He is so dominant
He is so dominant
I had so many thoughts going through my mind that I didn't even realize Xavier and Winston were shaking me, trying to gain my attention. Their hands on my shoulders felt distant, like they were touching someone else’s body and not mine. My head was buzzing, thoughts crashing against each other in a storm I couldn’t quiet. I was so lost in the spiral of everything that had happened—everything I had seen, felt, and endured, that the present moment slipped away from me entirely.
"Benson." Winston said loudly.
His voice rang out like a sudden clap of thunder, jolting me out of the haze. I escaped my thoughts and immediately looked over at him. His eyes were locked on mine, searching for something, maybe clarity, maybe control. We were now sitting on the bed after washing off, and I couldn't help but get worried. My hands curled in my lap, fingers twisting the fabric of the sheets beneath me. "Yes?"
"What is wrong?" Winston asked, petting through my soft and wet hair. His touch was surprisingly tender, soothing, like he was trying to ground me through sensation alone. Each pass of his fingers helped calm the tremble I hadn’t realized had taken over my limbs.
"His back.." I mumbled, unable to speak above a whisper. The image of it—raw, marked, and violent, lingered behind my eyelids every time I blinked. I noticed them looking at each other, and Xavier remained with his same face. Still and unflinching. His expression was carved from stone, unreadable and cold. I liked it better when he wasn't so tough looking, but I knew I had to earn it if I wanted to see anything other than that. I had seen glimpses, so brief I could have imagined them—of something gentler in him. But those moments were rare, fleeting, and delicate like smoke in the wind.
"Ahh. I suppose we should tell you now, isn't that right, Xavier?" I watched as Xavier shivered from his words, but it didn't look like a good way. Not like someone reacting to a breeze. It was like his body remembered something it wanted to forget. My eyes squinted in confusion, trying to piece together the tension I didn’t understand. "Xavier and me weren't always on good terms. Our past, was somewhat similar to yours," he smiled.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, long ago our father was ruling this place and I was coming of age to where I needed to take his role. Remember he had twins, right?" Winston smiled at me very sweetly, and I already had a bad feeling about what he was saying. My stomach turned at the warmth in his expression, because I could feel the cold edge of truth hiding underneath it. I knew he was leaving out a lot of stuff but I guessed it wasn't something I was allowed to hear yet. Not now. Not until they thought I could handle it, or wouldn’t run from it.
"There was only one problem, and that was that Xavier didn't like me. So, naturally I had to keep him safe and in reach so I kept him in my room. Of course, he tried to escape but I couldn't let that happen, so, I was left no choice but to shave off his sweet, precious furs, He was devastated, but he knows it was for his own good. Right Xavier?"
I looked over at Xavier, unable to think or do anything else. My breath caught in my throat. His eyes went from me to Winston. "That's right," he answered firmly.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but for some reason I couldn't react with anything but calmness, like I was being drugged. My head was too light, my heart too heavy. It felt like my body was betraying me, refusing to react to horror with anything but numb stillness. "But.. how could you ever forgive someone for that..?" I whispered, but not harshly. My voice came out soft and hesitant, like I was tiptoeing on the edge of a line I wasn’t allowed to cross. I didn't want to upset neither one of them. I was guessing I wasn't supposed to ask that because I didn't receive an answer. The silence that followed pressed against my skin like a too-warm blanket. I was going to apologize but was interrupted by Winston leaning down to me on his lap and kissing my neck, purposefully hitting my favorite spot.
This was very distracting, and I felt as if he knew that. Of course he knew. I moaned out, unable to keep quiet. My body arched slightly without meaning to, chasing the sensation even as my mind screamed for space. "Wait.. Winston s-hah..~.. s-stop for a moment."
I could feel his smile from behind which told me all I needed to know. That smug curve of his lips against my skin sent chills down my spine. I looked up and raised my hands out for Xavier to pick me up, and he did just that. Without hesitating, he walked over and grabbed me, pulling my arms around his neck and legs around his waist. The movement was easy, practiced. He held me like I weighed nothing, like he had done this a hundred times in his head.
"It was for my own good, that's why I forgave him. I would go through it all again if it meant I could come back." Xavier rubbed my back as he spoke which was very comforting, it put me at ease. His hand moved slowly, rhythmically, like he was soothing something wild and trembling inside me.
"Like.." I hesitated, "like how I forgave you for cutting my tendons?" The words slipped out before I could stop them, delicate and dangerous.
I could feel his grip loosen slightly. Just a twitch. A hesitation. But then it was gone. "Yes, that's exactly right. You're so smart, such a smart little puppy aren't you?"
I smiled at his praise and attention, wanting more from them both. That warmth, that sense of belonging, even when it was twisted and strange, it was still something. But that reminded me. So does that mean Winston is the more dominant one between the two..? That makes no sense, I wouldn't believe that for a second. I let out a soft giggle which grabbed the attention of them both.
"What are you over here giggling about?"
I looked up and smiled at him, yawning in the process. My limbs were starting to go heavy again, the weight of exhaustion creeping in, dragging my thoughts into a haze.
"Well enough of that. We can talk about it in the morning," Xavier interrupted as he carried me to bed, setting me down on Winston.
"Are you staying in here tonight?"