Chapter 74 Chapter Seventy Four: Can't Hate My Father

Chapter 74 Chapter Seventy Four: Can't Hate My Father
The door finally opened, and my step mother stood there.

For a moment, she simply stared at me. Then her expression changed.

“Lior.”

She suddenly looked so happy to see me that it almost made me uncomfortable.

“Hi.”

She stepped aside. “Come in.”

I picked up some of the grocery bags while she reached for the others.

“You bought all this?”

“Hmm.”

“Thank you.” Her voice was warmer than I remembered. I knew why. She was glad to see me, and she was even more glad to see the groceries.

I didn't blame her for that.

I followed her inside and placed the bags in the kitchen.

The house looked smaller than I remembered. Or maybe I had simply grown.

She began sorting through the things I'd bought, asking questions about some of them while I gave short answers.

Then she told me my father was outside.

I found him sitting in the backyard.

He was smoking.

I stopped when I saw him. He looked older, much older. His face was thinner, his hair had more gray in it, and his body seemed weaker than I remembered.

For a second, I couldn't reconcile this man with the father I remembered from childhood.

“Dad.”

He looked up. “Lior.”

I walked closer.

My stepmother came out behind me.

She sat beside him and looked at me. “The doctor said he has liver disease.”

My eyes immediately went to the cigarette between my father's fingers. “You have liver disease and you're still smoking?”

He shrugged. “The doctor said drinking caused it, not smoking.”

I stared at him. “That doesn't mean smoking is good for you. You don't like being healthy?”

“I've been cutting down on drinking.” He said it like he doesn't like the idea of drinking less.

“Then quit smoking too.”

He took another drag. “I can't.”

“Why?”

He looked away. “If I'm dying, I don't want to spend my last days miserable. What else is there in life if I can't drink and smoke?”

My chest tightened. “You're not dying.”

He looked at me. “You don't know that, the doctor said my liver is in a bad condition.”

“You're not dying.”

I didn't know why I said it so firmly. Maybe because I couldn't accept anything else.

My stepmother sighed, and said: “Lior, the treatment will cost a lot of money.”

There it was; the reason she had been so happy to see me.

“We're already drowning in debt. We can't afford everything he needs.”

I looked at my father. “What did the doctor say is the way forward?”

“They want more tests,” she answered. “Then they'll decide what treatment he needs.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I'll come with you to the next appointment.”

She looked surprised. “You will?”

“Yes. I want to hear what the doctor says myself.”

Her expression brightened. “What about the money?”

I looked at her. “I'll provide it.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Lior.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out some cash.

“Take this for now.”

She accepted it immediately. “Thank you.”

“I'll call to check on him. If anything happens, call me.”

“But we couldn't reach you.”

“I'll give you a call.”

She nodded.

I looked at my father one more time. “Take care of yourself.”

He gave a small nod. “I'll try.”

I turned and walked away.

The moment I stepped outside the gate, I stopped.

I couldn't breathe properly. The memories came rushing back; I remembered hiding around here to avoid my father, I remembered running through the hallways with my heart pounding, I remembered hearing my father's drunken shouting and knowing I needed to disappear before he found me, I remembered being chased, being hit, being called names, I remembered curling myself into the smallest shape possible and wishing he would simply forget I existed… and I remembered wishing my mother were alive. I wished she could have been there, I wished someone had stood between us; someone who would have told him to stop, someone who would have protected me.

Tears were already running down my cheeks.

I wiped my face with my sleeve.

My father's favorite thing was telling me how much he hates me, how he wished I was an Alpha instead, how he couldn't wait to marry me off for dowry… he hated me so much.

The stupid thing was… I couldn't hate him. I wanted to. God, I wanted to. It would have been easier if I hated him. If I could look at him and feel nothing but anger, maybe watching him grow old and sick wouldn't hurt so much.

But he was still my father.

The man who had hurt me was also the man whose death I couldn't bring myself to wish for.

I hated that contradiction. I hated that most part of me still cared.

I started walking.

And somewhere between one street and the next, Adrian came to mind.

The man who had bought me a whole house. He noticed I needed somewhere safe to live, without me having to say anything about it. He prioritized my safety more than me. He looked at me like I was worth something. He had given me things I had spent most of my life learning not to expect from anyone; safety, affection, attention… a place where I didn't have to be afraid.

I lowered my head as another tear fell.

And that was when the other thought came; Adrian wasn't mine, he belonged to someone else. He had a wife. A family. A life that existed long before I came into it… and yet I wanted to hold on to what we had.

I wanted to keep waking up beside him. I wanted his hands on me. His voice, his stupid possessive kisses, the way he looked at me… I wanted all of it. Even knowing how wrong it was.

Maybe that was why everything felt so frighteningly fragile lately. Because I finally had something beautiful, and beautiful things could disappear.

I wiped my cheeks again, but the tears wouldn't stop.

I didn't know if I was crying because my father was sick, because of everything he had done to me, because I still loved someone who couldn't completely belong to me… Or because I was terrified that the one good thing I'd found could disappear too.

If I was being honest with myself, I'd know that I don't deserve someone like Adrian. I don't deserve the life the Alpha is so willing to offer me. I've always been unfortunate, how dare I think fortune would grant me Adrian? My mother died from the birth complications I caused her, my father hates me… how dare I seek to be loved and cared for?

And in the hands of a married man?