CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER TWELVE
ETHAN

After Lena stormed off, I managed to squeeze in one quick run down the advanced slope before meeting up with Alex and Ava for lunch.

I figured Lena had gone back to the lodge after our disastrous ski lesson, but the fourth spot at the table was clearly empty.

I glanced at it, half-listening to Ava's questions about how my morning went, before I finally asked, "Where’s the redhead? Off making a voodoo doll of me, maybe?"

Considering how she'd stomped off, I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of me.

I still couldn't believe I’d offered her ski lessons in the first place. Blame it on the mountain air and the champagne I’d had on the flight. But, surprisingly, spending the morning with Lena hadn’t been as terrible as I expected.

The real highlight had been seeing her blush when I asked how badly she wanted to sleep with me.

I couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at my lips as I recalled her bright red cheeks. She could deny it all she wanted, but she had definitely thought about it. I saw it in her eyes, in the way her chest rose and fell in shallow breaths against mine.

I wasn’t the only one entertaining impure thoughts.

The fall had been an accident, but the way her body had molded against mine was unforgettable. We were both wrapped up in layers of winter clothing, but in my mind, it felt like we were naked.

I could picture it clearly—her smooth skin, those curves, her irritating snark dissolving into a moan as I lost myself in her...

Shit.

I quickly grabbed my napkin and spread it over my lap, trying to hide the tension in my jeans as I reached for my drink again, praying neither Alex nor Ava noticed the way my breathing was uneven.

Whatever was in the air today, it was messing with my head. I’d come dangerously close earlier to doing something reckless, like—

“She texted and said she’s not feeling well,” Ava said, sipping her water and looking slightly suspicious. “She’s resting at the cabin.”

The news took the edge off my arousal. "She was fine an hour ago."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

Damn it. "Uh, I ran into her on the slopes."

“Lena said she didn’t go skiing.” Ava’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. “She stayed at the lodge after she picked up her phone from the cabin.”

Shit. “Maybe she went to the ski run first, then changed her mind." I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Who knows? Her mind works in strange ways."

A tiny smirk tugged at Alex’s lips.

Just then, the waiter arrived, and I was grateful for the distraction. As we placed our orders, I steered the conversation to Ava’s latest project at World Geographic magazine, where she worked as a junior photographer. Photography was her passion, and nothing got her talking like that.

I listened half-heartedly as she went on about her assignment documenting the city’s street art scene. I loved her, but I couldn't have cared less about photography.

My gaze drifted back to Lena’s empty chair. Knowing her, she probably had a mild headache and was blowing it out of proportion. Maybe.

Maybe not.

She’s fine, I told myself, as I cut into my chicken a little too forcefully.

Whether Lena was just being dramatic and skipping lunch or genuinely sick didn’t matter to me. It had nothing to do with me.

BY THE TIME LUNCH ENDED, I'D PUSHED Lena OUT OF MY MIND... for the most part. I didn't blink when Ava left to check on Lena and bring her lunch, but my muscles knotted when she insisted Alex and I hit the slopes without her.

I'd avoided one-on-one interactions with Alex all morning. It seemed my luck had run out.

I fixed my eyes on the horizon as we walked toward the triple black diamond, our conversation consisting of nothing more than the soft crunch of our boots in the snow.

We'd exchanged a few sentences here and there at lunch, but Ava and I had dominated the discussion while Alex ate quietly.

That had always been our dynamic, even before our falling out. I talked, he listened. I was the extrovert, and he was the introvert. Ava used to jokingly call us yin and yang.

I could say the same for her relationship with Alex. Her sunny optimism was as far removed from Alex's icy cynicism as the sun was from the moon, but they somehow made it work.

"Fifty bucks says Ava stays with Lena and doesn't join us," Alex said as we approached the ski run.

I snorted. "No bet. Lena always drags her into shit. I wouldn't be surprised if we returned to the cabin and found the place on fire."

Unless, of course, Lena really was incapacitated. Ava hadn't elaborated on what she'd meant when she said Lena "wasn't feeling well."

Was it a migraine? A stomachache? Was she hurt after she'd crashed into me earlier?

Worry clawed up my throat before I forced it back down. She'd stomped off well enough after my joke. She was fine. If she wasn't, Ava would've freaked out more.

Before Alex could answer, our phones emitted simultaneous pings. We checked our messages, and I shook my head when I read the texts.

Ava: I'm staying with Lena for a bit. Don't wait up for me. I'll see you at dinner.

Ava: Have fun! xx

"You called it." I pocketed my cell. I wasn't sure whether Lena needed Ava to stay with her, or if this was another one of Ava's attempts to force me and Alex to make up. Probably both. "What's up with Lena, anyway? Ava didn't say." I kept my tone as casual as possible.

"I didn't ask."

Of course he didn't. Alex only cared about two people, and both their names started with an A.

"Well, I'm sure she's okay." I slid my goggles off my head and over my eyes.

"You seem unusually concerned with her well-being. I thought you hated her."

My spine turned rigid at the implication. "I'm not, and I do."

"Right."

I ignored his knowing glance and angled my head down the hill. "Race you to the bottom."

…It was part olive branch, part distraction. I'd been handing out a lot of those lately. But if I could thaw my relationship with Lena-only a little bit, for short bursts of time-perhaps I could do the same with Alex.

