Chapter 29

Noah:

“Well shit,” Pippa sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against the hallway wall. She’d cornered me, forcing me to tell her what happened the day before. I’d wanted to leave the kids out of it and take care of those bodies before things got even more out of hand. That didn’t work out.

“It’s over,” I said. “They’re both dead.”

“You know as well as I do that there wasn’t just two of them. They probably have buddies that are wondering where they went off too, and someone sent them along.”

Yeah, I did know that. I’d just hoped Pippa hadn’t thought about it. A kid had no business being worried about something she had no control over. That was up to me and Reagan to worry about.

“I can’t believe they just stood there poking at you,” my sister sighed. “How stupid could people get?”

“They thought we were too weak to do anything. They probably thought that meant we would be too cowardly to lash out and start trouble.”

Pippa’s hip cocked out as she thought about it. “They could feel it, right? That we’re weak?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t bother lying. Everyone already knew the situation. “It’ll be over tonight.”

Pippa pressed her lips together. “When’s your challenge?”

“In a couple hours.”

“You really sure you’ll win?”

“Doesn’t matter what it takes. I’m not letting Leon kill me. This is my pack, I have my mate, and tonight I’m going to prove that Reagan is more than enough. She might have doubted her own power, but I couldn’t. Not anymore.

Pippa moved off the wall, stopping just short of taking my hand. She patted my arm instead. “I’m sure you’ll do great. Leon is a little bitch.”

I smiled to myself. “I think a lot of people would agree.”

My sister dropped her voice, moving slightly closer. “Are you okay? Like, with Reagan? I know what she saw.”

I didn’t know if the rumor had made the rounds in the pack, but I didn’t like that Pippa had that information. It meant that the other kids probably knew too. I had killed before, but the occasions had been rare. I didn’t want my siblings to think about me taking a life. I’d always protect them, but they didn’t need to know the details.

“Reagan is fine,” I said, and I left it at that.

As if she’d heard me, Reagan appeared. She had Allison on her hip, giving my sister kisses all over her face. Allison giggled, pushing away at Reagan while at the same time leaning into it. Reagan tickled her shoulders and Allison almost collapsed in her hold.

“Hey,” Pippa said, a big smile on her face as she went to collect Allison. “How about I give the fresh mates a few minutes alone, huh? Ally, you wanna have some cookies?”

The girl gasped. “Cookies!”

“I’ll take that to mean yes. Now, for every cookie I give you… you must get Noah to let me have a kitten.”

Reagan didn’t say anything until the girl move out of earshot. She came closer, her arms winding around my back. Her chin pressed against my chest, gaze aimed upward.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Are you referring to something specific?”

Reagan’s hands glided up my back and then down again in a constant, comforting motion. “If it were someone else, I might assume they were worried about someone trying to kill them later. But since I know you, I’m referring to what I saw yesterday.”

My body felt a little colder.

I hadn’t seen the look on Reagan’s face when I used magic, so I didn’t know what her initial reaction had been. Of course, she wouldn’t have acted disgusted after the fact, but I wanted the truth. What would it have even changed? We were still mates. That didn’t go away. At least, it wouldn’t have for me. With only one half of a mate bond, Reagan’s heart could move on. It would be the Mend that made her stop.

“I would have told you what I could do,” I said. “I didn’t know how to.”

She shrugged. “You could have just told me. I told you what I can do.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Is it not? I used my magic to kill someone, exactly the same as you did. Why should I not be as ashamed as you seem to be?”

“You make light. What you do is beautiful.”

Reagan cocked an eyebrow at me. “Did you forget that I’m a magic thief? When the sun goes down, I can strip people of everything that makes them feel real. I can fill them with so much darkness that they forget what the light even looks like.”

I didn’t see that as ugly. It only looked like defense to me. “What I can do, it was enough to make my father hate me. It was enough for him to think it was why Mom left.”

Reagan reached up to cup my face. Her thumb brushed my cheek. “Noah, your father was a fucking asshole.”

I sputtered on a laugh. “Oh, is that it?”

“That is entirely it,” Reagan said. “So what if you make people rot? Really. So what?” She took my hands, putting them on her face and making sure my palms and fingers pressed against her skin. “It’s okay if you don’t like what you do, but you shouldn’t be ashamed. I’m not.”

I didn’t know what to do with acceptance. I wanted it, having Reagan not bothered by the truth. There was still something sour to it. My father’s voice lingered in my head, and the sting of that would always remain.

“We should go over what’s going to happen tonight,” I said, clumsily changing the subject.

Reagan noticed, but let me have this one. “Okay.”

“Everyone is going to be there tonight. Allison is old enough to go now too, so don’t worry about her. We’re all going to shift, and I can keep an eye on the kids when we’re running. After the shift, you can head home. I’ll be back with the kids at sunrise.”

Reagan’s hold tightened a little. “Is this if everything goes as we’re hoping? How will we know if it works?”

“I’ll feel it,” I promised.

“Noah!” Pippa called up from downstairs, cutting us off. “Can you come down here for a sec?”

I didn’t want to end the conversation before Reagan knew everything she needed to. But since Pippa called up to me again, I had to go take care of it. Reagan followed, which didn’t surprise anyone.

