Chapter 66 Chapter 66
Benji
I was shocked that Jojo said maybe she shouldn’t have decided against an abortion so soon. I mean it’s a human inside her it’s like killing but then again, I had to pull myself away from my own feelings about the subject and think about her. “Angel, I know it looks like a big mountain laying in front of you, and I can’t tell you what to do with your body the only thing I want to say is……” I waited for a second giving her time to say something. “I know you will get through this I know you will be the best mother any child can wish for, I know you will do anything and everything to keep this child safe.” She didn’t say a word she just looked at me or was she looking through me I didn’t know. “Abortion is not something I believe in Benji if that is what you are worried about but when you look at it from my point of view. I’m single I’m away from anyone I’ve ever known, I’m not even finish with my degree yet and now I have to raise a child and get my career of the ground on someway or another.” “I totally get where you are coming from and that is why I said I’m not going to tell you what to do with your body the only question I’m going to ask and then I’m not talking about this again is; Will you be able to live with yourself if you go through with an abortion?”
Jojo
I didn’t believe in abortion I never thought I would be in a position where I even have to think about the deed and not just the word, but everything looks so dark and heavy in front of me. I don’t want this child to suffer because of a mistake I made or because I can’t be the mother he or she needs. Yes, I heard what Benji said I would be a good mother, but how? I didn’t have a very good example of how a good mother should be. Counting my calories, making sure I exercise and making sure I go out dressed in Channel, Louis Viutton and Vera Wang is not exactly how I see myself of being a mother, or is that already an improvement from my own mother? To be honest I wasn’t really thinking of really going through with an abortion the thought just crossed my mind a few times a day when I don’t know how I’m going to make it on a bar maids’ salary. “Maybe you should give yourself time to settle into your new life in Orlando before you make very big decisions.” I nodded at him because he was right, I should give myself time to settle in and he was also right to ask will I be able to live with myself if I go through with something like an abortion? I’m very sure I wouldn’t be. “You right I’ll take it day by day before I make any decisions.” “Good and don’t make rush decisions please angel I’m begging you.” “Okay I won’t.”
The pilot informed us we are close to Orlando and we should get ready for landing. To be honest I’ve only been to Disney world in Orlando when I was 10, but it was the happiest time of my life that I can remember my mother didn’t count my calories I could eat what I want and my dad actually laughed at some of the rides they both even went on the rides with me. That was the only reason I chose Orlando and well I knew there was a few very big law firms and I wanted to get in at one of them. If that will be an option, now that is a whole different story. I smiled as I started to see Orlando approaching. “You smiling?” Benji said surprised. “Yes, Orlando was the only place I’ve ever been happy with both my parents. But I have to add that was when we were in Disney World.” “So that is the actual reason you chose Orlando?” “Part of the reason the other part is the firms that is in Orlando.” “Oh, I see.” As soon as the airplane’s wheels touch the ground there was a lot of feelings that came over me it’s very hard to describe, it was a feeling of thankfulness that I’m away from my mother and father and also a feeling of excitement, for new beginnings but then at the back of my head there was a voice that said, ‘Will you be able to make it on your own?’ All these voices were screaming at me and I didn’t know which one to listen to. “You, okay?” Benji asked as we got up from our seats. There was no answer to give him except “I will be.” Because come on, I have to learn to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions from now on. There will be no one to tell me what to do or how much I can eat or when last did I exercise? There will be no one to follow me to the shops, no body guards just me Joelle Warren, maybe I should change my last name? When we got in the SUV that was waiting for us realized once again this is something that will never happen again. My mother, father and I always flew in my father’s Jet and was dropped right in front of the plane and with Benji the same thing, so I have to say good bye to this and fly like a regular person not that I think I will ever have money to go anywhere. I was finally seated in the SUV; my suitcases were in the back of the SUV when Benji got in I didn’t work the conversation up to my question I just asked him “What do you think should I change my last name?” He looked at me totally shocked.