It didn't mean I forgave him. I had no trouble holding onto a grudge, but actively hating someone was exhausting, especially when you were stuck in close proximity to them for an extended period of time. And these days, I was just so damn tired all the time. Even when I was physically fine, I was mentally exhausted.

Life chipped away at me, bit by bit, and I didn't know how to reclaim any of the pieces I lost.

Surprise passed through Alex's face before the tiniest of smiles graced his lips. "Loser buys drinks for the rest of the weekend."

"Considering I'm a struggling medical resident and you're a fucking millionaire, I'm getting the short end of the stick," I grumbled.

"Don't insult me. I'm a billionaire," he said. "But if you have that little faith in your skiing ability..." He shrugged. "We can call it off."

I scowled. I hated his reverse psychology bullshit, yet I always fell for it. "I have plenty of faith in my athleticism, desk jockey." I held out my hand. "It's a deal."

Alex let out a soft laugh, unperturbed by the desk jockey insult. He made a shit ton of money sitting behind his desk, so I guess I wouldn't be bothered either if I were him.

He shook my hand with a competitive glint in his eyes. "Deal."

And just like that, we were off.

We were both pros at skiing, so it didn't take us long before we were flying down the hill.

We weren't supposed to ski such a difficult run at such high speed, but neither of us had ever given a damn about such rules.

My stress from work, my tension with Alex, my disturbing new fixation with Lena....they all melted away as I entered my element.

Adrenaline pumped in my veins, fueled by the wind whipping against my face and the cold air stealing into my lungs.

My heart was a wild animal uncaged, my senses sharpened blades that picked up on every detail of the world around me the flecks of snow spraying up at me, the whistle of the wind and the quiet roar of my heart, every bump and ridge as I tore down my first triple black diamond.

A black-clad figure whizzed by me.

Alex.

My face split into a grin as my competitiveness kicked up another notch. I drove pressure onto the tip of my outside ski and blew past him.

I thought I heard Alex laugh behind me, but the wind carried the sound away before it fully reached my ears.

I made a tight turn around a jutting rock, then another hairpin turn to follow the path of the run. Most people would freak out going this fast on a triple black, but for me, nothing beat the rush of escaping death by the skin of my teeth.

Between Ava's near-drowning, my mom's suicide, and the people I saved and couldn't save-in the emergency room, Death and I were old acquaintances.

I hated the bastard, and every time I survived one of my escapades, it was a metaphorical fuck you to the reaper.

One of these days, he would catch me as he did everyone else. But not today.

More turns. More obstacles that, if I were a less experienced skier, would've landed me in the ER as a patient instead of a doctor. I took each one as they came, never slowing down, though I didn't go quite as fast as I would on a normal slope.

Alex and I kept roughly the same pace until the end, when I beat him to the bottom of the trail by less than five seconds.

Satisfaction filled my lungs. "Looks like drinks are on you this weekend." I pushed my goggles back up my head, my chest heaving with exertion. "Good thing you're a billionaire with a b, because I'm asking the bartender for the most expensive drink they serve. Every time."

"Not yet." Alex narrowed his eyes. It was always hilarious seeing his reaction when he lost because it happened so infrequently. "Best out of three."

"Changing the rules after the fact." I tsked in disappointment. "You're a sore fucking loser, Volkov."

"I don't lose."

"What do you call what just happened?" I gestured at the steep, winding trail behind us.

Rare mischief gleamed in his eyes. "Alternative winning."

"Oh, fuck off with that bullshit." But I couldn't help laughing.

Since I wasn't one to ever turn down a challenge, I agreed to the best of three, though I regretted it when Alex beat me by a minute on the second run.

The third run was even closer than our first. We were literally neck to neck until the last second, when I pulled ahead by a hair,

A smug grin bloomed on my face, and I opened my mouth before Alex cut me off.

"Don't say a word," he warned.

"Wasn't going to." My expression said it all.

"Don't feel bad." I clapped him on the back as we walked back to the lodge for dinner. "There's no shame in alternative winning. Just ask any silver medalist."

"I don't feel bad. If I do, I'll just buy myself a gold medal.

Twenty-four karats, Cartier."

"You're an asshole."

"Always."

I shook my head with a laugh. I hadn't hung out with Alex in so long I'd forgotten how fucked up his sense of humor was, though I was one of the few people who even considered it humor. Most people chalked his deadpan deliveries up to him being a dick, which...well, fair enough. Ava used to call him a robot-

My smile disappeared.

Ava. Michael. Kidnapping and secrets and thousands of lies that tainted every memory of our friendship.

That afternoon had been our closest to normal in a long time, and I'd almost forgotten why Alex and I were no longer friends.

Almost. Alex must've picked up on the shift in atmosphere because his smile faded alongside mine and his jaw visibly tightened.

Tension descended like an iron curtain between us.

I wished I could forget what happened and start over. I had plenty of friends, but I'd only ever had one best friend, and sometimes I missed him so damn much it hurt.

But I wasn't the same person I was two years ago, and neither was Alex. I didn't know how to move on no matter how much I wanted to. Every time I made progress, the yoke of the past yanked me back like a jealous mistress.

And yet, our ski competition proved Alex and I could act normal around each other even when Ava wasn't there. It wasn't enough, but it was a start.

"I had a good time today," I said stiffly, testing the waters for myself as much as for Alex.

A beat passed before he responded. I'd surprised him again. Twice in one day that had to be a record. "I did too."

We didn't speak again after that.