I hadn’t expected to find Catharine in my living room, but there she stood, watching me and Reagan walk down the stairs. Pippa didn’t even say anything before taking Allison back upstairs. I heard the other kids playing in the sunroom, so I knew they couldn’t listen to us.

“Afternoon,” Reagan greeted. “What can we help you with?”

Catharine looked tired. Her hair lay in frizzy tangles, sweater and jeans wrinkled, and those bags under her eyes were new. I could only imagine it got exhausting having such a mess as a family.

“I need a favor,” Catharine said. “It’s a lot to ask, but I need it.”

I already knew what she would ask, but I made her say it anyway. “Go ahead.”

“Please don’t kill my mate.”

I heard Reagan breathe in, hold it, and then breathe out again. “Not to sound like a jerk, but your mate is pretty intent on killing mine. And because of that, I know how terrifying it is to be afraid you’re about to lose a mate. That being said…”

“I know.” Catharine nodded. “I know, really. I’ve spent the last day trying to convince Leon not to do this. He refuses to call off the challenge and I knew I couldn’t get him to fold. I was hoping I could at least get him to agree to fight to submission.”

I snorted. “Do you think he’s going to make me submit?”

“No,” she said without hesitation. “I love him more than anything, but he’s hurt, he’s blinded by anger, and you’re the alpha. There’s a reason more alpha positions aren’t usurped. It makes you something special, being born an alpha. It means you have something the rest of us don’t.”

I exhaled. “I don’t want to kill Leon. Our pack is too small as it is. But I’m not going to let myself die so that he can live.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” Catharine said. “All I need is for you to promise you won’t kill him. You know now what it means to have a mate. If you kill him, I don’t know how I’d live without him. We’ve been together almost all our lives.”

It was my duty as alpha to protect my pack. Leon posed a danger in that he would constantly be a thorn in my side, thinking he should be in charge. But part of protecting my pack also meant the individuals in it. If I killed Leon, I would have been destroying two lives.

“I don’t want him dead,” I repeated. “If I don’t have to kill him, then I won’t.”

The relief in Catharine’s eyes did nothing but make me think of Reagan. I pictured her the one begging for my life, afraid that she would have to live without me. I would do my best to make sure that never happened, and I could at least try and spare Catharine. She’d tried and made up for my shortcomings in the last years. I could do this for her.

“Thank you,” the woman said. “Thank you so much.”

It turned my stomach to hear someone thank me for not murdering the love of their life, but nodded anyway.

“Keep him in check,” Reagan warned. “Things are too shaky to deal with someone constantly questioning our leadership.”

“I will,” Catharine promised, and bowed before she left our house.

***

Strange, feeling tension in the air when I couldn’t even see anyone but Reagan. It happened the moment we stepped out of the house, and it lingered in the silence around us. That silence beat in my head like drums, as if I needed another reminder of all the things hinging on tonight.

When I looked up into the sky, the moon was full. The slight twinge of blue already leaked into its edges, even in the daylight. We had five hours until the sun set, and five hours until we would see if the moon would give back as much as we’d always thought we ourselves gave. Reagan would be enough. I knew she would be enough.

I walked with her to the same spot that she’d had her challenge only a few days ago. People passed us, and it seemed purposeful when they didn’t look our way. I could feel their tension, and I wondered how much it had to do with the challenge and how much was for the moon.

More people had gathered to watch me than they had to watch Reagan. Maybe because they didn’t want to see what they’d thought would be a slaughter. Alex hadn’t even come, but Catharine stood with her mate, speaking low to him. He no longer had a cast, his skin still looking purple from the damage. If he got lucky, it would heal the moment he shifted.

“Sir,” someone said. I turned to see a man named Reeves coming toward me. He’d been part of the clean-up crew yesterday. “Have you heard anything new? Do we know if others showed up yet?”

I sighed. “Now really isn’t the time to talk about it. Don’t you agree?”

His pensive expression told me he didn’t. “I understand, but people have been asking me and I don’t know what to tell them. They’re scared that people are going to figure out how weak we are.”

“We aren’t going to stay weak,” I said, my tone snappier than I’d intended. The man flinched, so I pulled back. “After tonight, none of this is going to be a problem.”

“Yes, sir, but they might come anyway. We’ll be strong enough to fight them off if this all works, but is it not something to worry about that people might come anyway?”

“Not really. Not if we can take them out.”

He swallowed, looking unsure if he wanted to speak his thoughts. I would rather hear the concerns than ignore them because he thought they would be disrespectful, so I told him to go on.

“We’re still small in numbers compared to other packs,” Reeves said. “Of the hundred people we have, a lot of them are children. Our magic could grow, but we don’t know the sort of things out there that know we’re weak. Didn’t Reagan come from a place with bigger numbers? I’ve heard people worry they would show up looking for her.”

Reagan had her arms crossed, a serious look on her face. “I won’t lie and say I’m not worried about that too. I honestly have no idea how many of them there are.”

“What do we do about that?” Reeves asked.

“I have no idea,” I admitted. “We can worry about it tomorrow.”

