Chapter 16

We were halfway to Abby’s car when I heard my name.

“Ditching class already, Isobel?”

I glanced over my shoulder to find Luc.

He sauntered over the way boys do, and I waited patiently while he took in my hair color in the daylight.

He gave a nod. “Dramatic. I like it.”

“Good for you.”

He glanced around. “Where you headed?”

“Not your concern.”

“Hey, throw a guy a line. I'm trying to be nice here.”

I stepped away from the car and pressed my hand to his cheek. “No need to try, Luc. You're exceptionally nice already.” I needed him to go away before Abby picked up on what was happening.

Of course it was too late, because she was already forming her inquisition in her mind; it was all over her face.

Luc didn’t seem to notice.

“All right I’ll go, but first, there’s just one thing I’ve been wanting to do.”

“Really.” My eyes narrowed.

“Yeah. And I need to do it now, before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what? Or should I say, who?”

His hand trailed up my neck then rested on my cheek, his fingers tangled in my hair.

“No. You can’t—" My voice was muffled, I could barely hear it over the thudding in my chest. Was this what it felt like before? Was this what it was like to be human? To feel human? Butterflies in the belly all the time?

“Why? Are you with someone?” came his throaty reply.

Good question. I saw myself with Adrius, saw our path together, saw our future... but the truth of it was, I was not with anyone. I was alone. And I'd been that way for a very, very long time. I shook my head. “No, but—“

“Then it doesn't matter the reasons why."

Before any further protests could escape my lips, he leaned in and kissed me. On the mouth, quick and demure. Over before it began.

He pulled back a little to gaze into my eyes. “Now we can avoid that awkward first-kiss-goodnight moment later.” He smiled.

Okay seriously. That smile.

I curled my arms around his neck and pulled him back. This time our kiss went on for a while. A long while. In that moment, I didn’t care if it was proper behavior to kiss him before even going out with him. I just went with the desire. His lips were firm and soft and felt so good against mine.

I'd been kissed before. A lot. But never like this. There was an unexpected hunger in the way his mouth explored mine, and despite my hesitations, I found myself returning it with equal passion. His hands knotted in my hair, tugging me closer as he pulled in my lower lip. Without thought, my hold tightened.

It wasn't until I heard a gasp of surprise that we pulled apart.

“Okay. Enough. You two are sickening. Honestly. I just threw up a little.”

I pulled back from Luc's mouth a little. “Don’t be crass, Abigail.”

“Oh, I'm the one being crass right now? Not the two people sucking each other's faces off?” She rolled her eyes.

I exhaled loudly. “Fine, we're done now.” I rested my hand on Luc's chest to demonstrate my resolve.

His pretty lips pouted as he narrowed his eyes at Abby. “Maybe later we can pick up where we left off... without interruptions.”

“Great plan, Romeo,” Abby snapped. Then she gave me that look with her eyebrows arched all the way up. “Well?”

“All right. All right. I'm coming. Off to see the wizard and all that.”

I climbed into the car, waiting for Abby to get in. My fingers drifted up to my lips. Kissing a human boy. Nice. Very nice. I could now check it off my to-be-experienced list.

The moment she was strapped in, Abby started firing.

“So, you’re kissing Luc now? Is that wise? You know considering—" Her angry dark eyes roamed over me.

I fingered the tips of my hair. “It wasn’t a binding spell, Abigail. It was a kiss. I’m not going to suck out his soul or anything, so relax. I’m just experimenting with this whole being human thing. You know, full immersion.”

She pursed her lips. “Yeah, well, I can promise you that Lorelei doesn’t go around kissing random dudes she barely knows.”

No doubt of that. That girl wouldn’t know fun if it bit her on the cheek. “Well, maybe she should. Maybe she does. In fact, I think you'd be surprised to know how may dudes Lorelei’s been kissing.”

Abby heaved a sigh, shaking her head.

“I said I wanted to experience my sister's life. I never said I wanted to be her.” I shuddered at the thought.

“I get it. The inside of your head is like a Pin board of hot boys. But you couldn’t possibly have known each other for more than a second. What’s this really about?”

“It’s about trying to make the most of a boring stay in a boring town in a boring world,” I said.

“I see. You think dating a human guy, one you didn’t have to magically compel to be into you, will give you what? Some sort of relief from your splintered heart?”

My heart wasn’t splintered. It was fractured. Beyond repair. And it was not something I wanted to discuss. The pain was still too raw.

