Chapter 47—Aiden

Maksim is sitting up today, and the tubes have been removed from his face. There’s just two IVs attached to his wrist: one to monitor his vitals and the other for medication.

He’ll be moved on Friday. A few days more than the week we were originally told, but a necessity neither of us could argue against.

I’m glad to see him looking better and even happier he’s alive.

I’ve been coming to see him every day, and I flew Irina over to take care of Aleksei when I’m not with him. I guess, though, she takes care of me too.

We’re all feeling the loss of Ilya. I had to wait a few days to tell Maksim because he wasn’t really out of the woods yet. When he asked for Ilya, telling him the truth was one of the hardest things I had to do.

At least today, he looks brighter.

“Hello, cousin, hope your hospital visits don’t make you go soft on me,” he chuckles weakly.

“Not a damn chance.”

“Good, because soft wouldn’t suit you. Ilya wouldn’t stand for it either.”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

Sadness comes into his eyes. “When is the funeral?”

“I was thinking of arranging it for a month’s time. We’re the only family he had left, so I’m basing it on your recovery. We go over to L. A., then fly to Russia.” I thought that sounded like the best thing to do.

“Thanks, that sounds good. I still can’t believe he’s gone. I feel like I don’t know what to do when I get out of here. It’s always been Ilya and me, even before you picked us for the leadership. It’s not going to be the same with someone else.”

“No, it won’t, and I don’t trust anybody else to fill his shoes the way he did.”

He stares back at me, and I know it’s because I said that word. Trust.

“And do you trust anyone at all after what happened?”

“I trust you,” I reply effortlessly, and it feels good.

He smiles at that. “I’m glad you do. I think you did all along to some extent, but you didn’t want to wholly trust me. I meant what I said about never betraying you.”

“I know, and you took the same bullet your father took for mine.”

“You’re my cousin, and we are Bratva, the Voirik. That is how we live.”

“And we are the way we are because we grew up like brothers. Only a brother would do what you did for me, and I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. We can move forward from this and be better, stronger.”

“This is my hope.”

“Have you spoken with Olivia?” he asks carefully.

“No. I won’t be speaking to her. The Syndicate wants to catch up with Eric when we get back, and I think I have a job for him, but that’s it.”

“What do you mean that’s it? Why the fuck does it have to be it? You loved her. I won’t even say you liked her. You fell for her, and I think the hardest fall is the kind I witnessed in you.”

I take a measured breath and study his face. “And, that's why I can’t do it. I shouldn’t, so I won’t. It’s better this way. I need to focus on Aleksei. I can’t split myself up when I should be focusing on my boy. I can’t include a woman I feel so strongly for in my life.”

That sounds like bull shit even to me.

“I hope you change your mind, but I support your decision.”

The nurse comes in, and that means it’s time for me to go.

“I will be back tomorrow,” I promise.

“Bring that kid of yours to see me again.”

I smile at that. “I will.”

I give the nurse a polite nod, and then I leave.

Every time I walk past this section, I remember that last night I saw Olivia. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn’t know it was going to stay with me and haunt me.

I thought when you do the right thing, it should feel right.

I don’t, and all I can do is remind myself that she should do better than being with a man like me.

I knew I was never going to be able to keep her.

Every time I looked at her, I knew it. Even when she unlocked my heart, I allowed myself to love her.

I knew I couldn’t do it. But I did it anyway.

I used to think Gabriella was it for me. I couldn’t imagine feeling this way again.

People think you find love again to fill the hole your first love might have left behind. But that’s not what happens. The same way there will never be another Gabriella is the same way there will never be another Olivia.

Two different women who had a massive effect on me. Neither ever belonged to me, even if I called them mine.

Like Gabriella, Olivia was my weakness, and the same thing would undoubtedly happen again to her.

Whether my enemies come for her to punish me, or I do something to mess it all up. I would ruin us.

Being with me would be the death I spoke of for her.

It would be destruction and the end of dreams. The killer of hope and wishes and life.

That is the life I have chosen as Pakhan, whether it chose me or I chose it.

That is who I am. Aiden Romanov.

***

This is the first Syndicate meeting we’ve had this month, and it’s probably the most interesting since Eric Markov is joining us via a video call.

With the exception of Maksim, all the bosses and their counterparts are here. That makes eight of us and Eric.

It’s been two weeks since the showdown in Brazil and his rescue. He shaved, so he really looks young, like a kid, although he’s thirty. He is a kid to me since I’m thirty-six.