Reagan tugged on my sleeve, getting me to turn and face her. Worry lines were carved into her face. I could smell the fear on her, feeling her nails bite into my arm. They had been so short when I’d first met her. I welcomed the pain that she gave me. I could even push aside the constant wondering of how the hell she could be so strong.

Reeves dismissed himself without me having to say anything. It was clear by how the crowd moved into a circle that my time was up. Reagan knew it too.

“Don’t let him get the drop on you because you don’t want him to die,” she said. “I know it’s selfish, but I would rather you live than him.”

“We’ll both live,” I promised.

Reagan gave me a long, deep kiss before she let go of me again. I’d been just as worried for her as she was for me now, so I understood why her hands shook. I wished I could say something to make her believe this would be fine.

“Do what you need to do,” I heard from Adam. I turned to see him watching me. I didn’t like looking into his eyes. Especially now. I’d heard him say so many times that I looked like my father. It always stung, and those words always lingered. I didn’t want to hear them today.

“I’ll be fine,” I said, answering his worries.

“I know,” Adam said. “And that’s because you’ll do what you have to do. You’re alpha, and that’s more important than anything else.”

I could read between the lines. He would have known Catharine had come to see me, trying to get sympathy from a newly mated person. It had been wise of her, and it worked. It mattered less to Adam. He didn’t want to watch his Mend die twice, and I couldn’t help how much I reminded him of my father.

“It’ll be over soon,” I said to Reagan, dismissing Adam before I started walking away.

Leon and I started taking our clothes off. Catharine held her hands out to hold Leon’s, but I dropped mine to the ground. Reagan stared off into the distance, her heart beating fast. I heard it like it beat right at my ear. I still had nothing to say, so I would have to settle for showing her that it would be fine.

“On my count,” Reagan said as we began to shift.

Once in my other body, I aimed myself at Leon. Wanted to kill him for how worried he made my mate. Could only feel her, sensing how afraid this made her. Wanted to kill Leon for that alone, but had other reasons too. Put my pack in danger, wanting to take my power. Wouldn’t kill him today. Could give his mate one chance to fix him before I took out threat.

“Two,” Reagan said, counting down to the challenge as I walked away from Leon. “One,” she breathed, and then it began.

Leon had a hurt paw. I did that. Could still remember how he sounded when he screamed. Good. Deserved worse. Deserved to suffer for how he worried Pippa too. Pups shouldn’t have had to worry I would die. Pups shouldn’t have to worry about anything.

Leon leapt at me, teeth bared and claws out. He was weak. Slower than me by a lot. Only twenty years older but might as well have been fifty for all the strength I had over him. His teeth snapped shut, just shy of my shoulder. Landed hard, whimpering when his damaged paw hit the ground.

Took advantage of the time I had. With everyone watching, turned and clamped my teeth down on his injured paw. Leon howled in pain. Bit down harder so they could all hear his pain. So they would know not to challenge me. Would always lose to me.

Wanted to look back and see Reagan. Wanted to see how she would be watching me with pride, impressed with how skilled I was. Unwise, because looking away would expose my throat. Leon would go for killing blow, not caring that he would end me in front of my mate. Wouldn’t be so cruel to him. Not if he didn’t force it.

Ripped myself away, chunks of fur and flesh torn from Leon. Tasted blood and would have spat it out if I could. He came for me again, stupidly trying to clamp down on my tail. Whipped it away first, but his teeth grazed my thigh and tore flesh. Hurt, but trade was needed. Better my thigh than my tail getting broken.

Leon went for another attack, snarling before teeth came for shoulder again. Bit him first, moving faster. Tore at him more, intent on making it so he felt this for the rest of his life. Wanted to do so much damage and knew that it wouldn’t matter by sunrise.

Had to end this fast. Every second we fought, Reagan worried more. She’d hurt so much in her life. Couldn’t be responsible for even more.

Turned on Leon again. His paw bled, hanging in the air because he couldn’t put weight on it. Went for other paw, missing the first time. He dodged me, snapping at my ear. Missed both times. He’d lost a lot of blood.

Finally, closed teeth around arm. Another howl came out. Heard his mate gasp in fear as she wondered if I would keep my promise. I had several promises to keep, and I wouldn’t fail any of them.

Knocked my head against Leon’s, feeling pain but ignoring it. He swayed, stumbling and landing on his worse paw. Another howl, and then another hit. Couldn’t seem to stay steady, and wouldn’t take much more before he went down. I could show him that death wasn’t always needed to win.

Leon wouldn’t submit. Hit him harder, bit down harder as well. No submission. Left me no choice but to do what Reagan had done. Bashed my head against Leon’s harder than any of the times before, aiming for the same spot. The hit landed, and Leon wavered again. Blinked, and then went down.

All went silent for several seconds as I turned. One by one, my people bowed to me. It was over, and I saw Reagan take a breath before rushing to me the same way Catharine rushed to her mate. Felt warm arms around me. Reagan kissed my face all over, telling me she loved me and was glad I hadn’t been hurt. Said nothing of how impressive I was, or how striking I had been. Forgave her because I knew she was upset.

Licked mate on her throat, letting her know I loved her too.