“You mortals,” I deflected. “You dowse your lives in glitter and then tell yourselves that your sequined souls make you something you're not. Happy.”

“And you think you’re happy?” She glanced at me again.

“Say what you will about my world, but those in the Nevermore know how to reach for happiness and claim it, to insist upon and demand the things that we desire.”

“The things you desire aren’t bringing you happiness, Venus. That’s the illusion,” she said. She shoved the key into the ignition and revved the car to life. “They’re only bringing you pain. Because real happiness doesn't come from things.”

I gave that some thought, reflecting on all the times I’d managed to blot out my suffering with random acts of pleasure, then shook my head. “No, I think it does.”

“Of course you do,” she said, glancing at me. “Which is why you're, well... you. And you’re kissing Luc... so should I assume you’re suddenly over Adrius now? That your epic endless-love for him is what? In spontaneous remission?"

I gave it some thought. “Of course not. But a distraction would go a long way to getting over him.” Lies. All lies. But if that was what she needed to hear...

A remote part of me felt guilty. Like I'd betrayed Adrius in some small way. Which irritated me to no end since he experienced zero guilt kissing Lorelei. It made me want to kiss Luc more. A lot more.

“Look. We have a lot to get done, and I need you to stay focused, not spending all your free time making out with Luc, jumping from one fatal attraction to another.”

“We were not making out—it was a kiss.” I cocked my head. “I might assume, that since you don't recognize the difference, you haven’t done much of either... if not for the fact that you dated Zanthiel. Hey, something we all have in common,” I said brightly.

Abby gripped the steering wheel and scowled.

****

The rest of the trip was a long and silent drive to whatever hole-in-the-ground town this sycophant Peterson was sending us to. Most of the drive was spent with me taming my inner fury over being here in the first place. When I’d requested a field trip into the human world, it was with the intention of getting to know my mother, not traipsing on one meaningless quest after another, babysitting a toddler witch desperate to try out her magical training wheels.

Abby’s dark gaze slid in my direction. “What's wrong with you? You're acting... weird. Like, weirder than your usual weird.”

I’d been sitting quietly, fuming in silence. “Nothing. There's nothing wrong with me,” I said. “I'm merely tired of being a prisoner of Lorelei’s problems. Once again.”

Abby's eyes widened. “Yesterday you were all about helping your sister out. What changed? Oh wait, lemme guess. You realized there is very little to nothing in it for you, so you're ready to bail. Right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Abigail. It’s exactly that. It has nothing at all to do with the fact that I have tasks of my own I need to see to.” And precious little time to complete them, thanks to her.

We drove through a drive-in, where Abby ordered a coffee for herself and tea for me. I thanked her as she handed it to me wordlessly and dropped three sugar packets on my lap. Then she tore open her bag of chips and set it between us.

“You’re in a mood today. I can see the little storm cloud floating over your head.” I reached into her bag to grab a chip. “So, who peed in your cereal this morning?”

“I’m not even going to pretend I know what that means.”

“Ew.” I spat out the handful of salty green grossness. “What are these?”

“Kale chips.”

“Next time, warn me when you're going to launch an assault on my taste buds, please.”

“Next time don't take without asking.”

With the pointed look she was giving me, I knew we were no longer talking about chips. She was talking about Adrius.

I shifted in my seat. “I understand how difficult this might be to comprehend, but he was mine long before he was hers. And what we had... it was special.”

“So special that you felt the need to fling yourself at Zanthiel at the same time?” she said coolly.

“The Nevermore doesn’t subscribe to mortal things like serial monogamy or long-term commitments. But when I realized that it was truly Adrius I loved, I set Zanthiel free. How was I to know he'd take it so badly?”

She was shaking her head. “You are something, you know that? You screw up not one, but two lives, then think you have the right to blow up a dozen more just to get back what was never really yours to begin with. How do you not see how messed up that is?”

Abby looked away, but I grabbed her arm. “Do you know what real magic is? What it can do to a person? To her heart? Her soul? I was bound to Adrius. By powerful dark magic. A spell, I remind you, that I did not cast. The power that drew me to him, and him to me, it transcended everything... time and space. You think free will could dissolve that?”

Abby gave me a dark look. My grip on her arm had tightened, so I let go.

She pursed her lips but then put the car in gear and set off down the road. Her gaze remained fixed on the road ahead. “But he found a way,” she eventually said.

