Chapter 41 - The Visitor

"You don't have to say something..."

"I'll be honest to you. I don't want to give you a false hope. I only see you as a friend," I said honestly while directly looking on his eyes. He was brave for doing the same, but he kept quiet. "I know that I'm already hurting you by saying the truth, but I hope you understand me. I owe you a lot, but it doesn't mean that I will be obliged to love you back. You deserve better, Draco."

"I don't want better if she's not you," he replied bitterly.

"W-wait. Where are you going?" I asked after he stood up.

But he did not answer and just walked away without even looking back. I was not able to stop him from leaving because it seemed that he wanted to be alone. I wanted to give him the time to be alone. I also did not have the courage to comfort him because the main reason of his sadness was me. I made him sad. But I did not mean it. I knew he was hurting inside. I had hurt such a kind person who did not fail to stay by my side. But what could I do if what I only wanted was to tell him what I really felt?

I went home alone but mama did not ask why Draco was not with me. She did not raise any question about Draco even she got used to see Draco walking me home. Maybe she knew something about what happened because they jive together. Maybe Draco already told her about his plan to confess. I assumed that mama knew what my response was and that she would be happy for me no matter what.

Days passed, and Draco was still there to accompany me whenever I had somewhere to go and every time I was going home from our campus. Maybe he was just fulfilling his promise to mama that he would ensure my safety. But there was something with him. His treatment to me was so cold. He was not talking to me with ample time unlike before that he kept on telling me stories about his life and he almost did not want to stop talking to me. He barely smiled. But I could not blame him for what he was acting because I was the one who made him like that. I knew that I should be thankful because he was not leaving me yet. But I could not avoid thinking of his burden. I did not want to be a double burden to him. A burden on his shoulder and a burden in his heart. He did not deserve any pain...He did not deserve me because I could only bring pain to him.

I felt guilty most especially when he was around. He always came to my classroom, so that he could walk me home. But since he admitted that he liked me and I told him what I felt for him, he stopped doing it. He started waiting me outside the campus, near the gate.

"You look good together," Maybelle said after we went outside the campus. "Mrs. Kaede Clemento? Sounds great."

"Maybelle..." She stopped teasing us the moment she heard that I said her first name completely. I knew that she already knew that I was not in favor for what she was doing. It was not her nature to tease me with someone, but I did not want Draco to get insulted since we both knew that we could not be in a relationship because the problem was me.

"Take care. See you tomorrow."

"Take care too," I replied and smiled to her.

Mayb just smiled to me and Draco before she went inside her car. She had her own car and of course, a driver. Draco did not have a car, but he had his own motorcycle. He did not use it often and I wanted to walk than to ride a motorcycle. I knew that he chose to understand me that was why he also chose to walk every time we were going to school from the house and vice versa. But when we were going somewhere far, we were using his motorcycle.

"Let's go," I said and smiled to him but yet he did not say anything nor smile.

We walked quietly. He was with me, but I could not feel him. It really felt awkward for me. Plus, the time seemed to pass sluggishly while we were together. The surrounding was noisy because of the people's noise and bicycles' sounds, but the space between us was invaded by seniority and coldness.

"Mama, we're here."

The door of our house immediately opened and there was my mother smiling to us. "I'm glad that the both of you are already here. Someone is waiting inside. Hijo, do you want to come inside? Have a coffee with my daughter and her visitor. You know her visitor...Dego Calleja."

"I's like to but I have somewhere to go, ma'am. Maybe next time," he answered and tried to smile. He did smile but it was a bitter one. A bitter smile. It was really hard to smile when you were hurting.

"I see. Take care, and thank you for bringing my daughter home, hijo."

"Welcome, ma'am. Bye to the both of you," he said and flashed a bitter smile again.

"Take care. I'm really sorry," I uttered.

But I got no answer. His bitter smile...That was what I received. He walked away without saying any word about what I said.

"I feel guilty, mama."

"He needs time, but he'll be able to accept the truth sooner or later. Don't blame yourself." I knew that mama was trying to make me feel better even though I was really guilty.

I was not able to reply to her because there was really Dego widely smiling to us the moment we entered the house. I thought mama was just kidding when she said that I had a visitor.

"Hi. Why are you here? Do you like coffee, tea, or juice?" I immediately asked after I sat on the couch in front of him. I did not change clothes because I did not want him to wait.

"I'm here to invite you!" he said enthusiastically. I was as clueless as a cat, but I had managed to smile at him. "It would be exciting if you'll join us. You can bring Draco with you if you want to."