Chapter 64
CAEL’S POV
(Shortly after Silas’s death, before the attack)
Silas’s demise lingered thick in the atmosphere, a choking burden that weighed heavily on me. Prior to his vanishing, he had trusted me with his words, whispering about betraying the Alpha, betraying the Pack. I was left puzzled and confused since he didn’t elaborate more. All I knew was something was amiss, but what exactly?
He had left me suspended, teetering on the brink of a precipice without a lifeline, only the churning whirlpool of unresolved queries. Now that he was departed, the solution had perished with him. What was I supposed to do? And how could I assist him?
Murder. Without a shadow of doubt, it was evident. Silas was assassinated. But for what reason? And by whose hand?
I rested on a bench surveying the practice fields, my forehead creased in contemplation. The typical sharp clarity of my thoughts felt clouded, jammed with sorrow and a biting feeling of disquiet. I hadn’t even detected Clara nearing me until she set a tray filled with treats next to me, then patted my shoulder lightly.
“Cael?” She summoned gently, her tone like a soothing salve, opposition to the chaos storming inside me.
“Yeah?” I muttered, my voice coarse from lack of use, more from tension than apathy. Weary, profoundly weary. I was more drained than I wanted to acknowledge.
“I heard about Silas,” she stated, her voice laden with compassion. “I’m sorry,” she slid her hand from my shoulder and extended it toward mine, but halted and pulled back. I desired her to contact me, but the phrases, the solace, wouldn’t emerge. I simply remained there, rigid and inflexible.
“It must be difficult,” she went on, releasing a sigh as she gazed down at the turf. “Particularly since he was the sole sentry I ever observed you interact with. It’s like forfeiting a sibling or an intimate companion, isn’t it?”
I uttered nothing and simply continued gazing at her as she proceeded. With another sigh, she settled on the turf next to me, her stare wandering skyward. “In the Moonwhite pack, where I originated. I had a companion… She never spoke much, always covert..sort of like you, but more amicable and somewhat chatty at times,” she appended with a chuckle that prompted me to grin. “But..” Her grin then morphed into a slight scowl. “She perished abruptly.”
“What occurred?” I questioned, my tone lacking its customary impassive poise. I could truly anticipate what followed when her features darkened.
“Suicide.”
“Why would she end her own life?”
“I don’t know…” She shook her head, her tone scarcely audible. “All I know…was that she was in distress and couldn’t express it. I never discovered what transpired, not even until now. It stayed an enigma, an enigma that was never unraveled and may never be unraveled.” She then inhaled deeply and gazed at me, straight in the eye. “In a manner, I think that’s what befell Silas.”
“How can you discern? How did you deduce it?” I questioned, fascinated in spite of myself.
“Shortly before he perished, he appeared distressed, so distressed and aloof unlike his typical demeanor. It was nearly as though he turned into a husk of his prior self.”
I assented. “Yeah, he truly altered in a single night. I eternally pondered why.”
“I mean,” she lifted her shoulders, shrugging. “It was simple to detect Silas’s alteration, unlike you. You’re too stiff,”
A laugh slipped from my mouth. “Me? Stiff? Isn’t that excessive?”
“Excessive?” She erupted into chuckles with wide eyes. “Most folks label you a rod. You scarcely display any feeling. While Silas….I wouldn’t claim he was precisely kind, he was sort of odd. But he was liberated, eternally joyful until all changed and now he’s deceased,” her features contorted into a grimace.
“What’s amiss Clara?”
“Nothing,” she lifted her head. “I simply hope that if something is troubling you, you’d locate someone to trust in instead of confront it solo.”
I released a prolonged exhale, a sigh that appeared to bear the load of unexpressed sorrow and unsettled queries. She was correct. Silas’s abrupt change in behavior, his distressed quiets…it all mirrored what he’d uttered before his vanishing. But what had he committed? What chaos had he entangled himself in?
And also….she just caused me to grasp how aloof I’ve been from everybody.
“Well,” She stated suddenly, rising and dusting the soil from her dress. “I brought you some treats. You should consume and restore your vigor. We require Cael, we already lost Silas. Can’t forfeit another.” She pivoted and departed before I could even express gratitude to her. I gazed at the tray, a true grin at last gracing my mouth. If only I could convey to her how I genuinely felt, but the phrases seemed ensnared, stifled by terror and the eroding ambiguity of my own existence.
I liked Clara…so much that it frightened me,but what frightened me more was the potential notion of anything befalling her, or inflicting her pain in some manner.
~
I was proceeding to my chamber to rest for the evening, but something within me persistently urged that I ought to inspect Silas’s chamber. After a period, I resolved to heed my gut. There wasn’t much there, tomorrow his belongings would be cleared out and the chamber would be assigned to another.
Wait, why was I even undertaking this? Did I truly concern myself with him that deeply? My mother eternally claimed I lacked feeling. I was like a frigid computing device void of kindness. I trusted her and accepted my truth, even my wolf seemed lifeless within, we scarcely interacted, at times I overlooked I possessed a wolf. The sole feeling I could experience was devotion. I knew I was devoted, but that was it.
Love. Pain. Regret. Feelings I had never encountered, but I covertly valued my absence of them. Until now…
I’d come to grasp that I concerned profoundly for both Clara and Silas. I liked Silas, while I loved Clara, without even grasping and now one was deceased.
I rested on Silas’s bed, my digits combing through my locks in exasperation. Then, something captured my attention- a glimpse of a note concealed under a loose plank. I attempted to avert my gaze, to reject it as unimportant, but the recollection of Silas’s phrases tormented me. I extended for the note, retrieved it and commenced to peruse.
The note dropped from my grasp as the dreadful reality at last struck me. I comprehended everything now, the abrupt assault on the Alpha, Silas’s admission and his demise. The fragments started to align with a frigid accuracy.
Lady Marceline had exploited Silas to establish contact with the prohibited Rogue Alpha..
Darius.
I rose, tried to present the note to the Alpha solely to be obstructed by a lofty daunting sentry. He rested against Silas’s chamber door, his attendance emanating a disturbing chill.
“You must be Cael,” he stated, his tone a subdued, frigid whisper. “Lady Marceline wishes to converse with you.”
I gulped deeply, the burden of Silas’s demise and my own approaching ruin bore down on me. The precise cause for Silas’s death… It was evident now. And I was on the verge of becoming a tool.