“No. He just found an out. A loophole that gave him the strength to fight against it. The toll it took on his body... well I'm not sure anyone would think it was worth it.”

“Lorelei was worth it. They're destined to be together, Venus.”

“Are they? Or are they destined to tear one another apart? Because so far, that's all they've managed to do.”

Her hands tightened on the wheel. “And you had a crystal ball in that dungeon of yours. You can predict the future now? I think you're jealous. And vindictive and still as self-centered and conniving as you ever were. Maybe those traits were always in you.”

I looked away, gazing at the barren landscape zipping by, ignoring her hurtful words burning in my chest. Words that I’d heard many times before because I’d said them to myself. “Maybe they were. But Adrius was in my heart, before the spell transferred him to me. The binding curse only amplified what I felt. And when Zanthiel had the Necromancers brought me back to life... those feelings were heightened to levels you cannot imagine. So, yes, I was willing to destroy as many lives as needed to get what I wanted.”

I added another sugar packet to my tea and mixed it slowly. “I'm no longer that girl, Abigail. The binding curse is broken, but that doesn't mean I don't still love him. No magic this time. Just... me." I shrugged. “Fault me if you will, but I'm just a girl who's in love with a boy who loves somebody else. Even you know what that's like.”

“I think you’ve been given more than you realize. Maybe you should try being grateful for what you do have, instead of complaining about what you don’t have.”

My impatience flared. “I've been alone in my world for some time so don’t tell me I have nothing to complain about. My mother was part human. Like my sister, I was supposed to live here and have a life of comfort and music and love. And by the twitching of fate, I was resigned to live my life in a world where the dead keep falling like a relentless rain that never ends.”

Abby slid me a sidelong glance. “There is no way you can change any of that. There is no undo-slash-do-over spell where you can swallow a potion to order up a new past. Whatever happened to you happened for a reason. Find out what it is before you go assuming you were ditched for being the bad one. We all know that shoe fits, but maybe, just maybe, there was more to it than that.”

I stared out the window, pretending to ignore her, while my insides churned up acid. I’d held this anger and blame so tightly I didn’t know how to let it go. Didn’t know if I wanted to.

“We've all lost things, Venus.” She shot me a significant look.

“Yes, but I've lost decades to the darkness. Even if I'd destroyed a million forests and dozens of Neils, it wouldn't have come close to how much I’ve lost. All I want is to reclaim a fraction of it.”

Her foot slammed on the brakes. Then, with a sharp turn, she veered the car off onto the gravel shoulder. Tiny rocks spit at the window as the car ground to an abrupt halt. She twisted in her seat to face me.

“Here already?” My brows arched in sarcasm.

“I know what you're trying to do,” she said. “You think that if you stay here long enough and do all of the things Lorelei used to do that you'll become her. Absorb her life by osmosis somehow.”

“That's probably the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm not trying to be her. Why would I want to be her when I'm already me?”

“You want what she has, what you've never had.”

“What I want is to know why it wasn’t mine to begin with. That has nothing to do with me wanting to be her.” I paused to nibble my thumbnail. “She's drab and a bore. Quite frankly I don't see what all the hype is about. As for her life, well, if this is all it has to offer, there’s no question I got the better end of that deal.”

“Yeah, except for the part where you grew up without knowing your real mother.”

“I had a mother.”

“She was the wicked witch.”

“I think someone's projecting.” I leaned in and bared my teeth just a little. “Yes, she was a very wicked witch. And so am I.”

I knew by now Abby wasn’t going to back down. I leaned against the seat, heaving a sigh. “This is getting us nowhere.” I waved my hand at the cars passing us by. “Literally. And I have a lot to get done.”

She exhaled a frustrated sigh, muttered something under her breath I couldn’t catch, then started the car and continued to our destination in complete silence.

****

We pulled into a shady-looking area, and she steered the car into an empty parking lot. It was decrepit, seedy, and screamed danger. Nothing good could possibly happen in a place like this. Murders and kidnappings however... definitely.

“So, this is it then?” The door squeaked as I opened it. I climbed out of the car then slammed it shut behind me. Abby did the same.

“Just admit it. You're having a good time playing normal human girl, aren't you?”

This still? “What of it, Abigail?”

“Nothing. It’s just, you looked down your nose at all of us and yet here you are. Living like one of us and loving it. Ironic.”

“What's ironic is that I held your life in my hands barely weeks ago and I let you live to pour all of your psychobabble all over me. That's ironic.”

