manipulations and blackmails he did. One thing for sure, he will never give up on her, never! He will do everything until she'll learn to love him. If he has to woe her each and every day and give her anything that would please her, he will do it. He will give anything just to make her smile again the same way she used to eight years ago. If only he could bring the past, he will never hurt her. If only...
He missed her genuine concerns, innocent and adorable laughter, those endearing and thoughtful stares. He missed the old Bea he fell in love with. Although he still loves the new Bea now he can't help to feel bad knowing he's the reason why she changed herself. He broke her young heart, shattered her, and that made huge damage to her self-esteem. He was a total jerk before and he still feels a jerk until now for making her hate him. He will not stop until he will earn her forgiveness. He remembers he promised himself that if he ever had her again, he will do everything in his power to make her happy. Well, he has the rest of his life to prove that promise.
He smiled mischievously when he looked at her wife's face again. He must have tired her because she slept so soundly in his arms. She was so warm and soft, so beautiful just like an angel. He will never get tired of watching her sleep for sure. He was even afraid to close his eyes and fall asleep having the fear to wake up one morning realizing she was gone and everything was all just a dream.
This is how he views his own happiness. His arms around her as they both lie in the same bed sleeping together and waking up every morning together for the rest of their lives.