Chapter 40—Olivia

It’s so beautiful here.

I’ve only ever heard of Brazil’s scenic beauty and picturesque landscapes.

As I gaze out the window of the little villa we’ll be staying in and watch the birds flying around, I wish I could have been here under better circumstances.

I only hope I can leave here in a better situation than I came.

It’s late morning, and Aiden is downstairs with the other guys preparing for the day. They’ve been down there for a while. I can only imagine they’re talking strategy on how to get inside the place where Eric is.

The majority of men were already here when we arrived. The others accompanied us on the flight from L.A. along with two other guys who sat close by us. I heard Aiden call one of them Massimo, and I realized that was who Eric’s letter was for.

It was him I delivered the letter to, and I’d never met him until yesterday. And, even then, I didn’t really meet him.

Aiden just kept me with him, which was fine.

I’m aware I didn’t exactly make the best impression with how I got here, and I’m used to people being reserved around me.

What I’m concerned about is how this will all end, and even though I know I’ll be sitting here waiting, at least I’m close to the place that holds all the answers.

The door opens, and Aiden comes in.

I push away from the wall and ready myself to hear what’s going to happen.

I don’t know much about what’s supposed to happen today or what he’ll be doing.

I’m sure he’s been vague on purpose since I shouldn’t be here. I just wish I could do more to help.

The whole thing serves as a reminder that I was way out of my league when I first left San Francisco and thought I could save Eric. Even if I had managed to get some information, I don’t know anyone aside from Aiden who could have pulled this off.

“We’re leaving in five minutes,” he states.

“Will you be away for the day?”

“I don’t know yet. We’ll have to play it by ear. We’re going to scout the facility. Of course, if we see an opening, we’ll take it. The goal will be to find Eric and get him out. If we can do that today, we’ll do it.”

He walks over to the suitcase and pulls out a little black duffel bag.

“Come here to me,” he says in his habitual way. This is just the first time he sounds authoritative. There’s nothing remotely close to the sexy, alluring manner I’m used to.

It all alludes to what’s going to happen when this is over. He barely looked at me last night, and except for his arm around me as we slept, he hasn’t touched me.

I felt like maybe he slept with me like that to keep me close. To protect me.

I move over to him, and he unzips the bag.

Inside there’s a stack of cash, a little lunch box, a cell phone, what looks like t-shirts rolled into a ball, and then a Glock.

I swallow hard when I see that, and I press my lips together when he takes it out.

“This bag is yours,” he says.

“Mine?”

“Yes. Now make sure you listen to me. I don’t know this part of the world. We’ve got some solid backup but never rely on anybody else to keep you alive. The only person you trust to do that is yourself. You understand me?”

I’ve never seen him look so serious.

“Yes.”

“Good. If you as much as hear anything that doesn’t sound right, get out of here. Get as far away as possible from the danger and keep yourself hidden. Call Irina with the phone, and she’ll send help that will get you out of Brazil and reunite you with your mother. Her number has already been programmed into the phone.”

“Irina?” I wouldn’t have thought she would be able to do such a thing.

“All my staff are trained to assist in emergencies. If I were to trust anyone to get you out of here, it’s her. So do as I say.”

“I will.”

He holds up the gun. “Ever used one of these before?”

“No, but I’ve held one.” At Jude. That was the instigator for my month-long punishment. I must have held that gun for less than a minute, and what happened after damaged me for a lifetime.

“All you need to do is line it up, aim for the head and then pull the trigger.”

I’m wondering what’s caused him to get so worked up—more than what’s already going on.

“Is there something else happening, Aiden?”

“I just want to make sure you’re safe. It was crazy of me to bring you here, and I don’t want to leave you with anybody, but I have to.” He sighs. “My men have also been briefed about Eric.”

“Don’t you trust your men?”

“Not with you,” he confesses, holding my gaze. “But I can’t allow my inhibitions to get the better of me. So I’m leaving Ilya here with you. His job is to protect me with his life. Now he will do the same for you. Nevertheless, I need you to be able to protect yourself. I don’t know what could happen today. The retaliation could be bad.”

“Okay.”

I just noticed something. He never mentioned coming back or seeing me later. He just zips up the bag and leaves it there.

“If you get Eric, what will happen then?”

“The Syndicate will get you both home,” he replies. “You’ll go straight back to San Francisco today. I imagine they’ll want to question Eric before releasing him, but in a nutshell, that’s what will happen. Then I’ve arranged for them to deal with Jude. You won’t have to do that part yourself. They will honor the alliance they once had with your grandfather on behalf of your father, and you will never have to worry about anyone bothering you again.”

I’m touched to hear that. Hearing it gives me goosebumps. He’s given me the door to happiness, a gateway to freedom, but my heart yearns to know what will happen to him.

“What about you?” I ask carefully.

“I will stay here until I find my son.” He pauses for a moment. “Then we’ll go back to L.A.”

So, he’ll go back to L .A., and I’ll go to San Francisco. There’s no mention of actually seeing each other along the way or after.

I’m not stupid. I know what he means, but yet I feel like I should ask the question. If only to hear the answer in clear words so I can accept it.

“I’m not going to see you again after this, am I?”

His gaze clings to mine, and those ice-blue eyes become as guarded as that first night I saw him at the club.

“No.”

“Why?” I breathe out.

He dips his head for a second, and when he lifts it, the pain I’ve witnessed several times comes back into his eyes.

“I’m not a good man, Olivia. The life I live is exactly the kind of life your grandfather didn’t want you to have. It wasn’t about closing the door on the Bratva. It was the danger—the constant danger threatening your life. I am the Pakhan of the Voirik. That means I’m death to you. Anyone who truly loves you would never want that for you. If… I truly love you, I can’t keep you.”

A cold knot forms in my stomach at his words. It’s the effect of love lost.

Love lost before it ever really began.

“Aiden, I—”

“No.” He cuts me off and shakes his head before I can get the words out, and a lone tear slides down my cheek.

He turns and walks away, leaving me with the rest of that sentence lingering in my mind.

I love you too.