It’s his tattoos that make him look as hard as the rest of us.

He’s just spent the last hour briefing us on the Order and what he went through. We’ve just been listening.

“I tried to escape several times, but I couldn’t,” he explains. “I knew I’d be needed to clear a few things up, but every time I tried to leave, the punishment got more severe, as did the torture. I couldn’t have gotten out of there without you guys.”

“Well, this wouldn’t have happened without you,” Massimo motions his hand to all of us in the room. “We wouldn’t have known there were more people involved in our fathers' deaths, and I wouldn’t have reformed the Syndicate and led it. I think now that we know you wrote the letter, everything is now resolved.”

“I wished I’d done more than just write that letter,” Eric says. “It’s not my style to run away when danger is on the horizon. I had to, or at least I thought I had to. The weapon my grandfather designed was powerful, and I realized why he abandoned it. He didn’t want it falling into the wrong hands.”

I’m interested to know about that weapon because it was never completed.

“Eric, were you ever close to completing the weapon?” I ask, cutting in.

When he smiles, Dominic chuckles. “You did it, didn’t you?” he says, and Eric nods.

“Yeah.”

“I knew it.”

Eric smirks, and I can already see he and Dominic will get on just fine.

“Let’s just say my grandfather, and I spoke the same language. When I realized nobody else would know if I did things right or wrong, I used that to my advantage. It was what kept me alive. I knew the moment I created what they wanted, I’d be a dead man, and there’d be no one to protect my family.”

“Wise move,” Massimo says.

“Yes.”

“What was the weapon?”

“It’s called the Crucible. It’s an electromagnetic device that can send off a pulse to disable anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything from a car to a spaceship, guns, planes, subs, literally anything. With the press of a button, a plane could just fall out of the sky. Just like that, and no one would be able to do shit to stop it. And you can localize it or have it do a number of them all at once. You could make the world stop or cause a war. Anything. That’s why my grandfather didn’t finish the product, and neither did I.”

Fuck me. The man is fucking dangerous.

“Jesus, you can do all that?” I ask.

“I can. That’s what I do. Design weapons for national security and other people. That’s why Markov Tech was so good and coveted. I was a dead man walking, but most of what they sell now is stuff I designed. Of course, some are my grandfather’s designs, but he stopped building things over ten years ago when he saw what I could do. I build weapons, and I write codes people aren’t supposed to be able to crack. You guys cracked them, though.”

“Barely.”

He chuckles, and I feel more assured with what I want to offer him.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about the Order anymore. I found out about the plans to destroy our fathers by accident when I saw a message I shouldn’t have seen. But I had no idea who exactly was involved, just that there were more people. That’s why my letter was so vague.”

“It was enough. You’re sure there are no more threats from them?”

“No more, at least not that I’m aware of. Jude was a small fry and only in it for himself, but he packed a punch. I wish I didn’t get involved with the Order, and I’m embarrassed to sit here before you, still a member when they were responsible for so much.”

“Well, we’d like to change that,” Massimo declares, and we all look at each other. “We’re all here today because I’d like to ask you to join us. My first plan when I decided to reform the Syndicate was to ask all the heirs to join me. So I ask you as Phillipe Falcione’s son to join us if you will.”

Eric smiles wide at that and places his hand on his head. “I would be honored. Yes. Don’t I have to belong to a group or something, though?”

“You do. But we’ve talked about that.” Massimo looks at me, and I straighten up.

“You are Bratva,” I begin. “So I’d like to ask you to be my new Obshchak.”

I find it hard to get the word out because I wasn’t going to replace Ilya. But I think a man who guided me to my son and to safety by whatever means is someone worth keeping—definitely one whose trade is security and weapons.

His mouth drops, and he looks astounded. “Me?”

“Yeah. The man whose shoes you’ll fill if you accept would have chosen you if he were here. I think you will do very good in the Voirik and the Syndicate.”

“I accept. I… I’ve always wanted this. It’s who I am. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“You’re welcome.”

Now we feel complete, and I think our fathers would have wanted this.

I just wish I felt complete too. It still feels like there’s one more piece of the puzzle missing.

The puzzle of me, the man.

As much as I don’t want to accept it. I knew I felt complete when she was with me.

Olivia.

As I stare back at Eric, I wonder how she is and what she’s doing.

This is the first time I’ve known what the missing piece of the bigger picture was and where to find it.

I’m just choosing not to.