“Even more ironic is that now I could do the same to you. You know what they say about karma.”

“Same thing everyone says about me.” I beamed.

We approached a rather precarious-looking building.

“What happened here?” I scrunched my nose against the stench of urine assaulting me. “Drug den? Terrorist attack? And is it always this flippin' cold here?”

Abby sighed. “Only since you arrived.”

“Because I am the Ice Queen. Touché.” I nodded. I'd give her that one. But I did think this place had temperature issues long before my arrival. It was why everything looked like it had been drained of color. Bland, nearly monochromatic. And those who weren't really stood out. They shone, like tiny bits of light in the night. Luc was one of those. So was Vivienne. And, to a lesser degree, Abigail also. But especially Luc, and that surprised me. It was a quality I did not expect to see in an eighteen-year-old mortal from the human world.

“Doesn’t really matter whether you like it here or not. This life doesn’t belong to you. It belongs to someone else, and it will never be yours because you don't deserve it. You haven't earned a place here, Venus. Haven't made up for any of the pain and destruction you caused. So, go out with Luc, suck up to Vivienne, dress up in Lorelei’s clothes, and hang out with her friends, but never forget it’s an illusion. It's temporary.”

She walked off before I could argue with her. Odd thing is, I had no argument to offer. Everything she said was true, and I was sick of having it thrown in my face. Tomorrow couldn’t arrive fast enough, but tonight was different. Tonight this illusion belonged solely to me. Once we got past today and whatever this ridiculous mission of hers entailed.

I caught up to Abby as she paused before stepping into the building. “This is the location they use for dark purposes.”

“Right.” Wiggling my fingers, I cackled, “A nefarious place, perfect for sucking the witchcraft out of witches.”

“Shut it, Venus. This is serious. I get that you only care about yourself, but part of your newfound life includes a mother and a sister whose lives could be ripped apart by what they're planning.”

“I understand the scope of the consequences, Abigail. What I don't understand is how you think speaking to this man is going to solve anything.”

“I just need to know what he knows. What he's offering. Just... trust me.”

I blew out a breath. Like a dog with a big juicy bone. “Okay then. Fine. Let's go shake down some shady characters.”

Abby marched through the lobby, skillfully dodging bits of broken glass and fissures large enough to fall into. She navigated it as if she knew the place.

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you? When? And more interestingly, why?”

She ignored me as she rounded a corner at the end of a long hall.

It smelled like a lavatory mixed with rotting flesh and day-old ale. Well, this is pleasant.

When she paused, I noticed her subtly reach into her pocket to retrieve something she kept clamped in her fist.

“What’s that?”

Abby frowned. “What? Nothing.” She tried harder to conceal it.

I pointed at her hand. “You're up to something, Abigail. I can tell. You suck at being deceitful.”

“Only you would see that as a shortcoming,” she snapped.

I lowered my voice. “You're annoyed at getting caught. Understandably. No one likes getting caught. I ought to know. But now that I have, fess up. What are you really planning?”

With a heavy breath, she opened her palm. A small plastic bag rested there.

“What is that?” My eyes narrowed. “And please, do not tell me you intend to poison the man, because that could seriously mess up my thou shalt not harm the humans vow."

“I don’t want him dead,” she muttered as she twisted around, looking for the right direction. “Dead men don’t talk.” Then she darted left, down a long, darkened corridor.

I hurried after her. “So... you concocted a truth serum?” Well, this was wonderful. The baby witch had whipped up a brew that had as much chance of working as the rest of her plan did.

“Shh. Who knows who can hear us.”

I sighed. It wasn't this Peterson's life I should be worried about, it was Abby's. She was reckless and obviously thought herself far more powerful than she was.

I grabbed her arm. “Listen, if things don't work out, promise me you'll leave while you still can.”

She stopped in front of a door and turned to look at me. “Oh, you care suddenly.”

“As previously mentioned, any deaths on my watch equals trouble I'm not eager to experience.”

“Fine. You wait out here. And if you hear any signs of trouble, you have my permission to come in. Got it?”

I rolled my eyes. Were all mortals this absurd? No time to ask because Abby had already let herself into the room. I glanced at the number on the door as it swung closed, and my breath stopped.

The photos Abby had shown me in the cafeteria flashed to mind. This was the same room they’d found Camilla's body in. Hanging from a vine and stone-cold dead.