A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure. – Henry Kissinger*
Helen knew that it was over. Long before her husband had said it was. She knew about the other women. And his other children.
She wasn’t an idiot. When the kids were younger, she just pretended everything was fine. As they got older, they knew it wasn’t. The youngest, JD, was now in his senior year and there was no hiding it.
Bob had moved out seven months ago. He called the kids on a regular basis but she didn’t know if they talked or not. It was not all his fault. She was not innocent in letting their marriage fall apart.
She didn’t have a lover and a second family stashed away. But she was just as guilty.
When they married twenty-four years ago, she was not small, but she wasn’t this big either. Three kids, thyroid issues and low self esteem added a hundred pounds.
Or more.
The alarm across the hall went off letting her know that JD was awake. It was Wednesday which meant he had a weekly run with the other Navy recruits. She heard him go through his morning routine and then his keys jingled as he left.
After Bob left, Helen could no longer keep up with the mortgage and had to sell the house. After paying off the mortgage, they split what was left, per the divorce decree and state law. Bob had put a down payment on a new house for his new family. Helen paid for her second hand car and she and JD moved into the two bedroom apartment.
With her weekly paycheck, she could pay her bills, feed herself and the bottomless pit of a teenage son and have enough leftover for her one indulgence.
Her nails.
The lady at the nail salon always saved her Saturday morning appointment for her. Saturday morning at 9:45, Helen would be sitting in the massage chair with her feet in the little tub. Bian would pick out a color and not let Helen see until everything was done. Nail art and everything.
The eighty dollars could be spent more wisely. But she enjoyed her time to herself. A little bit of pampering and she could face another week.
Rolling out of bed, she made her way to the only bathroom. That had been a big adjustment. But they were doing well now.
She did miss the big soaker tub. Stepping under the spray of the shower tub, she doubted that she would be able to get into this tub.
If she were honest, getting in would not be the problem. Getting out? That would probably require oil. And a crane. Possibly fire fighters.
Giggling at the thought, she wondered if she could get the hot fire fighters from TikTok.
She washed her hair and added the conditioner to set as she washed herself. Once she deemed herself clean, she rinsed her body and hair. Then she stepped out and used a beach towel to dry off.
JD had talked her into getting them when he found out that the complex had a pool. She was NOT going to the pool. Not in a swimsuit. Not in a cover-up. Not even in a circus tent. It was not happening.
But she liked the fact that she could wrap the towel around herself. Combing out her hair, she let it hang down her back to dry. Looking in the mirror, she saw herself and again didn’t blame Bob for leaving.
Five feet four inches and two hundred and sixty pounds. Mousy brown hair with traces of gray. Light brown eyes saw it all. Cheeks too round. Laugh lines and crows feet.
Flabby arms. Large gut. Thighs that not only touched, Helen often wondered if she were part mermaid. Yeah, she could definitely be mistaken for a mermaid. Or at least a manatee.
She finished her make-up and blow dried her hair before going and getting dressed. It was early August and she was already hot this early in the morning. Just add tht to one more reason for Bob leaving. Menopause, although her doctor called it perimenopause. She didn't see that there was a difference.
The dress that she chose was a golden brown and had multi colored fall leaves on it. Simple gold hoop earrings and the bracelet her kids gave her were the only jewelry that she wore. It had been over six months since she took off her wedding band, she still wasn’t used to not wearing a ring.
Grabbing a jacket and her lunch from the fridge, Helen walked out into the morning light and began her thirty minutes bus commute to the office she had worked at since she her marriage ended.
The new owners of the building she worked at would be there today. At least they weren’t getting rid of her receptionist position.
Yet.
She knew that one of the lawyers in one of the firms wanted her gone. The woman constantly complained about the fat receptionist that could be replaced by a security guard. Or a kiosk.
As if Helen didn’t know that she was fat, the woman who ran marathons on the weekend liked to let her know.
She really wanted to tell the woman off. Helen always had a smart reply, which never got said.
"I have a mirror, yes, I see how fat I am."
"Really? Oh my God! Is that why I have to buy a size 2X?"
"I'm so glad you told me. I've only had this body for forty-three years, I never knew I was fat."
"That’s because I have more personality than you. I keep it tucked between my fat rolls."
Helen often wondered what the woman's reaction would be if she said anything. But she liked her job. Even more, she liked the benefits of her job. You know, the ones like being able to pay rent. So her comments stayed in her mind behind her smile. While hoping and praying that her tears did not fall.
Arriving at the building, Helen set up the three coffee bars in the large lobby. The blinds were opened slightly to allow the morning light in. Then she settled into her desk and opened up her computer.
Twenty minutes after eight, she was called into the building supervisors office. Smiling nervously she sat in the chair he indicated.
“Helen, I want you to know that most everybody here is upset over this. The owners are doing away with your position. But one of the offices upstairs would like to speak with you.”